HAPPY NEW YEAR

Wishing All My Readers A very Very Happy New Year -2013

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HYDERABADI BIRYAANI

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You guys must be knowing about the famous American kid, little Johny.
His sentences are full of dirty-shit and filthy-fuck words
But in Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny.
His name is Chhotu.
His father is ambitious to educate Chotu.
Chotu goes to school located in a backward area Appa Chabutra.
The principal of the school is educated in Urdu high school
and claims that he passed tenth class..!
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Now, tomorrow there is a school inspection
and today the conversation is as follows:
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Teacher: "Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa (questions) puchinga. Sab achchaa padkey aao. Koi galath answer dingaa naa.. tho main uske pairaan thod detoon."
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Chotu: "Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta katey?"
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Teacher: "Abey tereku kaiku re..? tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan nikaltay. Tereku main absent nai daalthaun. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani banake khaaingaa tu."
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So our Chotu is excited,
goes home and tells his father that he is not going to school the next day.
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Father: "Ye kyaa hai..? ischool hai ki paan-dabba hai? Gaand pay maartoon saale tu ischool nai gaya to..!"
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Chotu: "Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.."
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Father: "Usku akhal hai..? Begum suno..! Chotu ischool nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Chotu, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaun."
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So Chotu cries
and finally agrees to go to school.
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Next day at the school, the teacher is very upset to see Chotu back.
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Teacher: "Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole, to bhi kaiku aaya re?"
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Chotu: "Mera bava gaand phod detaon bola, ischool nai gaya to."
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Teacher: "Offo! Tera bava bola..? Theek hai chal.. Last bench pe baith aur inispector aaya to chhup jaa... Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa meri noukri gaand lag jayingi."
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So Chotu goes and sits on the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.
Inspector from the education department comes for the visit.
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Inspector: "Adaab."
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Teacher: "Adaab saab. Bachen acha pad rain saab. Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte..chuti bajaake.."
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Inspector: "Abaa.. Offo..! Ittey kilever(clever) hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth aasaan sawaal -Hamarey jisam mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?"
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Teacher: "Arey Imtiyaz tu bata re..!"
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Imtiyaz: "Saab, Kaleja saab."
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Inspector: "Aisa..? woh kyun..?"
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Imtiyaz: "Saab, kaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar wo gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab..!"
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Inspector: "Abaa, kya tez potta hai re..! Aur koi..?"
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Teacher: "Arey Akram, tu bata re.."
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Akram: "Saab, bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta, saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karte, iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakte, saab."
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Inspector: "Abey Teacher, kya kya padaa raa re inku tu. Chutiyo ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa..!!"
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In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard, to hide but the Inspector sees him.
He thinks Chotu is hiding because he does not know the answer.
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Inspector: "Wo last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa wo pottey ka naam kya hai?"
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Teacher: "Kaun saab..? Woh...! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab."
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Inspector: "Chotu..? Ye kya naam hai..? Kahan-kahan se lagaa lete re bhai, naamaa..! Chotu, woh lambu ke peechche kaiku chhup raa tu..?"
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Chotu: "Saab, main moo khola, to teacher maaringa, saab.."
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Inspector: "Tere ku yaa mere ku..??"
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Teacher: "Arey kya baat kar re saab, main kaaiku maarthau aapku. Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to bol, nai to khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap, tere pairaan padtaau."
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Chotu: "Saab answer 'gaand' hai saab."
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(Teacher: "Allah..! Inno moo khola to meri gaand lag gayi re..!")
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Inspector: "Abey kyaa tu bhi bolra re..! Sharam kar. badon ke saamne aisaich baataan kartey..? Yeich sikaaye tumhaare amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan kaa answer hai re..?"
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Chotu: "Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku boleto wahaan pe dilli mein bamb phata, to yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat ti... Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hotey, wahaan new city mein sabki gaand phat ti... Uttaa lamba kaiku saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand phatri dekho..!"
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Inspector: abey Teacher.. mere ku to chakkaraan aa raile re..!
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But before him, the teacher faints..
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CHHOTU, APNA WOH BADMAASH LADKA

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Wo shaitan bachcha Chhotu, jiski baat maine 'Hyderabadi Biryaani' mein kahi thi,
wo jab bada ho gaya, tab ki yeh baat hai.
Wo bada ho kar kuchh kar toh nahi paya
haan, woh ek shayar bann gaya
aur ghar-ghar mein uska naam ho gaya.
Lekin apni purani aadat se woh baaz nahi aaya..
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Woh, ek baar waha ke Nizaam (Raja) ki beti ki shaadi mein gaya.
ab..woh isliye, kyo ke galti se kisi ne invitation de diya tha usey..
warna usko apne kisi bhi function mein bulana, yeh apni jag-hasaai khud hi karwa lene ke barabar tha..
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kuch samay ke liye toh woh khuub salike se pesh aaya.
toh kuch logo ne usey ek sher bolne ko kahs.
Ab woh log toh bechaare, kuch decent type ki shayri expect kar rhe thhe,
Magar jab Chhotu ne muuh khola, toh:
"SHER KAHE, SHAYARI KAHE YA GAYE KOI GANA
 SHER KAHE, SHAYARI KAHE YA GAYE KOI GANA
 TERI NAANI PAIR UTHAYE, CHODE MERA NANA.."
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Audience toh shockd ho gayi, halaanki, apna yeh Chhotu-shayar apni bhayankar gaandu shayari kehne ke liye kaafi mash'hoor tha.
Magar yaar, yeh toh ek shaahi-shaadi thi,
toh logo ne shaayar ko iis shaadi ke baare mein do alfaaz kehne ko kaha.
Toh hamare shaayar sahab ne farmaya...:
"KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTZAAM KI...
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Public: "Waah.. Wah Waah.. Irshaad.. Irshaad.. !!
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"KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTZAAM KI...
 KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTZAAM KI...
 CHUDEGI AAJ LAUNDI APNE NIZAAM KI.."
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Ab toh public ke gussey par koi kaabu na rha..
Log Chhotu-shaayar ko gaaliya dene lage. Patthar fenkne lagey..
iis par, apna yeh shaayar fir shuru ho gaya-
"AYE, DHARTI KE CHAAND SITARON...
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Audience fir shaant ho gayi..
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"AYE, DHARTI KE CHAAND SITARON...
 MAA KE LAUDO, PATTHAR TO NA MARO.."
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Ab ki baar public, out of control chali gayi, aur shaayar ko piitne par aa gayi.
Shayar ne apne liye rahem ki bhikh maangi, maafi bhi mangi,
magar woh log, Chhotu ki ek bhi baat suun'ne ko taiyaar nahi thhe.
Aakhir usne bas itna hi kaha-
"GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE, GAAND MAAR LO HAMARI..
 GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE, GAAND MAAR LO HAMARI....
 JAB BAHAR-E-CHAMAN HOGI, MA CHOD DENGE TUMHARI..."
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Ab uske baad jo bhi hua, woh toh ek iitihaas, ek tawarikh hai.
Lekin apne iis shaayar ke saath-saath, iitihaas bhi nahi badla.
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Ab jaahir hai, ke aise chutiye ke prem mein toh koi ladki padegi nahi.
To apne yeh Chhotu-janaab, Hyderabaad se Mumbai, pyar ka chakkar chalane ke liye aaye.
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Yahaan usne ek mast-mast cheez ko dekha.
Ladki ka dhyaan kahi aur tha,
toh, shaayar-sahab ne wahi farma diya...:
"MUUD KAR ZARA IDHAR BHI DEKH, ZAALIM
 KE TAMANNA, HAM BHI RAKHTE HAI.
 CHUT TERE PAAS HAI, TO KYA..
 LUND, HAM BHI RAKHTE HAI.."
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Aap maanoge nahi..
par uus ladki ko yeh shaayri pasand aa gayi.
Aur uske dil mein shayar ke liye titliya uutne lagi..
aur dono ka ek dusre se kaanta bheed gaya
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Kuch din tak toh sab theek chal rha tha.
magar woh ladki, Chhotu ko kuch aage badhne nahi deti thi. 
Toh ek suhane mousam pe, hsmare iis dost ne usey kahe hi dala-
"DIL TO DIYA HAI TUJ,E PAR EK SHART LAGAYI HAI
 LENI HAI WOHI CHEEZ, JO TUNE TANGO ME CHHIPAYEE HAI.."
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Bas baat khatm..
Ladki ek dam ruuth gayi aur shayar se milna jhulna chhor diya.
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Toh ab, shayar ki haalat bhi kharab ho gayi.
Bechara, maare-gam ke bimaar ho gaya.
Dost log haal-chaal, khair-khairiyat puchhne chale aaye.
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Usko 'cheer-up' karne ke liye dosto ne uus ladki ke liye ek sher arz karne ko kaha.
Toh, shayar mood mein aa gya..
"BE-DARD ZAMANA KYA JAANE
 KYA CHEEZ JUDAAI HOTI HAI..
 BE-DARD ZAMANA KYA JAANE
 KYA CHEEZ JUDAAI HOTI HAI..
 HAM LUND PAKAD KAR BAITHE HAI JABKI
 GHAR GHAR ME CHUDAI HOTI HAI"
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yeh suunkar dost-log hil gaye.
Koi bola- apne lund ko sambhalo, dost.
To koi kaheta hai- agar lund ko pakad kar baithoge, toh muutne kaise jaaoge..?
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To shayar bolta hai-
"KOUN KAHETA HAI, KE LUND YAHAAN MUTNE KO AATA HAI..?
 KOUN KAHETA HAI. KE LUND YAHAAN MUTNEKO AATA HAI..?
 AREY..WO TOH CHUUT KI YAAD MEIN, AANSU BAHANE AATA HAI.."
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Yeh suun kar, sab dost log aur bhi pareshaan ho gaye.
Ek dost se to yeh suna bhi nahi gaya.
Toh wo dost bolta hai ke- mai kaise bhi karke, teri darling ko waapis bulaunga. Tere paas waapas aake, tum pe ek ehsaan karne ki bhikh mangunga.
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Ab aap log to jaante hi ho, ki yeh shayar naam ke kutte kitne khuddar hote hai.
To hamare shayar ko yeh ehsaan lene wali baat kuch pasand nahi aayi.
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To woh bola-
"EHSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA, HAM TO MUUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE HAI
 EHSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA, HAM TO MUUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE HAI
 JAB BHI YAAD UNKI AATI HAI, UUTH UUTH KE DOBARA KARTE HAI.."
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Mehbooba toh kabhi waapas aayi hi nahi.
Toh uski yaad bhula ne ke liye, ab Chhotu-shaayar Delhi chala gaya.
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Wahan jab Qutub Minar ko dekha, toh bola-
"DEKH KE QUTUB MINAAR, SHAYAR KA DIMMAG DOUDA
 DEKH KE QUTUB MINAAR, SHAYAR KA DIMMAG DOUDA
 ASMAAN KO CHODNE DEKHO, CHALA DHARTI KA LAUDA.."
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iis par Delhi-police ki gaand mein khujli hui
toh usey pakad liya gaya
aur court mein pesh kiya gaya.
Jab Judge-saheeba ne puuchha- tumhe kuch kehna hai..?"
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toh woh bola:
"AIE SANAM, UTHA KALAM
 TUJE KASAM HAI, RAB KI
 AIYE SANAM UTHA KALAM
 TUJE KASAM HAI, RAB KI
 AAP KUCH KARO, NA KARO
 MAI TOH, MA CHOD DOONGA SAB KI...
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Court ka aisa apmaan..?
adaalat ka aisa insult karne ke jurm mein, shaayar ko phaansi ki saaza sunaai gayi
he was ordered to be hanged till death.
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Faansi ke baad..
Chhotu ji ko dafnaaya gaya.
Aur Judge-mohattarma shayar ki kabr par gayi -ek formal-visit karne.
magar kehne ki jaruurat nahi, ke ab bhi unka gussa waise hi kaayam tha..
toh woh jo hai, waha ja kar, shayar ki kabr pe gussey se muut di.
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Unke jaane ke baad,
shayar ke bhuut ne ek arz farmaya-
"WO AAYE HAMARI KABAR PAR
 AUR MUUT KE CHALE GAYE
 WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PAR
 AUR MUUT KE CHALE GAYE
 MUUTNE KA TOH BAHANA THA, YAARO
 APNI CHUUT DIKHA KAR CHALE GAYE....!"
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isey kehte hai ke- insaan ki aadat, uske bachpan se banti hai, aur uski kabar tak panapti hai..
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KHATTA MEETHA

