Sham ko nikalte waqt baarish ke aasar nazar aane lage.
Toh bike par Ronnie ko lekar jana mushkil laga.
.
Maine Soloman se apni mushkil samjaayi.
Usne apni car muje offer kari.
Uski car 2nd hand waali thi, magar fir bhi meri bike se toh jyada hi comfortable thi.
Toh I accepted his offer.
.
Ronnie ke dad ke ghar ja kar usey pick-up karte karte toh baarish zoro se shuru ho gayi thi.
Woh ghar se bhagta hua aaya, baarish se bachne ke liye apna sar niche jhukaaye hue.
Aur aak kar dhadaam se meri bagal wali seat par baith gaya.
.
"Fuck. it's cold..!" -kehte hue usne samne wala mirror niche ki aur jhukaya.
Aur apne baalo mein ungli ghusa kar apne giley chipke hue baalo ko re-shape karne laga.
.
As he continued with his hair attempting to spike them up, I quietly stared at him.
uska khubsurat chehra, uski dark brown chamkili aankho se aur bhi chamak utha tha.
Meri nazar uske chehre se sarakti hui, niche ki aur jaane lagi.
.
uske badan ka har woh hissa jika muaina karne ka muje koi haqq nahi raha tha, uski taarif karti hui meri aankhe uski gardan, uski chhaati, uske peit par ja kar atak gayi.
usne ek stylish causal shirt penhi hui thi, jiski sleeves uper ki aur roll ki hui thi, aur ek button ki help se waha jamaye rakhi hui thi.
White color ki fabric mein uska gori gori kalaai, uspar ke halke halke baal kaafi suhaane lag rahe thhe muje.
Uski left niplle ke aaspaas wale area par black eagle ki design, aur niche "Ranger" likha hua logo..uski shirt ko rangilapan baxati thi.
hardam uske shirts usey perfectly fit hote thhe,
magar yeh shirt kuch loose-fitting ki lag rhi thi. Has he lost weight..?
.
Aur nichey nazar karte hi uski thighs nazar aayi.
pichli baar jab woh meri waist ke aas-paas jis mazbuuti se woh lipati hui thi, woh lamha yaad aate hi meri zubaan apne-aap mere hontho ko chaatne lagi.
.
Pichhle birthday par maine gift di hui jeans woh penhne hue tha.
contrast colour ki stiching ki wajah se muje woh jeans barabar yaad reh gayi thi.
.
firse meri nazar uske chehre par ja pahuchi
toh dekha ke he had stopped messing with his hair and had relaxed back into the seat.
Woh meri taraf ek-tak nazaro se taak raha tha.
Mai seham gaya.
.
"Sorry." -I whispered- "So, where we going..?"
"Woo-doo." -usne bluntly respond kiya, jis wajah se mere dmuuh se ek aah nikal gayi.
"Ok. If you insist on that..." -mai aur kuch nahi bol paya.
Of course I wanted to argue with him for this.
Muje uske dimaag mein yeh baat drill karni thi ke Woo-doo jana ek terrible plan hoga.
Mai literally imagine kar sakta tha ke yeh shaam kaise bitnewaali hai.
He would start asking about the guys he would see there.
Aur fir raat ko yehi argument chalti rahegi, ke 'how could u do this' and 'why u did that'
Yup, tonight was going to be fucking wonderful...
During the whole 15mins drive, woh window ke bahar baarish ki aur dekhta raha.
.
Jaise hi ham Woo-doo ke bahar aa kar rukey ke mere stomach mein muje ek anjaana sa khaalipan mehsuus hone laga.
.
Before killing the engine of the car, mai Ronnie ki aur muud kar dekha.
Woh sakht nazro se uus unofficial gay-bar ki aur dekh raha tha.
.
"You still wanna do this..?" I asked.
Ronnie ne sar hila kar haami bhari, toh maine chaabi ghuma kar engine bandh kiya aur car ke bahar nikla.
apne pichey dhadaam se darwaaza bandh karne se, mai apne aap ko rok nahi paya.
