HAPPY BIRTHDAY (9)

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"Saurav, Sandip ne kaha, "dekho Suman ka bhai hone ke naate, kal raat agar tum usko support karte, toh wo quite natural hota. Magr tumne Suman ka saath dene ke badle, muje cover kiya, dat's quite confusing and abnormal. What do u say? "
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Saurav ek pal dono ko dekha,
fir apne dono paav faila kar, kursi mein thoda niche sarak ke, relax hokar baith gaya aur bola-
"toh Jeeju, now let me tel u ke maine aap ka saath q diya. Aap dono ko cover q kiya. uski ek hi wajah hai.."
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"Savrav" -Sandip ne kabse apne dil mein khelte sawal ko pesh kiya- "by any chance, u too are a.. ?"
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Suunkar Saurav muskuraya.
"Well, no ! I'm not a gay.."
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"Oh, ..Sandip kuch bol nahi paya. "toh fir.. kal raat tumne jo mera saath diya..."
Sandip aage puchh nahi paya..wo kaafi confused jo tha..
Aur waise bhi waiter unke table ki aur aa rha tha.
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"Well jeeju, kal raat aap dono ko kissing position mein dekh kar, ek pal ke liye toh muje bhi bahut gussa aa gaya tha. meri bhi reaction shayad didi ke jaise hi hoti.
Magr fir, achanak mai samhal gaya. sochne laga..
kya haansil hoga meri didi ko, agar maine uska saath diya to..?
kya bitegi uuspar ?
usey rota-bilakhta toh dekh toh chuka tha mai.
aur bhi bahot kuchh beet sakta haa uus bechari par.
She can even suffer a lot..
Mental pressure, depression, akelapan, udaasi..and what not..?
possibly aap dono ka break-up bhi..!
uuska basa-basaya ghar, muje patto ke mahel ke jaise, tut'ta hua nazar aaney laga..
Aur aap dono mardo ko 'uus' position mein dekhne ke baad, aap chahe kitni bhi safaai dete, didi kisi tarah se bhi, convinced honey waali nahi thi.
Agar uus waqt, uus kamre me, didi ko koi convince kar sakta tha, toh woh tha, sirf mai.
Agar mai yeh keh du, ke usne jo dekha hai, woh sab juth hai, ek naatak hai, toh hi baat bigadne se bach sakti thi.
Sirf ek ya do pal mein hi muje yeh decision lena tha, ke muje kaise pesh aana hai, normally ya abnormally
and believe me Jeeju, normally khilkhilaate hue pesh aana..it wasn't so easy for me. muje apna saara gussa ek ya do seconds mein hi, apne aap mein sametna pada tha.
Aur maine apne dimaag ko thanda rakh kar, woh decision le liya..
a very quick decision,
kyu ke muje didi ko khush dekhna tha..har haalat me..by hook or by crook..
aur iis'se pehle ke aap baukhla kar apni reality, apna sach, confess kar dete...maine situation ko apne control mein le liya..
muje ek jhuth ka sahara bhi lena tha..aisa juth, jo didi ko convince kar de.
magar iis ke liye aap ki side lekar aapko innocent prove karna jaruri tha.
muje manzoor tha aap ki side lena, kyo ke us'sey meri didi ki khushiya bar-karaar rehnewali thi. Aur dusri ek vajah yeh bhi thi..."
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Saurav bolte bolte ruuk gaya.
Shayad thakk chuka tha, woh itna bolkar
Usney apni coffee ki ek aur sip li, apne sukhte galey ko raahat dene ke liye.
Tabhi Pramod aur Sandip ko bhi, apni coffee continue karne ka yaad aaya.
Dono mein se koi bhi, kuch bolkar Saurav ke tempo ko todna nahi chaahte thhe,
toh ek pal ke liye, total silence ne kabza kar liya, unke table par.
"Aur dusri ek aur vajah yeh bhi thi, aap ka saath dene ki" -Saurav ne fir shuru kiya- "ke though I'm not gay, but still, I'm quite close to many gay guys.
Aur iisliye, kisi gay bande ki mental condition ko mai achchi tarah pehchanta hu.
Any gay guy, chaahe woh kitna bhi, apni iis feeling ko daba kar rakhe, magr sahi saathi, aur sahi mauka milne par, wo jaag hi jaati hai, I know that.
Agar aap ke birthday par aapki biwi aapko ditch karke, do chaar raato ke liye aapko akela chhor de, toh fir, having studied the mentalities of the gay guys, i can understand, ke aapne jo kuch bhi kiya, definitely woh sahi toh tha hi nahi, magar natural toh tha hi.
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fir puri khamoshi chha gayi, table par
Saurabh ab bol chuka tha.