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Ek baar ek pathaan ne International Quizz Contest mein, 5 mein se 2 sawaal ke right answers de diye..
Ab yeh toh apne aap mein ek Achievement hi gina ja sakta tha..
Toh us pathaan ki kaafi taarif ki gayi
aur uska interview bhi liya gaya..
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Interviewer: Pathan saab, aap ke ghar-pariwaar mein kaun kaun hai..?
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Pathaan: ham khuud hai, hamari ammi, hamare abba, aur hamair 6 biwiyaan..
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Inteviewr: 6 biwi..?
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Pathaan: haan ji..
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Inteviewr: itn saari..? sab ko khush kaise rakhte ho aap..?
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Pathaan: arey, hafte ke har din, roz alag alag..
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Inteviewr: lekin pathaan saab, hafte ke toh 7 din hote hai..
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Pathaan: haan, toh hamara ek saala bhi toh hai.. sunday ko... woh kya hai, 6 din meetha, toh ek din namkeen..!
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WHAT DOES A KISS MEANS..?

~ What does a Kiss means..? ~
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Kiss on the stomach = I'm ready
Kiss on the Forehead = I hope we're together forever
Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything
Kiss on the Cheek = We're friends
Kiss on the Hand = I adore you
Kiss on the Neck = We belong together
Kiss on the Shoulder = I want you
Kiss on the Lips = I love you
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What these gestures means...?
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Holding Hands = We definitely love each other
Slap on the Butt = That's mine
Holding on tight = I don't want to let go
Looking into each other's Eyes = I just plain love you
Playing with Hair = Tell me you love me
Arms around the Waist = I love you too much to let go
Laughing while Kissing = I am completely comfortable with you
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ADVICE..
Dont ask for a kiss, take one.
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If you were thinking about someone while reading this..
then well.. you're definitely in Love "
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KYA THA WOH SUSPENSE..?

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Ek chhote se hall mein shaadi ki reception-party chal rahi thi..
tabhi dulhan ne apne Papa ke haath mein ek chhoti si cheez di..
Papa ne uus cheez ko haath mein le kar dekha,
aur unki aankh bhar aayi..
uske chehre par khushi ki lehar daud gayi..
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Mehmaan, ye sab dekh rahe thhe..
achraj bhari aankho se..
fir
kabhi kabhi dulhan ko toh kabhi dulhan ke papa ko, toh kabhi ek dusre ki aur dekhne lagey..
aur fir
andar andar ek duje ko puchne lage..
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Dulhan ke papa ne jab dekha..
ke hall mein suspense bhara mahaul bann gaya hai,
aur log ab unki aur ummid se dekh rahe hai,
toh..
unhoney bhed kholna chaha..
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unhoney MIKE haath mein liya
aur bole -
"Ladies and Gentlemen, aaj yeh meri life ka ekdam lucky din hai.."
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fir dulhan ne jo cheez di thi, woh haath upar utha kar mehmaano ko dikhateu kaha-
"aaj meri beti ne, finally..
finally mera credit-card muje wapas lauta diya hai.."
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Bhedbhari baat kya thi, woh jaan kar kuch Hall mein maujuud mehmaan, thahake maar kar hans diye..
toh koi kehmaan bass, muskura diye..
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Agar koi tha purey hall mein, jo na hans pada tha, ya na muskura raha tha..
toh woh tha bass...
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bechara Dulha..
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HEIGHT OF COMPETITION

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Nadi me duubte hue aadmi ne
puul par chalte hue aadmi
ko aawaz lagayi- "bachaao bachaao"
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puul par chalte aadmi ne niche rassi feki
aur kaha- "pakd lo, aur aa jaao.."
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Nadi me dobta hua aadmi
rassi nahi pakad pa raha tha
reh reh kar woh bas yehi
chillaaye ja raha tha-
"marna nahi chahta mai,
zindagi badi mehengi hai
kal hi to ek MNC mein
meri naukri lagi hai.."
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Itna suunte hi puulwale ne
apna rassi kheech liya
bhagte bhagte wo
uus MNC company gaya
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wahan ke HR ko usne pataaya
jo hua tha abhi abhi, woh haal sunaya-
"abhi abhi ek aadmi
duubkar mar gaya hai
aur is tarah aapki company mein
ek jagah khaali kar gaya hai...
Mai be-rojgaar huun, muje aap le lo
taqleef meri kuch kam hogi
duaaen meri le lo.."
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HR bola- "dost, tumne der kar di,
hamne abhi abhi woh jagah, hai bhar di..
bas kuchh hi der pehle,
hamne uss aadmi ko lagaya hai
jo usey dhakka de kar
tumse pehle yahaa aaya hai.."
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WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME..?