I didn't look at Ronnie as I walked round the car and met him on the path.
I heard him take a deep breath though, before taking a firm hold of my hand.
.
"Let's get over. I mean...over with. Let's get this over with..." Ronnie ne ek sukhi aawaaz mein kaha aur mere haath chhor kar aage chalne laga.
.
Ek thandi aah bharkar mai usey mere aage chalte hue dekhne laga.
Uske cologne ki khushbhu woh pichhe chhorta gaya tha.
I inhaled it deeply, as if it would wash away my disappointment.
.
Andar ghuste hi, jab maine apni jaan-pehchaan waale kuch mardo ko waha dekha,
toh mera sar apne-aap nichey jhuuk gaya.
-Fuck yaar, please don't come over and talk to me...
.
The beer-bar was dark, and busy, which it usually was every night.
The soft, dimmed lighting creating floods of shadows throughout the room.
.
Involuntarily, counter ke wooden surface par mai apni ungli bajane laga.
Ronnie jo mere kandhe se apna kandha sattakar mere bilkuul nazdik khada tha, us'se nazar milana maine deliberately avoid kiya.
.
Mere maathe par paseene ki buundo se tickling ho rahi thi, magar mere haath itne sakht ho chuke thhe ke woh upar uuth kar pasina pochhne ke kaabil nahi thhe.
.
"Two LP-strong please..!" -maine counter ke pichhe khade uus bar-boy ko kaha, jis ke saath shamefully, mai ek baar sex kar chuka tha.
.
Bar-boy pichey se beer ke 2 mugs bhar kar aaya
aur counter par hamare saamne 'thud' ke saath rakh diye.
Aawaaz se chaunk kar maine upar dekha, toh usne muje aankh maari.
Shiit...I hope Ronnie didn't see that.
.
Badey badey ghuunt bhar kar usne sirf 10 mins mein 2 glasses purey kar diye..
Tab maine achanak mehsuus kiya ke woh mujse duuri badhate hue kuch duur sarakne laga hai.
Maine upar ki aur dekha toh paaya ke he was glaring at one particular person.
When I followed his direction toh I saw Aasif there.
Fuck...!
.
Maine apna nichla honth zoro se apne daanto taley daba diya.
Mere already uneasy stomach mein fir se ek naya sa sannata chhane laga.
.
Ronnie was breathing loudly through his nose, sounding like a Bull who is ready to charge now.
I slowly forced my eyes to look at him, despite the heat it caused to flood to my cheeks.
.
Ronnie apne dono honth zoro se bhiins liye thhe.
ek jhatke ke saath jaise hi woh meri aur muuda ke mera dil ek dhadkan chuuk gaya.
Apni sakht thandi aankho se Ronnie ab muje ghuur raha tha.
.
"You gonna tell me who else in here, you've fucked then..?" -He snarled- "obviously apart from this Aasif. We both know that you've shagged him."
.
Oh God..! mera wala Ronnie kahaan chala gaya.. yeh kaun ghuus aaya uske jism mein..!
.
"We're not going to have that conversation." -maine kuchh himmat bator kar boldly kaha.. haalaan ki meri chest aur mere galey mein thuuk atak si gayi thi.
.
"Just tell me." -usne tikhi zehrili aawaz mein kaha- "I have a fucking right to know."
.
"And that is why you wanted to come here. isn't it..? So that I can point out exactly who I've been with, and tell you every detail about what we did together? That's not gonna achieve anything, Ronnie. It will just upset you."
.
"I'm already upset Nikhil. I doubt..."
.
"Exactly.." -uski baat ko tod'te hue, jitni ho sakey aawaz ko dhimi rakhte hue maine kaha- "You're already hurting enough, so why add to it..? Why do this to yourself..?"
.
Ronnie meri aur taakta raha..with all his anger, sorrow, dis-belief and what not..
aur aise negetive feelings ke mixture se uska chehra ab kuch badsurat hota chala tha..
I started praying God ke kuch aisa ho, jis'se yeh baat yahi ruuk jaaye.. (contd..)
