GB Road waali call-girl toh maza karwa ke, paise lekar chali gayi
aur Sanjay bhi toh, apne kisi nayi DATE ke saath, uskey ghar gaya tha.
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toh, mai akele reh gaya ghar par,
aur soch mein duub gaya..
Mai sochne laga..parso Monday ko meri MRI ki reports aa jayegi,
sirf 2 din baaki hai..
fir shayad pata chal jayega, ke meri memories laut aayegi, ya nahi..
aur agar koi hopes hogi, toh further treatments bhi start ho jayegi.
lekin...
toh kya..mai fir se gay bann jaunga..?
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Magar..
magar.. I don't want to become a gay..
kya memories ka ek faida paane ke liye, gayness ka ek bada sa nuksaan bhi uthana padega, muje..?
I don't know..
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to fir ?
to fir kya karu mai..?
kya reports milne ke baad, Dr.Deol ki further treatment stop kar du..?
kya karu mai..?
Oh God....!
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Kaafi confused aur uncomfortable feel kar raha tha mai, yeh soch kar ke, mai kya chahta hu?
Sanjay toh abhi kisi ladke ke saath enjoy kar raha hoga, aur mai..
yahaan akela..!
Kaafi mayoos hota chala, mai..
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lekin uusi waqt..
to my utter surprise..
Sanjay laut aaya, aur mere chehre par muskaan bhi..
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Uskey fresh honey ke baad, ham dono ne whiskey ke peg banaaye
aur saath piney baith gaye..
Dono ne sirf shorts pehni hue thi.
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"Muje laga ke tum raat bhar thaher kar aaoge" maine kaha.
"Raajiv, you know it, but u don't remember," Sanjay ne meri aur dekha,
aur kaha, "most of the quickies, aur one-night-stands mein, raatbhar nahi thehrna hota. No sleepovers. Raat ko thaher ne ki baat to tab aati hai, jab dono ke beech mein, Relationship mahekne lagti hai"
"Jaise tumhari aur meri..." mere muh se nikal gaya.
Lekin, I swear, mere dil me aisa kuch nahi tha.
.
Sanjay stunned ho gya.
muje ek-tak dekhne laga.
ab muje kuch to kehna hi padega, jaldi hi, "I mean, hamari mahekti friendship" maine jatt se explain kiya.
.
Aur fir subject ko change karne ke liye, usey mere recent, ladki ke saath wale sex-encounter ki , chhoti-chhoti detail ke saath, sab batane laga.
Usney bhi apne, uus stud-boy ke saath wale sex-session ki baatein batayi.
Ham dono ne kya kiya, woh realize hote hi, ham dono hans pade.
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Tabhi maine ek aur wrong statement kar di.
"But I swear, muje tumhari bilkul jealousy nahi ho rahi." maine bina sochey keh diya.
Uskey chehre par dard ki ek lakeer fir daud gayi.
.
Jitna mai baazi samhalne ko ja raha tha, utna kahin na kahin mai usey hurt karne ki, koi na koi galti kar hi baithta.
Muje realize hua..magar kafi late, ke shayad woh uus ladke se sex iisliye karne gaya tha, taaki mere dil me, chahe thodisi bhi, magar jealousy paida ho..uske liye, mere mein kuch posessiveness aaye,
.
Aakir baat badalte hue, maine kaha -"meri MRI ki reports aa chuki hai aur Dr.Deol Monday morning ko consulting ke liye bula rahe hai. Tum agar office se off le sako toh, I'll like you to come with me."
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"Ok, I'll take an off, and will be with you." usney soft, very soft tone mein jawaab diya.
Kitni aasani se woh apne aap ko, immediately samhaal leta hai..!
I admire this boy..
.
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Fir ham so gaye..Bed ke opposite corner pe.
Dusri din, Saturday morning jab mai jaaga,
toh dekha ke mai Sanjay ko lipat ke so rha hu.
Mera lund uski gand se press ho raha tha.
Sanjay abhi bhi neend me tha..ya fir neend me honey ka dhong kar raha tha..
Jaagne par mera pehla re-action tha, ke mai Sanjay ke badan se alag ho jaau.
Magar, mai apne aap ko iis duniya mein itna mayoos, itna helpless, itna akela mehsoos kar raha tha, ke us'sey lipatne me muje kaafi comfort milta tha.