Interview of a Chennai-guy in USA Consulate:
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"Your name?"
"Dinesh."
"How do you spell it?"
"D-I-N...."
"Slow, slow, T?"
"No, D."
"Is that T as in Tom, or D as in Dennis?"
"No, not Dennis, my name is Dinesh."
"I know that. I am asking you, is that a T as in Tom, or D as in as in Detroit?"
"I don't know who Tom is, and I haven't been to Detroit. I just came to the USA from Chennai."
"OK, OK, I know that. Is that T-I- or D-I- ?"
"D. D-I-. D-I-N-E-S-H. "
"ok..Is that your last name or first name?"
"Uh..? Dinesh is my name."
"Ok..ok. What is your Last name?"
"That is my first and last name. Dinesh."
"Then, is your name Dinesh Dinesh?"
"No. My name is Only Dinesh."
"So your name is 'Only Dinesh'..?
"No, my name is 'Dinesh'..
"But what is your LAST NAME..? I am ASKING YOU ABOUT YOUR LAST NAME."
"I told you, Dinesh. I always had the same name, from birth till now.
DINESH. That's my name."
"Well, what is your family name?"
"Family..? Family name..? My family doesn't have a name."
"What do the neighbors call you..?"
"Dinesh."
"Not you. Your whole family. What do they call your family..?"
"Beedida Bhat'rr."
"So, that is your family name. Do you understand..? " How do you spell that?"
"Spell what?"
"B.D. whatever you said, What your neighbors call your family."
"Oh, that ... Beedida Bhat'rr. But what do you need that for? It only means 'the brahmin who makes beedis.'"
"What are B-Ds?"
"Not B-D. Beedi. It's like a cigarette, you see, they roll the tobacco in a leaf and tie a thread around it. 25 in a kattu."
"25 in a what?"
"Kattu, or katta, whatever. Like a bunch, you see. If there is even one less or one more, my father could always tell without counting. He then taught me how to do it."
"I am not worried about your 'cutter' or whatever. Tell me what-is-your-last-name? "
"I told you, Dinesh."
"OK, OK, I don't want to go over this again. What is common in the names of all the members of your family?"
"All our names are in Sanskrit. My first sister is Suneetha, and the second sister is Sumathi ... "
"Not about the language. When you write your name, and your sister writes her name, what do you two have in common?"
"We have the same handwriting. Even my father can't tell our handwritings apart."
"Blast it..! What is your father's name?"
"G.K.Nettar. "
"What does G.K. stand for?"
"His name, Gopala Krishna."
"Then what is Nettar?"
"That is our house name."
"House name..? Aha, does every one at your house have this name..?"
"It is not our name. It is the name of our house. Strictly speaking, it should be Honnadka. But my father was too lazy to change it. My father was born in Honnadka, but, see, my grandfather was born in Nettar."
"What was his name?"
"I told you, G.K.Nettar."
"Your grandfather was also called G.K. whatever?"
"No. That is my father."
"Then what is your grandfather' s name?"
"Govinda Bhat. See..? my relatives still call me Mangalore Govinda. Because it is a tradition to name the first son after his grandfather. I mean the first son has the name of his grandfather.
And all the brothers of my father have done this. So, we have Honnadka Govinda, Jogibettu Govinda, Kanchodu Govinda, and I am Mangalore Govinda."
"So, then, your name is Mangalore Govinda, not Dinesh."
"No. My name is Dinesh. Mangalore Govinda is how my relatives call me. That is not my Name."
"What do they call your sister?"
"Ammanni."
"What? You said her name is Sooneetha."
"Yes, that is her name, Suneetha, but we call her Ammanni."
"Is that her nick-name?"
"No. she doesn't have a nick name. Only our neighbor's daughter has a nick name. She is called 'soote'. She is very active. That's why."
"What about your brother?"
"I have no brothers. But then, you can count all those Govindas as my brothers too. See, they are really kind of my brothers more than cousins."
"OK, what are their names?"
"The oldest one, he is my big brother. He is called GovindaNNa."
"Govind Anna? Then Anna is his last name."
"No, ANNA, not anna. ANNA means big brother."
"What is his NAME?"
"His name is Govinda Bhat."
"Then your last name is But."
"Not but, Bhat, B-H-A-T. But that's not his name, you see."
"If that's not his name, what is it? Why does he have it in his name?"
"Bhat simply means he is a brahmin. He might as well write Rao, like his father does, or Sharma, like my father's second brother does."
"How does he write his name in official papers?"
"Nettar Govinda Bhat. That's how he writes it."
"How does his father write it?"
"Nettar Venkata Subba Rao."
"Aha, I can see now. Your father is G.K.Nettar, his brother is Nettar something Rao... your last name is then Nettar. Aha, I got it."
"But Nettar is not the last name. It is the house name."
"I don't care. Tell me one last time, what is YOUR last name?"
"But I told you, my last name is the same as my first name, my only name, Dinesh."
"Then, I am going to write Nettar here. I don't care if it is your house name, your grandfather' s name, your dog's name, whatever. It is your last name. How do you spell it? N-E-..."
"N-E-T-T-A-R. "
"N-E-T-T-? Is that T as in Tom or D as in Dennis?"
"Not Dennis, my name is Dinesh."
"AARRGGHHHHH. Do we have to go through this again? Here, write it down."
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"Well..That's it. From now on, you are Dinesh Nettar, Dinesh is your first name, and Nettar is your last name. OK..?"
.
===========================================

INDIAN STUDENT- SO DUMB, SO INTELLIGENT

.
It was the 1st day of a school in USA
and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the 9th Standard
.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Ok..? So tell me, Who said
"Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?
.
She saw nothing except blank faces, but then Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:
"Patrick Henry, 1775" -he said.
.
"Very good..! now..who said -"Government of the People, by the People, for the People,
shall not perish from the Earth..?"
.
Again, no response from any student except from Chandrasekhar.
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863" -said Chandrasekhar.
.
The teacher snapped at the class,
"Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
.
She heard a loud whisper:
"Fuck the Indians,"
.
"Who said that?" -she demanded.
.
Chandrasekhar put his hand up.
"General Custer, 1862."
.
At that point, a student in the back said,
"I'm gonna puke."
.
The teacher glares around and asks-
"All right..! now, who said that..?"
Again, Chandrasekhar says- "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
.
Now furious, another student yells- "Oh yeah..? Suck this..!"
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher-
"Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997..!"
.
Now..with almost mob hysteria someone from behind said-
"You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice-
" Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004."
.
Teacher fainted.
The class gathered around the teacher on the floor,
and someone said- "Oh shit, we're fucked!"
And Chandrasekhar said quietly- I think it was George Bush, in Iraq, 2007."
.
=============================================

MALE-BRAIN

What the Brain of a Male keeps on thinking all the while..?

ENGLISH TO HINDI DICTIONARY (for Guys)

English to Hindi Dictionary for guys..
.
excuse me= suun be chutiye..!
.
stupid= abe, gandu..!
.
get out= Nikal, bhosdike..!
.
I m in problem = Yaar, Loude lag gaye..!
.
I am scared= gaand phati hui hai..
.
Hey, where r u= kahan gaand mara raha hai..?
.
Would u like to have this= le ga laudu.?
.
Not possible= chal bhosdike..?
.
He is a very bad person= Bada madarchod hai..!
.
I'm sorry= maa chuda..!
.
I forgive u= chal muh mei le..!
.
No= ghanta..!
.
Too small= jhaant barabar
.
Too big= gaand faadu
 .
Difficulty= gaand faat gayi
.
We rock= maa chod di
.
.
And finally the best one
Dost= laude..!
.
=================

CLEVER BOY

A female teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class of 3rd standard.
The boy said 'Ma'am, I should b in 4th standard, I'm smarter than my sis & she's in the 4th standard'.
.
The Ma'am {Teacher} had  heard enough of his complains & took the boy to the Principal's office.
She explained everything to the Principal who decided 2 test the boy with some questions that a 4th standard should know.
.
 Principal: What's 3+3?
 Boy: 6
.
 Principal: 6+6?
 Boy: 12
& so on...
.
.
The Principal asked the boy many ques to the boy got them right.
So he then asked Ma'am to send the boy to 4th standard.
.
 Ma'am decided to ask some more questions
& the Principal agreed.
.
Ma'am: What does a cow have 4 of, that I've only 2 of?
 Boy: Legs
.
 Ma'am: What's in your pants that you have but I don't have?
 Boy: Pockets
.
 Ma'am: What starts wit a C & ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin whitish
liquid?
Boy: Coconut
.
Ma'am: What starts wit 'F' & ends with a 'K' & if u don't get it, you've to use your hand?
Boy : Fork
.
 Ma'am: What goes in hard & pink then comes out soft & sticky?
(The principal's eyes open really wide,but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge.)
Boy: Bubble Gum
.
 Ma'am: You stick ur poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do. What am I?
Boy: Tent
( The principal was looking restless..)
.
 Ma'am: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has
me 1st and what am I?
Boy: Wedding Ring
.
 Ma'am: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When u blow me, you feel good..who am I?
Boy: Nose
.
 Ma'am: I've a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver. Who am i..?
Boy:Arrow
.
 Ma'am: Whats it that all men have, it'slonger in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his & a man gives it to his wife after marriage?
Boy: Surname
.
Ma'am: What part of the man has no bone, but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin & is
 responsible for making love?
Boy: Heart
.
 The principal breathed a sigh of relief & told the teacher: 'Send the boy to University, I got the last 10 questions wrong myself...!!
.
======================

LEARN TO DRAW A CAT

Let's learn to draw a cat, without much remembering how to draw..

MAKING GAYS HAPPY

.
Four gay-friends enters a bar.
.
The bar-counter is fully packed..
just only one stool for them, whosoever want to sit..
.
Now..
how will they manage to sit on it..so that all of them will be happy..?
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
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.
.
.
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.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
Simple..!
They will put the stool upside down..
and each of them will sit, on each of the four legs of the stool.
See..?
All four of them are happy now..!
.
=========================================

SOME MORE

judey huy rishto ko, todti hai GF
mili huyi raahon ko, modti hai GF
kabhi na dil ke paas apne, aane dena isey
dilon ko dard se be-shaq, jodti hai GF
.
.
.
mat samzna ke- ye nasihat, aap ke liye nahi
bcoz you are a gay
kyu ke
GF ka matlab hota hai...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Galat Fehmi
.
kyu..?
ho gayi thi na, abhi abhi aapko ?
:)
,
,
===========================================
Apne dosto ke kehne par pappu ne FB me account toh khol liya
magar..
magar apni wall par kya likhna chahiye..
wo toh usey malum hi nahi tha..
Woh bahut confused tha..
Bahut socha..
bahot socha..
.
.
.
.
aakhir usne likh diya ke-
"yaha pishab karna mana hai."
.
.
.
===================================
.
.
,
Well..
so Pappu joined FB..
n ever since then,
he always wondered what does LOL meant.
.
Some how..he came to a conclusion, that it should be "Lots Of Love".
.
.
So he thought of using it, while messaging to his GF.
And he did..
.
.
.
.
.
.
He wrote- "You are the only girl in my life. LOL"
.
:D
.
================================
.
.
Pappu ne marne ke 5 minute pahle 2 sms kiye-
"mai ja raha hu.. reply fast..!"
.
.
aur
1st reply Girl Frnd ka aaya-
"tum kaha ja rahe ho..? i am busy, baad me milenge..!"
.
.
.
2nd sms dost ka aaya-
"abey kamine, kaha ja raha hai ? ruuk...mai bhi aata hu..!"
.
.
ye padhkar Pappu muskuraya..
or bola-
"aaj phir, pyar, dosti se haar gaya..."
.
Forward to all ur frnds to show,
that "friendship" is better than love..
.
.
==========================================
.
Height of innocence:
.
Why do some girls watch a
porn movie till the end?
.
.
.
.
They think that the boy will marry the girl in the end..!
;-}
.
================================
.
Guys..
Tell u one thing..
Sex between 3 persons is called threesome..
Sex between 4 persons is called foursome..
and so on..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
so, It conveniently suggests,
that...
most of us prefer to call ourselves HANDSOME..!
.
.
================================
.
Some One-Liners..
.
Constipated People Don’t Give A Shit.
.
If You Drink, Don’t Park. Accidents Cause People.
.
To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
.
If At First You Don’t Succeed... blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
.
Impotence: Nature’s Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
.
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
.
Illiterate..? Write For Help.
.
If You Don’t Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut
.
===========================