.
=======================
Toh bike par Ronnie ko lekar jana mushkil laga.
.
Maine Soloman se apni mushkil samjaayi.
Usne apni car muje offer kari.
Uski car 2nd hand waali thi, magar fir bhi meri bike se toh jyada hi comfortable thi.
Toh I accepted his offer.
.
Ronnie ke dad ke ghar ja kar usey pick-up karte karte toh baarish zoro se shuru ho gayi thi.
Woh ghar se bhagta hua aaya, baarish se bachne ke liye apna sar niche jhukaaye hue.
Aur aak kar dhadaam se meri bagal wali seat par baith gaya.
.
"Fuck. it's cold..!" -kehte hue usne samne wala mirror niche ki aur jhukaya.
Aur apne baalo mein ungli ghusa kar apne giley chipke hue baalo ko re-shape karne laga.
.
As he continued with his hair attempting to spike them up, I quietly stared at him.
uska khubsurat chehra, uski dark brown chamkili aankho se aur bhi chamak utha tha.
Meri nazar uske chehre se sarakti hui, niche ki aur jaane lagi.
.
uske badan ka har woh hissa jika muaina karne ka muje koi haqq nahi raha tha, uski taarif karti hui meri aankhe uski gardan, uski chhaati, uske peit par ja kar atak gayi.
usne ek stylish causal shirt penhi hui thi, jiski sleeves uper ki aur roll ki hui thi, aur ek button ki help se waha jamaye rakhi hui thi.
White color ki fabric mein uska gori gori kalaai, uspar ke halke halke baal kaafi suhaane lag rahe thhe muje.
Uski left niplle ke aaspaas wale area par black eagle ki design, aur niche "Ranger" likha hua logo..uski shirt ko rangilapan baxati thi.
hardam uske shirts usey perfectly fit hote thhe,
magar yeh shirt kuch loose-fitting ki lag rhi thi. Has he lost weight..?
.
Aur nichey nazar karte hi uski thighs nazar aayi.
pichli baar jab woh meri waist ke aas-paas jis mazbuuti se woh lipati hui thi, woh lamha yaad aate hi meri zubaan apne-aap mere hontho ko chaatne lagi.
.
Pichhle birthday par maine gift di hui jeans woh penhne hue tha.
contrast colour ki stiching ki wajah se muje woh jeans barabar yaad reh gayi thi.
.
firse meri nazar uske chehre par ja pahuchi
toh dekha ke he had stopped messing with his hair and had relaxed back into the seat.
Woh meri taraf ek-tak nazaro se taak raha tha.
Mai seham gaya.
.
"Sorry." -I whispered- "So, where we going..?"
"Woo-doo." -usne bluntly respond kiya, jis wajah se mere dmuuh se ek aah nikal gayi.
"Ok. If you insist on that..." -mai aur kuch nahi bol paya.
Of course I wanted to argue with him for this.
Muje uske dimaag mein yeh baat drill karni thi ke Woo-doo jana ek terrible plan hoga.
Mai literally imagine kar sakta tha ke yeh shaam kaise bitnewaali hai.
He would start asking about the guys he would see there.
Aur fir raat ko yehi argument chalti rahegi, ke 'how could u do this' and 'why u did that'
Yup, tonight was going to be fucking wonderful...
During the whole 15mins drive, woh window ke bahar baarish ki aur dekhta raha.
.
Jaise hi ham Woo-doo ke bahar aa kar rukey ke mere stomach mein muje ek anjaana sa khaalipan mehsuus hone laga.
.
Before killing the engine of the car, mai Ronnie ki aur muud kar dekha.
Woh sakht nazro se uus unofficial gay-bar ki aur dekh raha tha.
.
"You still wanna do this..?" I asked.
Ronnie ne sar hila kar haami bhari, toh maine chaabi ghuma kar engine bandh kiya aur car ke bahar nikla.
apne pichey dhadaam se darwaaza bandh karne se, mai apne aap ko rok nahi paya.
I didn't look at Ronnie as I walked round the car and met him on the path.