Tabhi mujey khyal aaya, ke sab logo ki tarah aur har roz ki tarah, subah subah mera lund bhi khada ho chuka hai.
Maine mehsuus kiya ke uski gaand me mera kadak lund press ho raha hai..
toh mai cautious ho gaya..
Meri erection chali gayi..
immediately lund dheela honey laga.
Mai jaanta tha, mere lund ke dheeley ho jaane se Sanjay disappoint ho gaya hoga magar khair...
.
Mai khada hua
aur apna daily routine niptane laga..
Woh bechara mayoos sa leita raha.
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Uus din meri tabiyat achanak kharaab ho gayi..
din bhar sar-dard raha, without any reason..
Sanjay bechara pareshaan raha mere liye,
he genuinely felt worried for me,
and i genuinely felt sorry for him..
.
Shaam ko jaa ke kuch relief mili..
I was feeling quite fresh..
to Sanjay bhi apna normal mood me aaney laga..
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Usney muje puchha -"aaj dinner me kya khaoge?"
"Tum kya sab khana paka lete ho kya" maine casually puchha.
Usney sar hila kar haan kaha.
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"I'm sorry," maine kaha. "I really have to learn how to cook, so that mai bhi kuchh
helping hand bann saku."
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"I really don't mind," Sanjay bola. "Cooking is a kind of my hobby. You don't have to learn."
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"Fir bhi, mai chahta hu ke tum muje sikhaao. Do you have any idea for tonight? Hamlog aajse hi apne lessons start kar de."
Sanjay hans pada..
aur mera haath thaam liya..
.
achanak usey khyaal aaya, ke hamaari jo shart thi, usey woh dis-obey kar raha hai,
toh usney fauran mera haath chhor diya...
pata nahi kyu, magar mai us'sey keh nahi paya, ke mujey is baat se koi problem nahi thi.
.
Uus raat ham so gaye..
aur Sunday morning fir wohi hua..
mai usey lipta raha,
aur neend khulne par, apne aap ko ek jhatke mein, alag kar diya..
Aaj fir woh, meri iis harkat se disappoint ho gaya tha.
Mai wash-room me ja kar, naha dho kar bahar aaya, freshly shaved and showered. Sanjay bed pe baitha hua tha..
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Wo meri taraf muskuraya aur mai bhi.
"Tu toh saale, ek randi ki tarah mahek raha hai" usney mujey pok karna chaha.
"Magr dost, yeh sab tumhare liye nahi hai." maine innocently jawab diya. "Mai kisi mast patakha ladki ko behkana chahta hu, iin sab se" maine aankh maarte huey kaha.
.
"seriously yaar," usne baat badal di, "ham log barso se mandir nahi gaye. Chal, aaj sunday hai, toh Devi Maa ke charno me maatha tek kar aatey hai. Mai teri recovery ke liye, Mata-Rani se dua maangna chahta hu. Tu saath chalega, toh achcha rahega"
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"Sanjay, I don't know, ke mai achcha hona chahta hu, ke nahi. Mai apna business achchi tarah handle kar sakta hu. Meri income mein koi fark nahi pada hai, aur na hi meri health mein koi problm hai. Jara iis baat ko socho. Ho sakta hai, ke mai kisi khubsurat ladki se ishq kar lu, us'sey shaadi kar ke bachchey paida kar lu. Won't that be fantastic?"
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Ek baar fir, jo mujey sachcha aur achcha laga woh mai bol diya..
aur muje malum tha, ke usey yeh sach kaduwa laga.
Uska muh itna chhota ho gaya, ke maine usey almost pakad kar hug kar liya... ALMOST
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"Chal ham mandir chalte hai.." maine kaha..
magar uska chehra koi jyada kheel nahi paya..
.
Ham mandir gaye.
fir waha se hamne Central-Park jaane ka decide kiya..
na toh muje Central-Park yaad tha, aur na hi muje mandeer ke puja-paath ki koi vidhi yaad thi..
magar har kadam par, Sanjay ne muje guide kiya..
.
mujey har kadam par uske guidance ki jarurat pad rahi thi..
aur usko chhor kar jaaney ki meri itni saari dhamkiyo ke baavjud, muje malum tha, ke mai woh kar nahi paunga.
.