A CASE OF DIVORCE

:
Scene: Husband and Wife in court getting a divorce.
:
The problem: who should get custody of the child...????
:
Wife jumped up..
and said: “Your Honour! I brought the child into this world with pain and labour so it should be in my custody..”
:
The judge turns to Husband and says “What do you have to say in your defence?”
:
The husband sat for a while contemplating..
then slowly rose.
:
He said- “Your Honour. If I put a coin in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, whose Pepsi is it..? the machine’s or mine..?”
:
Yeh suun ke…
Wife replied- “Judge sahab…bartan mera…doodh bhi mera…aur usme dahi jamane ke liye 2 boond daalne se, dahi bana toh fir wo dahi kiska..? mera ya do boond daalne wale ka..?”
:
Husband replied : “Typewriter mein kagaz Maine dala.., keys daba-daba kar mehnat Maine ki.., fir
chithi kiski..? typewriter ki, ya meri..?”
:
Frustrated Judge got mad on all this arguements..
he shouted -“Abay saale, agar tu chithi haath se hi likh leta.. toh yahan par custody ki naubat hi na aati.”
:
:
===============================================

ONE FOOTED

A girl got married..
On the wedding nighte his husband removed his Jaipur-Foot
and the girl noticed...
that her husband has only one leg.
.
.
She was very much depressed..
.
She messeged her friend- "O..re..,mai toh luut gayi.. my husband is one-footed.."
.
Immidiately her friend replied- "Relax baby.. and enjoy it cheerfully. My husband is just 8 inchs."
.
.
====================================

SILLY QUIZ

I lost that quiz in a silly manner when I was asked- 'What is oval shaped, quite wet and hair around it..'
Well..
The answer came out to be -An EYE
.
.
Again I was confused when I was asked- "What is that, that the women have two and the cows has four..?"
I wasso surprised to learn that the answer was sohow easy.
Yeah, the answer was "LEGS"
.
.
I lost the quiz just by 1 point..
the last question was- " Where do most women have curly hair..?"
Apparently.. the correct answer was "Africa.."
.
.
================================

CRICKETER'S DILLEMMA

And do u know about thAT well known cricketer..who became the brand ambassdor of ADIDAS..?
He tatooed the word ADIDAS on his erect penis..
.
His girl friend got horrified, when she saw his limp penis next day..
because it only read AIDS on it.
.
It was too hard for the nervous man to show her, the hidden letters of tatto..
.
.
=================================

KARAN AND SHAHRUKH

Karan was at the hair-dressers saloon, chatting to his stylist.
"My friend has bad dandruff" -he said.
The stylist said "Give him head and shoulders."
.
Karan went quiet.
.
After a few minutes of deep thought he said. . .
"But how can one give SHOULDERS..?"
.
.
=================================
.
.
"Sharukh, tum badey ho kar kya karna chahoge?" -Teacher asked in the class
"Ji, mai Himalay pe chadhunga" -ambitious Sharukh replied.
"Good," -teacher said- "aur Karan tum? tum kya karoge?
"Ji teacher, bada ho ke mai apna naam badal kar HIMALAY rakhna chahunga" -karan replied so innocently.
.
.
===================================
.
.
Karan was so amused and confused when Mallika proposed him for marraige,
He didn't know how to react..what to say.. what to ask..
.
At last he asked her- "Are u a virgin.. ?"
.
"yup, but only at back side" -bold Mallika replied and asked- "and what about u..?"
.
"Of course, me too. But only at front side" -Karan replied proudly.
.
.
===================================

ROGER DICKS

A football team loses their star player Roger Dicks, due to an injury.
.
Next day a headline reads: "Team to play without Dicks."
.
The manager calls up the newspaper
and objects,
so the editor changes the headline.
.
It now reads: "Team to play with Dicks out."
.
===============================

SOLAH SAAL KI UMAR MEIN..

Solah saal ki umar mein..
pehli baar kiya... toh khoon nikla..
dusri baar kiya... toh dard hua..
tisri baar kiya... tab bhi kuch jyada jamaa nahi..
chauthi baar kiya... toh kuch nahi hua.. sab thik thak hua..
.
.
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.
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.
.
.
dost, shaving karna koi aasaan baat nahi hai..! ;)
========================================

ABOUT THE PENIS

Why penis is so sad..?
.
.
bcoz..
... He is only one-eyed.
His hairstyle is a mess
Whenever he gets high, he has to vomit to become a sober guy, once again
His relatives are nuts..
and..
and..
His neighbour is an ass-hole..
.
.
===================================
.
.
Happiness is like penis;
It always looks small if u hold it in ur hands
but when u learn to share it...,
 u'll realize how big & precious it is..!
.
.
=====================================

RAAVAN KAUN..?

raavan kaisa tha ?
10 sar, 20 aankhe,
magar nazar sirf ek LADKI par..
... .
aur ham..
ek sar, do aankhe,
magar nazar har LADKE par..
.
.
to yeh bataao dosto..
ke asli raavan kaun..?
.
=======================================

DUSHAASHAN KAUN THA..?

Pappu ne 'mahabharat' serial dekhi hai iss baat ka pata chalte hi chintu ne usey puchha-
'toh chal ye bata 'dushaashan' kaun tha..?'
.
'dushaashan..?' -pappu bola- 'arey woh to ek chutiya tha..maha chutiya..!"
.
'abey, kyu..? chintu ne pucha..
.
'aur nahi to kya..' -pappu ne kash- 'saala, 2 episod tak saadi khinchta hi raha..khinchta hi raha..aur fir thakk ke baith gaya. sheee..! arrey yaar, wo saadi upar bhi to utha sakta tha.. utni akkal nahi thi kya usme..?"
.
.
========================================

HOW TO CONTACT ME

Frndz,
You can send ur feed back on my stories
to my email id: majash56@gmail.com

SIDE-EFFECTS OF DRUGS

.
.
College ke 2 ladke drugs lete hue pakde gaye..
dono pe police-case hua
aur court mein dono ko pesh kiya gaya.
.
Judge ne dono ladko ko dekha..
dono kaafi chhoti umar ke thhe..
judge ne dono ko ek-ek chance dena chaha..
.
usne dono ko ek paper aur ek pen diya
aur kaha -"iis par koi aisa message likho aur apne dosto ko padhaao.. taaki woh sab permanently drugs lena chhor de.. jitne ladko ko tum drugs lete rok paaoge, utne mahine ki tum dono ki kaid ki saza kam kar dunga.. ab agle mahine aana tum dono.. jaao..!"
.
.
ek mahine ke baad...
.
Judge ne pehle ladke ko puucha -tumne kitne ladko ko drugs se bachaya..?
Ladka: ji.. 12 ladko ko..
Judge: achcha hai.. magar yeh bataao tumne uus paper pe kya likha tha..
Ladka: ji maine aisa likha tha..
( . ) -tumhare dimaag ki size, drug lene se pehle
(.)   -tumhare dimaag ki size, drug lene ke EK SAAL BAAD
.
.
Judge ne dusre ladke se puchha- aur bata tu kitne ladko ko rok paya..?
ladka: ji.. 35 ladke ne drug lena chhor diya
judge: arey waah.. yeh toh bada achcha hai..magar tumhara msg kya tha..?
ladka: wohi tha jo mere iis dost ne likha tha..magar bas, thoda sa alag tha..
maine likha..
(.)   -tumhari gaand ke chhed ki size..drugs lene ke jurm mein jail jaane se pehle
( . ) -tumhari gaand ke chhed ki size..drugs lene ke jurm mein jail jaane ke EK SAAL BAAD

.
======================

Ek Gay Bande ki Confusion..

.
.
Ek gay banda tha.
...

teen ladko ke saath uska chakkar chal rha tha.
teeno hi ladke kaafi handsome thhe,
magr long-term relation kis'se rakhna chaiye iis maamle mein, uus bande ko confusion ho rahi thi.
waise kaafi rich banda tha, woh..
toh woh kaafi confused tha ke, kahiin aisa toh nahi yeh teeno uski daulat ko hi chaah rhe hai, aur usey nahi....
toh usne teeno ko 25-25 hazaar rupye dene ka decide diya, yeh dekhne ke liye, ke teeno ladke uun paiso ko kaise kharch karte hai.
.
Pehla ladke ne khud ke liye behtarin kapde, shoes, belt, etc kharide. Latest hair-colour, hairstyle, manicure, pedicure etc karwaai.
aur apna look totally change kar diya.
aur uus bande ko kahne laga- 'dear, maine sab paise kharch kiye so that mai aur be attractive lagu aap ko, because I love you so much..'
.
Dusra ladke ne ek achcha sa cel-fon kharida.
Fir cuff-links, Neck-Tie, aur ek Music-System le kar aaya
aur uus bande ko diye.
fir kehne laga- "meri taraf se aap ko yeh sab tohfe, mera pyar jatane ke liye.. magar yeh cheezein jitna pyar jataati hai, us'sey bhi jyada mai aap ko pyaar karta hu."
.
Teesre ladke ne share-market mein paise invest kiye..
Kuchh hi dino mein, paise double ho gaye.
toh uus bande ko uske 25 hazaar wapas lauta diye aur baaki paiso ka fir se safe-investment kar diye
fir us'sey kehne laga- Darling, maine baaki paise hamare achchey future ke liye invest kiye hai..I love you very much My Dearest..
.
.
Teeno ladko ne apni apni jagah sahi hai, aisa uus bande ko laga..
uski toh confusion aur bhi badh gayi
samaz mein nai aa rha tha, ke woh kis'se relation jaari rakhe.
.
usne socha..
.
.
khuub socha..
.
.
.
sochta hi raha..
.
.
.
.
aur aakhir usne uus ladke ke saath apna relation jaari rakhne ka decide kiya, jiska..
.
.
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.
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lund sabse bada tha.
.
================