I heard him take a deep breath though, before taking a firm hold of my hand.
.
"Let's get over. I mean...over with. Let's get this over with..." Ronnie ne ek sukhi aawaaz mein kaha aur mere haath chhor kar aage chalne laga.
.
Ek thandi aah bharkar mai usey mere aage chalte hue dekhne laga.
Uske cologne ki khushbhu woh pichhe chhorta gaya tha.
I inhaled it deeply, as if it would wash away my disappointment.
.
Andar ghuste hi, jab maine apni jaan-pehchaan waale kuch mardo ko waha dekha,
toh mera sar apne-aap nichey jhuuk gaya.
-Fuck yaar, please don't come over and talk to me...
.
The beer-bar was dark, and busy, which it usually was every night.
The soft, dimmed lighting creating floods of shadows throughout the room.
.
Involuntarily, counter ke wooden surface par mai apni ungli bajane laga.
Ronnie jo mere kandhe se apna kandha sattakar mere bilkuul nazdik khada tha, us'se nazar milana maine deliberately avoid kiya.
.
Mere maathe par paseene ki buundo se tickling ho rahi thi, magar mere haath itne sakht ho chuke thhe ke woh upar uuth kar pasina pochhne ke kaabil nahi thhe.
.
"Two LP-strong please..!" -maine counter ke pichhe khade uus bar-boy ko kaha, jis ke saath shamefully, mai ek baar sex kar chuka tha.
.
Bar-boy pichey se beer ke 2 mugs bhar kar aaya
aur counter par hamare saamne 'thud' ke saath rakh diye.
Aawaaz se chaunk kar maine upar dekha, toh usne muje aankh maari.
Shiit...I hope Ronnie didn't see that.
.
Badey badey ghuunt bhar kar usne sirf 10 mins mein 2 glasses purey kar diye..
Tab maine achanak mehsuus kiya ke woh mujse duuri badhate hue kuch duur sarakne laga hai.
Maine upar ki aur dekha toh paaya ke he was glaring at one particular person.
When I followed his direction toh I saw Aasif there.
Fuck...!
.
Maine apna nichla honth zoro se apne daanto taley daba diya.
Mere already uneasy stomach mein fir se ek naya sa sannata chhane laga.
.
Ronnie was breathing loudly through his nose, sounding like a Bull who is ready to charge now.
I slowly forced my eyes to look at him, despite the heat it caused to flood to my cheeks.
.
Ronnie apne dono honth zoro se bhiins liye thhe.
ek jhatke ke saath jaise hi woh meri aur muuda ke mera dil ek dhadkan chuuk gaya.
Apni sakht thandi aankho se Ronnie ab muje ghuur raha tha.
.
"You gonna tell me who else in here, you've fucked then..?" -He snarled- "obviously apart from this Aasif. We both know that you've shagged him."
.
Oh God..! mera wala Ronnie kahaan chala gaya.. yeh kaun ghuus aaya uske jism mein..!
.
"We're not going to have that conversation." -maine kuchh himmat bator kar boldly kaha.. haalaan ki meri chest aur mere galey mein thuuk atak si gayi thi.
.
"Just tell me." -usne tikhi zehrili aawaz mein kaha- "I have a fucking right to know."
.
"And that is why you wanted to come here. isn't it..? So that I can point out exactly who I've been with, and tell you every detail about what we did together? That's not gonna achieve anything, Ronnie. It will just upset you."
.
"I'm already upset Nikhil. I doubt..."
.
"Exactly.." -uski baat ko tod'te hue, jitni ho sakey aawaz ko dhimi rakhte hue maine kaha- "You're already hurting enough, so why add to it..? Why do this to yourself..?"
.
Ronnie meri aur taakta raha..with all his anger, sorrow, dis-belief and what not..
aur aise negetive feelings ke mixture se uska chehra ab kuch badsurat hota chala tha..
I started praying God ke kuch aisa ho, jis'se yeh baat yahi ruuk jaaye.. (contd..)
.
=======================
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