Ham garden mein ek bench par baith gaye.
Meri pichhli zindgi ki dher saari baatein karte hue Sanjay ko, ek pal bhi thakaan nahi mehsus ho rahi thi.
Saath saath mein, woh muje sex ki uun sab baate bhi batata raha, jisme muje kaafi maza aata tha.
.
Ab, woh sab sexual acts, mai kabhi kar bhi sakta hu, aisa imagine karna bhi mere liye muskil tha.
Haan, itna toh hai, ke ab muje uski aisi baato se suffocation nahi ho rahi thi,
magar uskey saath sex karne ki, koi ichcha bhi toh nahi ho rahi thi.
Aur mai yeh bhi jaanta tha, ke agar maine Sanjay ko kho diya, toh mai puri tarah khatm ho jaunga, at least mentally, if not physically.
Mai usey chhor nahi sakta, yeh hakiqat mere dil-o-dimag mein puri tarah ghar kar gayi thi.
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Oh shit, muje suddenly yaad aaya, kal saturday ko, 2 single beds lene the.. woh to liye hi nahi..
Khair, chhoro, next week-end pe le lenge.
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Mera mann muje yehi puchh raha tha, ke kya actually muje 2 single bed lene hai..
at least, Sanjay ko toh nahi lene thhe, that i was quite sure.
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Ham ghar aaye
aur baki ka din waise hi cooking sikhne me, aur daaru piney me pura ho gaya..
Raat ko sotey waqt, mere dil aur dimaag me conflict hona shuru ho gayi.
Dil chahta tha ke mai fir se gay ban jaau. Sanjay ko whole-heartedly woh sab du, jiska woh haqqdaar hai.
Jabke dimaag kehta tha, kya jarurat hai ? pichhli memories na bhi laut aaye to kya farq padega..waise bhi meri income aur sehat me toh koi farq pada nahi hai..at least iis gay-giri ka risk toh nahi uthana padega..
.
and at the end..
mere dimaag ne victory haansil kar li..
maine decide kiya ke Dr. Deol ke saath yeh aakhri mulaqaat hogi..
ab iis'se aage..
nothing doing..
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Dusre din, Monday morning ko ham Dr.Deol ki clinic me gaye.
Mai kaafi nervous tha.
MRI mein kya aaya hoga?
ab jo bhi ho..muje ab ekdam firm hi rehna hai..
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Cabin me jaate hi, Doctor ne hamdono ko greet kiya.
aur sidha main topic pe baat karna shuru kiya.
"Rajiv, tumhare reports ko maine study kiya hai..usme saaf dikhaai deta hai ke tumne night-table ke corner se apna sar takra diya tha, us'se yeh hua hai, ke brain ka woh hissa, jo memories se associated hai, waha ek ghaav ho gaya tha aur baad mein ek very tiny blood-clot paida ho gaya hai. But you don't worry, ham log ek operation kar ke, laser-beam ke thru, uus blood-clot ko dissolve kar sakte hai."
"hmm hmm.." Sanjay ne dhyaan se suunte hue apna response diya
.
"Lekin, us'sey tumhari memories waapas aayegi ke nahi, uski koi guarantee nahi hai..similarly tumhari sexual preferences mein bhi fir se badlaav aayega ke nahi, wo bhi koi andaza nahi."
"ok..carry on.." maine Deol ko apni baat jaari rakhne ka ishara kiya
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"Lekin tumhari MRI ke waqt, jaise maine kaha tha, ke tumhare brain ke yeh particular spot hi tumhari sex ki pasand-napasand ko decide karta hai. Aur agar, tum fir se homosexual ban jaaoge, to meri toh life bann jayegi. Meri life ka main aim fir wohi hoga, ke aage jaake, mai brain ke uusi spot ke upar, aur advanced research karu. Hetrosexual aur homosexuals ke dimaag ke wohi hissey pe concentrate kar ke, mai differnciate karna shuru karunga. Ok..? toh fir Wednesday ko hi operation kar dalte hai."
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Sanjay ne mera haath pakda aur muskuraya..
uska pyaar, shayad jaldi hi waapas milne wala tha, usey.
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magar maine apna haath khinch liya..
"Agar mai operation na karwana chahu to? what, if want to remain hetrosexual?"
maine Sanjay ki feelings ki parwaah kiye bina, boldly puchh liya..