SAHI TARIKA

.
.
Indrajeet Sinha ne aakhir haar kar, apne kiraayedaar Gul Tandel ke ghar jaane ka nischay kar
liya.
.
Andheri galiyo se pass hote hue, uske ghar pahuch kar usney darwaaza khatkhataya.
.
ek patli si jawan aurat ne darvaza khola
toh saamne Indrajeet ko dekhkar uska maao ke, muh latak gaya.
.
"tumhara pati hai ghar pe..?" Indrajeet ne pucha.
.
"nahi wo toh bahar gaya hai, kaam ki talaash mein" -aurat ne dhime swar me jawaab diya.
.
"Ma ka lauda.. ! kahi daru ke adde pe ja ke baitha hoga, haramzaada" -Indrajeet mann hi mann
badbadaya.
.
tabhi andar se bachchey roney ki aawaaz aayi.
.
"jaise hi wo aaye, use meri office me bhej dena. tum logo ko yaha rahne dene mein muje koi
dilchaspi nahi. samaj me aya kya?" -keh kar Indrajeet Sinha wahaan se chal pada.
.
Gul ki biwi, bebas nazro se kuchh der tak apne makaan-maalik ko jaate hue dekhti rahi
aur fir apne rotey hue bachche ko samhalne ke liye andar chali gayi.
.
.
.
.
Indrajeet apni office me aaya toh office ka staff ja chuka tha.
Akela baith kar kuch der tak aaine mein apne aap ko dekhta raha.
.
35 saal ki umar mein wo abhi bhi 29/30 ka hi lag raha tha.
Kaale ghunghraale baal, patli si muchhey, aur do din ki badhi daadhi uske dikhaave ko mardaana
tazgi baxti thi.
6.1" ki height aur 85kg vazan uske kasrati kasaavdaar badan ko thoda sa daraavna bana dete
thhe.
.
Par wo bhi toh zaruri tha.
warna ye machhimaar log toh usey kachcha chaba jaate.
.
Nadi ke kinaare pe kuch 4 saal pehle usne ye imaarat kharid li thi,
tab se usme rehne waale ye sabhi Tandel (fisherman) uske kiraayedaar bann gaye the.
.
Indrajeet apne office ki khidki se apne kiraayedaaro ko aate jaate dekhta raha.
Waise toh yeh log kisi tarah se apna kiraaya de hi dete thhe.
Koi waqt pe, toh koi der se.
Uski ek vajah ye bhi thi ke wo har mahine nahi,
har hafte ka kiraya leta tha.
aur iisi wajah se rakam thodi kam lagti thi toh vasulna bhi aasan ho jata tha.
Har mahine 2000 ki rakam unke liye mushkil thi par 500 rupaye dene me dikkat kam hoti thi
unhe.
Itna tha ke mahine me chaar baar chakkar ho jate thhe,
par waise bhi usey aur koi jyada kaam bhi toh nahi tha inn dino !
.
Tabhi darwaaza khula
aur Gul Tandel andar aaya.
Kuch der tak Indrajeet usey dekhta raha.
24 saal ka Gul, apni biwi aur bachche ke saath teen mahine se yaha kiraaye pe rehne ko aaya
tha.
Do mahine, yaani ke 8 hafta toh usne jaise taise kar ke kiraya de diya tha.
Bechare bivi-bachche wala hai aur paas me kaam nahi hai ye soch kar, uski be-waqti ko
Indrajeet ne nazar andaaz karta raha,
par pichhle 4 hafto se usne ek bhi futi kaudi bhi nahi di thi.
Tab ja ke Indrajeet ko uske ghar jana pada, kiraya vasulne ko.
.
"tumse kuch baat karni thi" -Indrajeet ne narm magar kafi tikhi zubaan me usse kaha.
.
"agar kiraaye ki baat hai toh saahab, mai aap se vaada karta hu ke sunday tak mai wo de
dunga" Gul bola.
Usey pashina chhut raha tha. "wo kya hai, bachcha bhi bimar hai aur.."
.
"abey, sab malum hai muje" -uski baat ko bich me hi todte hue Indrajeet bola- "pichhle 4 hafto
se aur koi nayi baat bhi toh nahi boli tuney, agle sunday tak tum apni jagah khaali kar dena"
.
"magar ham kaha jayenge..?"
.
"maa chudaao tum log, maine koi kherat-khana nahi khol ker rakkha"
.
Gul ne dekha ab koi tarika nahi apne makaan-malik ko samjaney ka.
Uski nazar ke saamne apni bivi bachche ki tasveer lehraani lagi.
.
"To fir mai kya karunga..?" usne mayusi se kaha.
.
"dekh dost,,mai tuje madad kar sakta hu, magar har cheez ke kimmat hoti hai." Indrajeet ne us
khubsurat mardana ladke se kaha.
.
"bataao..! kuch bhi..! magar paise ki baat toh abhi mushkil hai"
.
"mai tere chaar hafte ke kiraye ko maaf kar sakta hu, par muje ek favour chahiye..sex ki favour"
.
Duregesh ki aankho mein uske lund ka naach saaf nazar aane laga tha.
"meri bivi..? nahi.. ye toh na mumkin hai." Gul ne aankhe band kar ke is offer ko nakaar diya.
.
"koi baat nahi, raja," Indrajeet apni kursi se uth khada hua.
.
Gul khade khade hi, usey apne paas aate dekhta raha.
.
Indrajeet uske saamne aa khada hua aur apna haath pasaar ke Gul ki gaand pe rakha.
.
"Badhiya hai" Gul ki gaand dabaate hue wo bola.
.
"dekho, mai wo type ka nahi hu" Gul jijak ke bola.
.
"to mai kahaan bol raha hu, ke tu kis type ka hai? bas mai toh ek tarika aazma raha hu tumhare
karz ko fedne ka"
.
Indrajeet ne Gul ka haath pakad ke apne lund pe rakh diya aur usey dabaya.
Ab Gul ka haath Indrajeet ke haath ke nichey uske ke khade hue lund ko daba raha tha aur
Indrajeet pichey se uski gaand masal raha tha.
Gul kuch bhi nahi kar raha tha.
Wo chupchap, jo ho raha tha usey majburi se mehsus kartey hue bebas khada raha.
.
"dard bahut hoga?"  Kuchh der baad himmat bator kar wo bola..
jawan ladka kaafi ghabar raha tha.
.
"ek baar aadi ho jaoge fir bilkul nahi hoga" Indrajeet ne uska hausla badhate hue kaha.
.
"hmmm.." Gul sochta raha..aakhir ab usey apni family ke saath raaste pe nahi aana padega..
.
"to fir kab karna.."
.
"abhi...!" Indrajeet ne uski baat sun'ne pehle hi javab diya.
.
Gul se alag hokar usne darwaza aur khidki bandh ki.
Aur apni pant utaar di.
Gul chupchap dekhta raha.
Indrajeet ne apni underwear bhi utaar di aur apna fanfanata hua lauda haath mein pakad ke Gul
ke paas aa gaya.
.
Ladka uss mastaane mard ke lund ko dekhta raha.
Lamba aur chauda hathiyaar ko aankho se naapne laga.
Aakhir usey iss naag ko apni bil mein samhaalna padega.
.
"chalo apna jalva bhi toh dikhao.." Indrajeet ne Gul ke shirt ke button kholte hue kaha.
Uski chhati ekdam chikni thi bina baalo ki.
Indrajeet uski chuchiya dabaane laga.
Gul dard se kaharne laga.
.
"chal ab nichey waali dukaan ki baari hai. dekhe samaan kaisa hai andar"
Indrajeet ne Gul ki pant khol di
aur usey table ki aur ghuma diya.
fir aahista uski underwear ki elastic ko nichey kar diya..
ab ladke ki mast mulayam gaand uske nazar ko amrit pilane lagi.
.
"sahi me,  makkhan hai makhkhan, mere dost"
.
Fir Indrajeet ne darre hue ladke ko table pe jhuka diya
aur khud bhi jhuk kar uski gaand ki faank ko khol ke andar chhupe mulayam chhed ko chaatne
laga.
uska chhed gila ho ke thoda sa relax ho gaya.
Gul ne apni gaand uske muh pe dabayi taaki Indrajeet ko bhi pata chale ke usey iss prakriya
mein lutf mil raha hai.
.
Gul ne apne laude mein bhi thodi harkat mehsus ki.
usey aisi koi ummid nahi thi ke gaand ki chataayi se lauda bhi jaag jayega.
.