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iis purey bayaan ke darmiyaan, Sandip aur Pramod dono ki aankhe, ek pal ke liye bhi, Saurav par se hat'ti nahi thi.
Usme, uun dono mardo ko, apna sachcha hamdard nazar aane laga tha..
aisa hamdard, jo unn jaise gay bando ke mann ko achchi tarah samazta tha, aur saath hi saath, apni behan ki khushi aur dard ko bhi puri tarah jaanta tha.
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"magar Saurav," kuchh der baad Sandip bola, "ham dono ko ek saath dekhne ke baad, tumko jo shock laga tha, uus shock ko hazm karke apne aap ko samhal lena, fir apni didi ki haalat ko dekh kar disturb hona, fir ham dono ki asliyat pe gaur karna aur usey bhi samajna, aur fir..aur fir kiska saath du aur kiska nahi, iis baat ki kashmkash.. itni saari baato ki confusion hona, aur fir uus confusion ko solve kar ke timely right decision lena.. itna sab kuchh..?
aur woh bhi.. just within 1 or 2 minutes..? my god..!
aur fir..aur fir apni didi ko kya kehna hai, uska plan bhi banana..
itna saara..aur sirf itne kam waqt me..! unbelievable..!
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"but jeeju, aapko cover karne ka decision lene ke baad, muje 20-30 seconds aur mil gaye thhe, hall se bedroom tak jate samay..
uus waqt darmyaan, didi ko kya keh ke convince karna hai, usi direction mein mera dimaag, badi tezi se daud raha tha.
And by the time, ham bedroom pahuche maine kafi kuchh soch rakha tha.."
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20-30 seconds ke badle, maano 20-30 ghante ka waqt mila ho, waise pesh kar raha hai, Saurav, -Sandip sochne laga- Khud ki itni badhiya presence of mind ka, usey bilkul gurur nahi nahi. Kitna humble ladka hai yeh, Saurav.
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"ok. lekin that requires a hell lot of presence of mind. I can't believe.. itne kam waqt me.." Sandip usey admire karte hue bol utha.
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"jeeju, aapko toh pata hai, ke mai isi subject 'Human Psychology' mein hi PhD kar raha hu.
After understanding various person's nature, saamne wale dil par honewale reactions ko dhyaan mein rakhte hue, aur aanewale consequences ka khayal bhi, rakhte hue, sahi conclusions pe aana, aur usey quickly implement bhi karna..
yehi sab par toh mai research kar rha hu. u see?
ek baat toh mai bhali-bhaanti samazta hu, ke kaante se hi kaanta nikalta hai.
Dusre ko beokuf banane wala, jab khud beokuf ban jaaye, toh usey yeh baat natural lagti hai, ke jo, wo karne ja raha tha, woh koi aur bhi toh, uske saath kar sakta hai.
Kisi bhi plan ko agar fail karna ho, toh waisa hi counter-plan banana padta hai. Loha hi lohe ko kaat'ta hai..
Aur muje jyada sochna nahi pada. Itna hi kehna pada, ke- didi, jaise tumne muje apne plan mein apne saath kar liya, waise maine bhi jeeju ko shaamil kar liya tha, apne khud ke plan me. u see..?"
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Sandip aur Pramod itne impress ho gaye Saurav se, ke koi kuchh aage bol hi nahi paaya.
Dono hi Saurav ko admire karne lage..ek gratefully, toh dusra respectfully.
Saurav aksar office mein aata tha, iisliye Pramod usey jaanta toh tha, lekin usey pehchana aaj..
Saurav jab bhi Sandip ke ghar aata tha toh ghar ka mahaul hi badal jata tha uski presence se. Uski chahal-pahal aur mazaakiya nature se, uski masti se, ekdam liveliness aa jaati thi purey ghar me. Sandip ko lagta ke maano koi chhota bachcha aa gaya hai ghar me. Lekin aaj usey lagne laga, ke woh chhota bachcha toh us'sey bhi jyaada matured banda hai.
"By the way," Saurav halka sa muskuraya. "I hope k aap aur didi, jab hotel pe pahuche toh room aur bed, kaafi achchi aur respectable condition mein paya hoga aapdono ne..
"Yes..yes.. indeed," Sandip chaunk kar aadha khada ho gaya apni chair se, "I was so surprised, room ekdam fresh..aur totally thik thaak tha. Kisi ko koi shaq nahi ho sakta tha, ke yaha kuchh waqt pehle..so, so, it was u, who instructed the hotel to do it.. yeah ?