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"I can understand your feelings," Dr.Deol mukuraye,
fir mera haath apne haatho me lekar aage bole, "lekin my brother, operation nahi karwane ka koi option, maine tuje diya hi nahi hai. You see, It's very dangerous to live with the clot in your blood. Brain tissues se alag ho kar, woh clot, blood me travel karte karte, tere heart tak bhi pahuch sakta hai. Raajiv, do u get me..? after that it may even cause a STROKE, a massive heart-attack. Can u imagine ? you may even die in the near future."
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Mai speechless ho gaya..
Sanjay ne fir muje thaam liya..
"Lekin meri memories, wapas restore karne ki koi guarantee to aap de nahi rahe. fir kya zarurat hai..?"
"U are right. But I don't know anything.. Mai to sirf utna jaanta hu, ke tere brain ka yeh clot remove karna absolutely jaruri hai, for the sake of your long-life. Aur ekdam simple procedure hai yeh. tumhare cranium mein.."
"Cranium..?"
"yeah, tumhari khopdi mein do chhote..ekdam chhote, chhed bana ke micro-camera aur laser-beam andar dalenge, aur uus clot ko melt kar denge. Bas..finish.. Wednesday ko agar operate kiya, toh by thursday evening, you can even go home, yaar. Arey, latest by Friday. Mai tuje request karunga dost, ke iis killer ko hatane mein, tu bilkul hesitate mat ho."
"Please.." Sanjay ne kaha, "karwa lo operation"
Mai chup raha..aur firm bhi.
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Meri silence se mere inkaar ki buu aa rahi thi, jis'se Dr.Deol ka chehra sakht hota chala.
"And for your information, Mr. Rana", doctor ki awaaz mein bhi, ab sakhti aane lagi. Ab dost aur brother ke badle usne muje Mr.Rana kehna shuru kar diya. "Aapne jo forms fill-up kiye hai MRI se pehle, according to that, Sanjay aapka MEDICAL SURROGATE hai. Hamlog chahein to ham declare kar sakte hai, ke aap apna decision lene ke kaabil nahi rahey ho. mere paas aapki MRI reports hai, iis baat ke support mein. And also, we can go to the court and get the orders from there, to carry on the necessary procedures and treatment."
.
As a lawyer, muje malum tha, ke MEDICAL SURROGATE kisey kehte hai.
Kabhi kabhi mareez ki umar, ya haalat aise nahi hotey, ke apna bhala-bura woh khud soch sakey.. for example new-born infants, young-minor children, people in long comma-state, and the people with such psychiatric or psychological conditions, jiski sochne ki taaqat damage ho chuki ho.
Muje last catagory me gina ja sakta hai, agar woh log chahe to.
Medical ethics ke mutabik, normally doctors ki yeh duty hoti hai, ke woh patient ke decision ka respect kar ke, usey maane.
Magrm doctors ki ye bhi duty hoti hai, ke woh patient ke benefit, uske bhale-bure ke baare me bhi sochey..
aur yeh baat bilkul patients ke benefit mein nahi hoti, ke kyu ke woh decision nahi le sakte, to unko sahi medical treatment na di jaaye.
In other words, aise cases mein patient ke decision se jyada importance, uske medical surrogate ke decision ko diya jata hai, aisa maan kar, ke woh, patient ka bhala-bura, patient se bhi jyada achchi tarah se sochte hai.
Minors ke cases mein, unke parents ko yeh right hoti hai,
aur adults ke cases mein, unke medical surrogate ko yeh decision power milta hai.
Medical Surrogate kaun hota hai..iiske jawaab mein..
husband or wife, any adult son or daughter, adult grand-children, adult friend ( jisey power of attorney di gayi ho), woh automatically aise patients ke medical surrogate bann jaate hai.
Aur maine woh power of attorny Sanjay ko diya tha, MRI ke forms fill-up karte waqt.Yeh baat, ab mere dimaag mein click ho gayi..
.
Ab agar Sanjay chahe, to woh apni power ka istemaal kar sakta hai, mujey fir se gay-world me khinch laane ke liye..
meri mental condition unstable bata kar, woh meri man-chaahi treatment karwa sakta hai, meri marzi ke against ja kar bhi...
.
Mai chuup ho gaya...
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=========================== (contd..)
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