"Bete, terii ungliya apne muh mein ghusa ke rakh..shayad usey kaatne ka tumhe mann ho
jaye.." -keh kar usne Gul ki baukhlahat ka faaida uthatey huye uski gaand ke ched par apne
motay lund ke tagde supade ka dabaav diya.
iis se Gul ki gaand kuch bhinch si gayi.
Magar phir bhi Gul ki gaand mein Indrajeet ke lund ke jitna dam nahin tha.
Gul ki simti huyi silwatien uske lund ke zor ke saamne phailne lagi aur Indrajeet ke damdaar
lagatar dabaav ke kaaran uska supada dekhtey dekhtey Gul ke ched ka gahra sa chumban lete
huye uske ander ghusa toh ladke ki cheekh nikal gayi.
.
"chup be..! ma ke laude..kya teri nautanki dikhane ko public jama karni hai kya?" -Indrajeet ne
Gul ke muh pe apna haath dabaate hue kaha.
.
Gul ki nazron ke aagey toh duniya ghoomne lagi thi...
aur apni cheeri huyi gaand ke alava uske saamne uus samay kisi aur cheez ka dhyaan nahin
reh gaya tha...
uski gaand dard se dahakne lagi thi...
ab Indrajeet ne apna poora lund Gul ki gaand mein ghusa diya
toh uski gaand ekdam ander tak chhil gayi.
.
"Madarchod saala... meri tatti nikal kar rahega.." Gul dard se karahte hue sochne laga.
.
‘Sahi mein mast tight hai.." -Indrajeet bola- "lagta hai pehli baar hai"
.
Indrajeet andar apna khanzar ghusa ke do pal ke liye thahar gaya.
Fir apne lund ko ahista ahista ander bahar karna shuru kiya.
uske dhakkon mein taqat thi.
Uske har dhakkey pe Gul halke se cheekh deta uska sar ghoom raha tha.
Usey laga ki usne gaand marvane ka faisla kar ke bahut badi ghalti kar di thi...
kuch der mein toh Gul apni gaand ke muscles ka control bilkul kho baitha...
aur phir jab Indrajeet ne dhakke dena jaari rakha, tab ekdum se uski tatti bhi chhoot gayi..
aur jo, bas ab Indrajeet ke lund ke karan hi Gul ki gaand mein phansi rahi...
.
Ek baar Indrajeet ne apna lund pura bahar nikala toh wo hans pada.
-"bachchey ki toh tatti bhi ho gayi"
.
Usne aahista se apna solid danda fir andar ghusaya.
Ab gaand ki anduruni diwaare chikni ho chuki thi
toh lund aasani se andar fisalne laga.
Kaam aur bhi aasaan ho gaya.
.
Kuchh der baad Gul ka dard kam honey laga.
Uus ko laga ke Indrajeet ka lund, ab usi ke badan ka ek hissa ban gaya tha.
Pehlewala darr ekdam gaayab ho gaya tha.
Ab toh, uske dil par bhi vaasna ka jaadu chhane laga tha. 
Makaan malik ko is badlaav ka ehsaas hua..
toh uske dhakka aahista aahista badhne lage.
.
Is'sey Gul ka badan bhi machalne laga.
Uske laude ne harkat dikhana shuru kar diya.
Wo dhire dhire kadak hone laga.
Par Gul iis baat se bilkul bekhabar tha.
Wo toh iss naye prakaar ke romaanch se bahelne laga.
Zindagi mein kabhi jiska ehsaas na tha waisa romaanch tha yeh.
Uske toh rongte khade hone lage ab.
Dono taraf aag barabar lag chuki thi aur dono ek dusre toh sahi prakaar se respons dene lage.
Lund bahar nikalta toh gaand bhi pichhey hat'ti.
Lund andar ghusta toh gaand bhi aur aage aa jaati.
Maano apne man-chaahe mehmaan ko welcome karne ke liye utaavali ho gayi ho.
.
Jawaan chikne mast ladke ki garm masti ko, ek asli desi lund kab tak jhel sakta. 
Indrajeet ke lund ka supada ab fulne laga.
Tattey bhi maano gaand mein ghusna chahte ho waise upar uth aaye aur lund se chipak gaye.
Aur Indrajeet ne ek..do..teen..chaar..paach..chheh.. saat zordaar pichkaari gaand mein chood di.
Uske mardaana jism ki sab taqat, maano uske maal ke zariye khatm ho gayi ho, waise wo Gul
pe apna pura vazan daal ke nidhaal ho gaya aur haamfne laga.
.
Kuch der baad usne apne lund bahar nikala
aur toilet mein ja kar usey dho kar aa gaya.
Usne Gul ko dhire se khada kiya aur toilet ki taraf ishara kiya.
.
Jaise Gul khada hua aur toilet ki aur badha toh Indrajeet ne uska khada, kadak lund dekha.
"Waah, bivi ke liye ghar le jaane ke liye ek badhiya sa tohfa" Indrajeet muskuraya.
.
Toilet ke seat pe baith kar Gul apni tatti ke saath wo sab mardana maal ka bhi nikaal karne
laga.
Wo baithe baithe sochne laga -" haan yaar, maan'na padega..! saale ko sahi tarike se malum
tha ke maza kaise liya jaaye aur diya bhi jaaye. Gul Tandel gaand mein lund le raha hai.. kaun
manega ye baat..? haha.. "
.
Jaise hi wo toilet se bahar aaya ke Indrajeet ne uske haath mein receipt de di. 
-RECEIVED RENT IN FULL. NO DUES PENDING"
.
Ladke ne thodi sharm-o-jijak ke saath wo receipt le li.
Aur apne ghar jane laga.
.
Raat ko uus andhere gande se ghar mein jab Gul ne apni bivi ko chodna shuru kiya
toh uski bivi ko laga jaise uska pati koi aur hi mard hai.
Duniya bhar ki masti aur uttejana uske pati ke badan mein bhari hui thi.
Chetna se bharpuur, uska lund apne sab kartab dikha raha tha.
Aur uski bivi bhi ji bhar ke har kartab ka lutf utha rahi thi,
magar apne pati ke mann mein chal rahe khayalo se bilkul anjaan thi.
Uska pati to, kuchh der pehle hue haadse ko apne mann mein dohara raha tha, jis'se uske lund
mein kaafi jaan bharti ja rahi thi.
.
Pichhle do saalo mein Bivi ke saath sex ka khel kabhi itni maza nahi de paya tha, jo usey aaj
mil raha hai.
Usne apna pura maal bivi ki buur mein bhar diya.
Waise bhi ye 24 saal waali umar hi waisi hoti hai, ke lund ka juice bharpur maatra mein paida
hota hai,
par yeh jaroori nahi, ke wo sab maal ek baar mein hi khali ho jaaye.
Tatte ko ek hi round mein puri tarah khaali karne ke liye mann ko pura aanand milna chaiye, jo
use aaj mil raha tha, pichhle haadse ko yaad kar kar ke.
Aur isi wajah se uske tatte bhi, ek hi baar mein apna pura khazana khaali karne ko raazi ho
gaye. ek bachcha paide kar ke uski bivi ki choot, jo ke kaafi khuli aur gehri ho chuki thi, wo bhi
puri tarah bhar ja ke overflow honey lagi, utna maal Gul ke lund se ubhar pada.
.
Uski bivi ne shaadi ke baad pehli baar apna orgasm, apni climax ko mehsus kiya.
Apne pati ki aaj ki is kaam-kala se wo uus pe kurbaan ho gayi.
Usey apna pati ab aur bhi pyaara lagne laga.
.
.
.
.
Agle hafte...
.
Shaam ko saat baje ke aaspaas Gul jab Indrajeet ki Office mein gaya,
Inderjeet akela tha.
Indrajeet apne is mastane kiraayedaar ko office ke khidki-darwaza bandh karta dekh, us'se
puchh baitha -ye kya kar rahe ho..?
.
"Apna kiraaya chukta kar raha hu.."- Gul ne apne pant ke button kholte hue kaha.
.
Indrajeet muskura utha.
.
Uus din ke baad kabhi bhi, Indrajeet ko Gul ke ghar, kiraya vasulne ko jana nahi pada.
Wo regularly aa aa ke apna 'payment' kar jata tha..
.
Usey ab SAHI TARIKA jo mil gaya tha, ghar ka kiraya chukaane ka...
.
======================================