Saurav ne pehle Pramod ko aur fir Sandeep ki aur ek mazaakiya nazar daali aur bola-
"Indeed it was me jeeju.. muje andaza toh hai, ke do lovers, gay or str8, ek room ki kya haalat kar sakte hai, and i didn't want to leave any end loose..iisliye aap aur didi jaise hi hotel ki aur rukhsad hue, toh immediately, maine fon se ye bhi arrangement karva di thi.
Pramod ke liye toh ye ek aur naya jhatka tha..
itna sab kuch.. ?
so well planning..?
yeh ladka hai ya koi diplomatic politician..?
kitna duur tak sochta hai ye 26-27 saal ka ladka..!
kahaa kahaan iska brain chal sakta hai..
Iske dimaag ko to, hazaaro salaam karni chahiye..
khud se toh sirf 3 ya 4 saal bada hai ye banda, magar kitna difference hai dono ke potentials me..
My god..! Pramod shook his head in disblief..
"i'm impressed saurav..but then tell me k how come u are so close to gay guys?" Sandip ne aakhir, by way of curiosity, puchh hi liya.
"Well.. woh kya hai jeeju, ke Human Psychology mein ek aur branch hoti hai 'Diversion & Perversion'.  Dusro se alag, dusro se achcha ya bura sochna, is called Diversion in thoughts, aur dusro ki choice se totally different choice hona, isko kehte hai Perversion in desires.
Agar jyada-tar logi vanilla flavour ki ice-cream pasand karte hai, aur aise mein kuch bande agar chocolate ice-cream chahte ho, that is Deviation in desires magr jab yeh Deviation, society toh acceptable na ho, toh wo ban jaati hai Perversion in desires.
Ab sexual desire mein bhi, deviations ya perversions hoti hai. For example homosexuality, jo ke ham sab jante hai..lekin ab usey perversion kam, aur deviation jyada maana jata hai q k usme dono partner ki consent hoti hai.
besides these, aur bhi hai, jaise pederasty or Pedophilia, yaani ke sex with children, aur fir Beastiality, yaani ke animals ke saath sex. Ab ye dono ek serious crime hoti hai q k usme second partner raazi hai ke nahi uska koi proof nahi hota.
aur fir sodomy, fetishism, exhibitionism, sadism&masochism, coprophiilia necrophilia etc.etc..bahut kuch hota hai.
Now finding guys with the remaining tastes or pervision is a bit tough, lekin homosexuals, yaani ke lesbians aur gays, toh aasani se mil jaate hai..toh unhi logon ke beech mein rehkar mai apna research and analysis karta hu. unki problems, unki hidden desires, unki unfulfilled fantasies etc. etc.
You kno Ronak. right ? my room-mate !  He too is a gay, but still my very close friend. Uske thru, aur kuch NGO ke thru, mai kaafi aise logo ke touch mein hu, aur apni studies aage badhata hu...samje..Jeeju..!
"Cool, really smart" Sandip ke muh se itna hi nikla..
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"ok jeeju, " kuch der baad Saurav ne kaha, "muje chalna chahiye, bus ka time ho chala hai"
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Sandip fir chaunk gaya, aur bola
"arey, magr iis masle ko solve kiye bina hi..
"masla..? masla toh ab aap dono ko suljana hai. Mai tu iis beech mein hoon hi nahi..
"par tumhari kya raay banti hai..?" Sandeep ne apne aur Pramod ke naye judey hue rishte ka zikr kiye bina hi, uus barey mein Saurav ki opinion maangi.
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"dekho jeeju, frankly speaking..aapki biwi ka bhai honey ke naate, mai aapke iis extra-marital affair ko kabhi support nahi karunga.
Par saath saath mai ek 'close-to-gay' banda bhi hu, aur jaanta hu ke sab married-gay bande, doule zindagi jitey hai. Agar hoshiyari barto, toh saari umar dono zindgiya parallel chalti rehe, magr thodi si bhi laparwaahi se..pura satyanash ho sakta hai, khud ka aur puri family ka. U r ruined..!
Ab aap dono ko yeh risk uthana chahiye, ya nahi, ye mai nahi jaanta. It's all upto u..
Ok..jeeju.! mai niklu ab or els, I'll really miss the bus. Chalo Pramod, Ok..? Bye..!
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Itna kehkar Saurav khada hua aur Pramod se haath milaya.
Apni haath failakar jeeju se galey mila.
Aur apni back-pack pichey latka kar chal diya.
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Pramod aur Sandeep dono kaafi der tak, uus insaani farishtey ko jaatey hue dekhte rahe...
aur yehi sochte rahe k..
Koi 'apna' hamari favour karey, toh wo toh kaafi achchi baat hoti hai, magar ye banda toh 'apne-jaisa' bhi nahi hai, fir bhi...!
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Kitna achcha ho, agar sara sansaar, iisi tarah hamare mann ko samajne lage...
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