Interviews of Porn Star -Jesse Santana

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Interview of Porn Star -Nick Sterling

~ Interviews with Gay Porn Stars (1) ~
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With Nick Sterling -by Ben Campbell
Monday, February 20, 2012
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(Most people are surprised to learn that Nick Sterling..with his charming smile and cheery personality..has an enormous sexual appetite and a penchant for dirty sex. He’s adventurous in all things outside and inside the bedroom, and admits he is sometimes hesitant to talk about what he does behind closed doors for fear of scaring guys away.
Nick Sterling started appearing in adult films in his early 20s. He did a few videos but then stopped to pursue a career in the ‘real world.’
He says he didn’t want to have to rely on the industry for subsistence.
About two years ago, though, he felt the call to return to porn.
He began filming with RandyBlue, (the famous gay porn film studio) where his deep groans, nasty talk and bubble butt made him a fan-favorite.
He has shot eight flip-flop films with the studio so far and promises he has many more left in him. (flip-flop means sex-session in which both the guys fucks each other. Both are tops and both are bottoms.)

.
Here's a talk with him..
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While growing up, were you a jock, anerd or a burn-out..?
--------I was the outcast. I was angry, ostracized, misunderstood. Pretty expected for a gay kid finding his identity.
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When did you know you had a wild, gay side?
--------I probably began to suspect it was there in my early 20s, and then fully embraced to it about three and a half years ago, after my first Black-Party experience, which was incredible. That.. a sort of..opened my eyes to what I had been missing.
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What’s the piggiest, dirtiest thing you like to do?
--------Spitting in a boy’s mouth..while I’m fucking him..is always hot. That’s not the piggiest, but it’s one of my favorites. The other would have to be reaching between a boy’s legs and grabbing him by the balls while I’m pounding him from behind, keeping a tight grip on them and using them to control him.
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Would people at home be surprised to know what you’ve been doing?
--------I don’t think they would be surprised. A few knew already as it’s a small town.
.
What do you do to make each film different?
--------Each scene is as different as the partner I am with. I try to find something especially sexy about the guy with whome I am working, I try to find an aspect of him that is super hot and which turns me on. I try to use that to create a passionate and energetic connection that hopefully translates to the video that comes out of it.
.
Do you work to improve on each scene?
--------I definitely try to improve on each scene to make it better than the one before. I am proud of all the scenes that I have shot with Randy Blue so far. I think that they all reflect that Sterling standard. [Laughs]
.
What celebrity do you think you most resemble?
--------People used to tell me that I looked like a young Christian Slater. That was a while ago, though. Maybe it was just the attitude.
.
Anyone ever tell you look a little like Corey Feldman?
--------Corey Feldman? Really? 
.
On a very good day, of course.
--------No, never. Not cool, dude.
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How about Blake Lewis?
--------Who is Blake Lewis?
.
The American Idol beatboxer. You guys could be brothers. isn't it..?
--------Again, no.
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What are you attracted to in a partner?
--------Strength of character and a unique personality. Someone with vitality and energy, a sense of humor, emotional intelligence and an understanding and compassionate nature. Also, a big dick and hot ass which don’t get hurt.
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Do you like them younger or older?
--------I like guys that are about six-to-seven years my elder or junior. So I guess 20-34 is my age range, though there are exceptions to every rule.
.
What do you think of People magazine naming Bradley Cooper the sexiest man alive?
--------Who is Bradley Cooper? I ignore popular media as a general rule. Let me Google him. ... Oh, he is hot. Very handsome.
.
What mainstream celeb would you name as sexiest alive?
--------Hmmm, good question, and difficult. Gerard Butler is right up there. So is Hugh Jackman, Brad Pitt, Christian Bale and, of course, James Dean. I can’t pick just one, but those are my top five.
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Can we play top/bottom? I’ll name a celebrity, and you tell me whether you would be top or bottom with him and why. ok..?
--------Sure, let’s play.
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First one: Lance Bass..?
--------Pass. Do you really have to ask why?
.
 Zac Efron..?
--------Top, because I love to mount a pretty boy.
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Neil Patrick Harris..?
--------Flip. He looks like he could give it or take it, pretty well.
.
Andy Cohen..?
--------Bottom, but only if he’s packing. I like to top younger guys and bottom for bigger guys, but I’m more picky about tops.
.
You’re pretty vocal, pretty loud in bed. Is that just on-screen?
--------I am more vocal on-screen than off, but I definitely talk a lot dirtier when the cameras are off.
.
Have you always been a screamer?
--------Do I scream? I didn’t realize I did. I think of it more as moaning, but I guess it gets kinda loud at times.
.
Do you prefer your partner be vocal or silent?
--------I like a partner that is somewhat quiet, but also moans enough to let me know how hard to go. I like watching and hearing a guy react while he’s taking it in, hard, but unnecessary talk is a turn off. Dirty talk is an art. You should do it very well or not at all.
.
What’s been your most memorable scene?
--------That would have to be the first scene that I did with Brett for Randy Blue, because I was so excited for it, and also because it was extra hot, fucking him in the gym with my kicks on.
.
Last question: Manhunt or Grindr? (both are social websites for gays)
--------Manhunt, because Grindr sucks for Droid Phones. No offense, guys.
.
==============================

Interview of Porn Star -Andrew Jakk

~ Interviews with Gay Porn Stars (2) ~

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With Andrew Jakk

Interview By Tuck Manning

Monday, October 17, 2011
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.
(One of the newest, and cutest guys on the 'Falcon-Studios', Andrew Jakk hasn’t been around for long. but still..he is quickly making his mark.
This fuzzy blonde bottom is exactly what you’d expect from the likes of 'Falcon', a studio that for 40 years has released high-quality films for gay men to enjoy.
You can catch Jakk in a couple different 'Falcon' and 'Raging Stallion' releases,
but most anticipated is his scene in the upcoming movie 'The Guys Next Door',
it's a film that’s set to be released this month.
Our crew sat down with this porn ‘ingenue’ to discuss how he broke into the industry, how his personal sex life compares to his porn persona’s—you might be surprised—and which fellow porn actor he considers to be his ideal partner.)
.
.
Here's what he answered..
.
.
Where did you grow up, and where do you call home today?
---------I grew up in the same place where I currently reside today, which is in a suburb of Detroit. I have lived here my whole life and am currently in my last semester of college at a local university, where I will earn a Bachelor’s in Public Administration.
.
What was it that initially attracted you to the porn industry?
---------I decided to start working out and build muscle, because I wanted to model. I watched porn and noticed all the hot guys in it. So I decided to submit a few applications and see what happened. From there it’s history. 
.
Tell me a little about how you were discovered.
---------I filled out an application to Falcon and got a response right away. So in April I did my first shoot and really enjoyed it. The crew was wonderful and they really made me feel comfortable. A month later I was booked for a couple more shoots, and they were impressed with my performances. Adam Robinson, who discovered me at Falcon, thought I had the true Falcon look that has been so distinguished over the years, and he said that they had been looking for someone of my potential for a couple years. So Adam came to me with an exclusive contract offered by Chris Ward, the president of Falcon Studios. In July I was officially signed with Falcon.
.
What was your very first scene and how did it go?
---------My first scene was interesting, to say the least. It was a three-way, which I had never done before. It was with Austin Wilde and Johnny Torque. As many know, Austin is very well-endowed a big-dick guy, and I hadn’t had sex with anyone for about six months prior to the scene, so it took some time getting used to it. As Austin tweeted recently, it’s his most-viewed scene on his website, so it must be pretty good. [Laughs] I recently just did another scene with Johnny Torque for Guys Next Door: Part 1, which will be released Oct. 24.  
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Let’s talk about The Guys Next Door. What can you tell us about the upcoming film and your scene in particular? 
---------Chris Ward actually asked me to be in both movies for The Guys Next Door, so I was very excited for the opportunity. In Part 1 I’m with Johnny Torque, and in Part 2 I’m with Trystan Bull. Johnny Torque is a great guy to work with and made things very comfortable for me. I think Trystan is one of the sexiest guys alive—I was extremely attracted to him and actually requested to be put with him. I was told he was straight, but he ended up saying he was ‘flexible’ and said I was very cute and very much his type of guy to work with. He was such a gentleman to work with, and he kept checking on me to make sure I was comfortable. The ending of my scene with him was extremely hot, and you can probably tell from the cover shot how it ends. If I was to date anyone in porn, it would be Trystan. I wish he liked guys! [Laughs]
.
How does your personal sex life compare to/differ from your porn persona’s sex life? 
---------I actually have had more sex in porn than in my personal life. Since I started porn, I haven’t had sex outside of a scene. Sex is a big deal for me, so separating my work from my personal life can be hard to handle at times. 
.
Care to tell us about your earliest sexual experience?
---------My earliest sexual experience was not fun at all and one that I try to forget, since it was with my first ex—who was a hot mess to say the least. [Laughs]
.
And what’s the wildest sex story you care to share?
---------I really don’t have any wild sex stories. Maybe this question will have an answer in the next year—stay tuned. 
.
How would you describe your ideal sex partner?
---------My ideal sex partner would be Trystan Bull. [Laughs] But besides him, I would like the guy to be in shape and muscular. Have good teeth and a great smile. Have a charming personality, like to laugh and have a good time. He needs to be romantic but then at times be dominant when it comes to sex. And he needs to be someone that I can trust. 
.
What do you like to do in your spare time, away from the camera? 
---------In my spare time I like to go to coffee shops, dance, go to the movies, hang out with friends and shop. I love shopping for shoes and new clothes. I’m not too big on partying and going to clubs—it’s just not my scene. But I do like to dance at clubs, so appearances are always fun. I also enjoy my time with my dog Austin. 
.
Is there anything your fans might be surprised to learn about you?
---------I’m not sure if it’s a surprise, but like I said, that I’ve been with more guys in porn than in my personal life. I have been with about 12 guys in porn, and in my personal life I’ve been with four. Of the four guys I’ve been with, three were while we were in a relationship. I’m not one that likes to hookup and am more of a relationship type of guy. So if you think you have what it takes, don’t be afraid to message me. 
.
.
==============================

Interview of Porn Star -Blue Kennedy

~ Interviews with Gay Porn Stars (3) ~

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With Blu Kennedy -By Tuck Manning.  Photos by Kevin McDermott,
Friday, September 30, 2011
.
.
(The most famous red-head in the gay porn industry, Blu Kennedy might have started out eight years ago as a ginger twink, but he’s all man these days. He’s known for giving consistently stellar performances, having appeared in a slew of films for Hot-House-Entertainment, Citiboyz, Falcon-Studios and others. We sat down to talk with Kennedy about some of his experiences in front of and away from the camera. He also drops a pretty big bomb on us—it turns out that he’s done working in porn and has decided to call it quits. Read on to find out why he’s leaving the industry, which films were his favorite to shoot and which industry hunk he’s had a crush on for years.
.
Here's what he said..
.
.
What was it that initially attracted you to the porn industry?
--------I wasn’t a very attractive teenager. I didn’t have a very good self-image, and porn was sort of a validation for me.
.
Were you discovered, and if so, how did that happen?
--------In a round-about way, yes, I was. There was this guy that sent me a message on Gay.com. I think I was about 18. He claimed to be a photographer for freshmen magazine, and asked me if I’d be interested in doing a photoshoot. It turned out that he was only taking pictures for himself, not for freshmen, but I was naive. It did, however, give me the confidence to send my pictures to a few studios.
.
Tell me the origin of your on-camera name.
--------I came up with my first name. It was my grandfather’s name. The last name came from a director on one of the first movies which I did.
.
What was your very first scene, and how did it go?
--------[Laughs] My first scene was for Citiboyz. It was a like a bad dream. They took about five or six of us with them, all about 18/19, out to Las Vegas for a week, and it was just like being in summer camp. Everything we did the entire week—even when not filming—was planned out for us, and we were treated just like children. We weren’t allowed any freedom for that week. The pay was terrible, too, but it was my first time shooting porn and I didn’t know any better.
.
What has been your favorite film to shoot?
--------Hot House has been the best I’ve worked with. And any of the scenes I’ve done with Kyle King have been my favorite. I’ve had a crush on him for the longest time.
.
Oh, really? Does Kyle King know that you’ve had a crush on him, or is he going to be finding out when this interview hits the streets?
--------I think he does, but if he didn’t before, he does now! [Laughs]
.
How does your personal sex life compare to your porn persona’s sex life?
--------Well, I certainly don’t have sex for six hours at a time. [Laughs] But when I’m having sex on-camera, its not “acting”—if I’m looking like enjoying it, I really am enjoying it.
.
Will you care to tell us about your earliest sexual experience?
--------Uh, I think when I was about five years old. I used to mess around with my cousin when I was a kid.
.
Wow, you started early..! [Laughs] Do you watch your own films?
--------No. I’m super self-critical.
.
What do you like to do in your spare time, away from the camera?
--------Well, I have a regular job, I go to the gym, spend time with my friends.
.
--------Tell me something about yourself that our readers and the general public wouldn’t know.
I’m pretty introverted. I’ve never been comfortable with being recognized in public.
.
Now, I hear you have quite a big announcement for our readers.
--------Yeah, I finally decided that I’m done for good.
What are your reasons for leaving the industry?
--------I’ve taken breaks before, but I’ve never had the resolve to stop for good until now. I’ve been doing this for eight years, and I think it’s just time to move on and focus on other things. Believe it or not, employers don’t take me seriously after they find out that I’ve done (a lot of) porn. And porn is not and never was a “career”—it was just something I did for fun. It also has been an issue with almost my every boyfriend.
.
What exactly has been the issue?
--------It’s a complicated issue. It usually starts out that they are aware that I have done porn, and that doesn’t bother them. But then, over time, they begin to see how people interact with me and treat me, and that I’m constantly getting attention, and eventually they have distdain for anything to do with that part of my life.
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Do you think that most guys in the porn-industry deal with similar relationship issues? Do you know any guys who’ve been able to make it work successfully?
--------You would think that as long as I’ve been doing this I am keeping in contact with friends in the industry, but I don’t, so I can’t speak for other porn stars.
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Is there anything you’re going to miss about making films?
--------[Laughs] No.
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Not even having sex with some of the industry’s hottest guys?
--------[Laughs] I haven’t had a problem having sex with hot porn stars outside of filming, so I don’t foresee having that problem in the future. And sex behind the camera is 10 times better than sex on camera.
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How are you going to be spending your time instead?
--------Finishing school (finally) and trying to start my career.
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Well, we wish you the best of luck, buddy, and thanks for eight years of hot videos..!
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Interview of Porn Stars -Rosso Twins

~ Interviews with Gay Porn Stars (4) ~

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Interview of Rosso Twins (Twin-Brothers) -By Tuck Manning
Monday, January 23, 2012
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(The Rosso-Twins are the real deal. Luca and Liam Rosso are gorgeous identical twins who clearly have no reservations with getting naked and sweaty in front of each other, despite being brothers. In fact, the duo has made quite a name for itself, thanks to a couple of Channel-1 Releasing films, already under their collective belt.
You may have caught the twins’ adult feature film debut in 'Brother-Fucker', a best-seller for the studio, or their latest film to hit the stands, Spitting Image: 'Twin Trouble'. An as-yet-untitled project is currently in the works.
To make matters even more interesting, Liam is straight and Luca is gay. And as we know from last issue’s ‘10 Things You Didn’t Know About Us,’ Liam plays the bottom of the two.
Our crew sat down with Luca and Liam to discuss their entry into the adult film industry, their personal boundaries-limits once the cameras turn on, and how their personal sex lives compare with those of their porn personas.)
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Here it goes..
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Q.) Let’s get things straight for our readers right off the bat. You guys are identical twin brothers. You really are brothers, and one is gay, the other straight. Is that right?
Luca: Yup, that’s correct.
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Q.) While growing up, were you guys always interested in watching porn..? Do you consider yourselves particularly sexual guys..?
Luca: Yeah, very, very sexual.
Liam: Me too. You know what..? they say, every seven seconds a man thinks about sex.
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Q.) Have you ever, or do you ever, watch porn together, or are your tastes in porn too different..?
Luca: Well, I watch gay guys and he watches straight porn.
Liam: On the set I don’t need porn. I just go into my head. It’s a lot dirtier there.
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Q.) Was there something that initially attracted you two to working in the porn industry? Did the desire to work in porn come first, or did the initial offer to work in porn spark your interest..?
Liam: I have fun with Luca, because we crack a lot of jokes, which tends to get on people’s nerves, especially Chi Chi LaRue, [the Producer/Director.]
Luca: I thought it would be fun, and of course the money, surely is nice.
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Q.) Tell me the story about how you guys were discovered and the process of teaming up with Channel 1 Releasing.
Luca: We first started with Fratmen, and then we decided to branch off and work with bigger studios like Channel-1.
Liam: And Chi Chi has worked with some of my favorites, like Tera Patrick and Jenna Jameson.
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Q.) What was you guys’ very first scene, and how did it go?
Liam: It was a bathroom scene with another set of twins, a little weird, but sexy at the same time.
Luca: It went really well. It was a lot of fun. The other twins were really great guys.
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Q.) Has working in porn been everything you thought it would be?
Liam: And more, like doing gigs in Vegas with Chi Chi.
Luca: Yeah, the gigs are amazing.  I didn’t realize how many fans we had, after doing 'Brother Fucker'. Meeting them all in person has been surreal.
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Q.) What’s different than what you expected, and what didn’t you expect?
Luca: It was so comfortable, especially with Chi Chi, and working with Brent Everett was a huge plus.
Liam: Yeah, a lot of people think doing porn would be a ‘bad scene,’ but it wasn’t that way at all with Channel-1.
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Q.) When working on a film, do you guys have any personal boundaries with what you will and won’t do on-camera, or is everything fair game?
Liam: We don’t ‘mess around’ with each other.
Luca: We’ll be in the same room with each other, but that’s it. Well, we do touch each other.
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Q.) Have you guys had a favorite co-star or favorite scene?
Liam: I had one with 'Corbin Fisher' with a girl named Jenna. As for guys, I really liked Connor Maguire in 'Spitting Image'. He was really cool. I had a hard time taking his huge dick at first. He’s a big guy. But later, it was all good.
Luca: With Brent Everett (In Chi Chi LaRue’s 'Brother Fucker'). Oh my God, he’s hot. One of the few models I’ve ever been wildly attracted to. If he didnd’t have a boyfriend, I’d be the first in line.
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Q.) How do your personal sex lives compare or differ to your porn personas’ sex lives?
Luca: I’m so lucky I’m the gay one.  I have a much better time getting guys, than Liam has with the chicks.
Liam: Women are much more difficult.
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Q.) What were you guys’ earliest sexual experiences?
Luca: Are you asking when I lost my virginity? [Laughs] Well, 15 with a girl. I messed around with my first guy at 17.
Liam: I lost mine at 18 to a girl. My gay-cherry was lost on a porn set.
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Q.) Any particularly wild sex stories you guys care to share?
Luca: The most wild is when I’m doing like a train. My straight twin bro is in front getting rammed and I’m fucking the guy in the back. So hot..!
Liam: One day we’re gonna reverse that. [Both laugh]
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Q.) Are either of you in relationships?
Luca: Nope, not at the moment, but I’m always on the hunt.
Liam: We both just got out of relationships.
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Q.) Have either of you had to deal with the difficulties associated with maintaining a relationship while working in porn?
Luca: A few, because they consider it cheating, but I’m not gonna do that.
Liam: Actually, the girls I do find tend to be really OK with the porn.
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Q.) How open are you guys about your adult film career..to friends, family and others?
Luca: We don’t talk about it with our parents, but we will if the need comes up.
Liam: But our other brothers know.  Our older brother wanted to do porn with us, but he gave up on it, because he’s in a relationship.
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Q.) Where do you guys see yourselves in the coming five years?
Luca: I’d like to be a business owner.
Liam: But porn on the side. [Both laugh]
Luca: And hopefully I’ll have done a scene with Seth Knight, and of course more movies for Chi Chi LaRue and Channel-1.
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My Twelve Days of Christmas

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On the first day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
A load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the second day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the third day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
Three low moans,
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the fourth day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
Four gasps of joy,
Three low moans,
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the fifth day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
Five forceful thrusts!
Four gasps of joy,
Three low moans,
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the sixth day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
A six minute fucking.
Five forceful thrusts!
Four gasps of joy,
Three low moans,
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the seventh day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
Seven stronger shoves,
A six minute fucking.
Five forceful thrusts!
Four gasps of joy,
Three low moans,
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the eigth day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
Eight gentle pushes,
Seven stronger shoves,
A six minute fucking.
Five forceful thrusts!
Four gasps of joy,
Three low moans,
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the ninth day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
Nine rigid inches,
Eight gentle pushes,
Seven stronger shoves,
A six minute fucking.
Five forceful thrusts!
Four gasps of joy,
Three low moans,
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the tenth day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
Ten minutes fingering,
Nine rigid inches,
Eight gentle pushes,
Seven stronger shoves,
A six minute fucking.
Five forceful thrusts!
Four gasps of joy,
Three low moans,
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
Eleven tongue lappings,
Ten minutes fingering,
Nine rigid inches,
Eight gentle pushes,
Seven stronger shoves,
A six minute fucking.
Five forceful thrusts!
Four gasps of joy,
Three low moans,
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My brother gave to me...
Twelve tender kisses,
Eleven tongue lappings,
Ten minutes fingering,
Nine rigid inches,
Eight gentle pushes,
Seven stronger shoves,
A six minute fucking.
Five forceful thrusts!
Four gasps of joy,
Three low moans,
Two balls against my ass,
And a load of jism deep inside me..!
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