Aap, jinho ne meri pichhli 2 post (Fiasco of My Sex-Dates) padhi hogi, woh sab iis baat se toh waaqif honge, ke yeh dono real kissey hai, meri baaki post ki tarah yeh koi fake-stories nahi hai.
iis 2 sex-dates mein se pehli date ne muje maleria ka shikar bana diya tha..
aur muje 15-20 din ke liye bed-rest lena pada.
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mere bed-rest ke akhri daur mein. mai ek TV-star ke saath sex krne gya tha, jo ke meri dusri sex-date thi.
Aur dono ki dono, totally bekaar thi.
uus ghatna ke baad wala, yeh ek aur kissa hai, jisne mere mann mein kai ek sawaal khade kar diye, aur kkafi confused kr ke rakh diya.
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Due to malaria Office se maine 3 weeks ki sick-leave le li thi.
Aur din bhar ghar mein hi rehta tha.
Last ke 4-5 din se, mai kaafi theek tha, magar sirf safe-side ke liye, ghar par raha tha.
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Tabhi ek din afternoon mein, mere ghar ke aaspaas chehal pahal dekhi, which was not normal at that hour.
Normally afternoon mein 3-4 baje, puri colony mein sannata sa rehta hai.
Magar uus din, logo ka aana-jaana kuch jyada hi tha,
toh maine bahar ja kar kisi se pucha,
aur pata chala, ke mere neighbour ke ghar mein koi Swami xxxxxxxji aaye hue hai.
Waise mai iin cheezo mein jyada interested nahi hu.
Magar meri padauswali aunty ne kaha ke, -andar aa jaao, tum bimaar ho, toh Swami ji ke ashirwaad se tum jaldi theek ho jaoge.
Ab, waise toh maine kaafi recover kar liya tha, bimaari se,
toh definitely, by the next week, mere fully recover ho jaane ke 100% chances thhe.
Aur aisi koi badey problem waali bimaari toh thi nahi, ke jo medicines se theek na ho paati ho, aur muje dawa ke badle saadhu-santo ki duua ki jarurat padey.
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But I could not refuse the neighbour-aunty.
And to give due respect to here religious feelings, I went inside.
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Andar jo bhi thhe, sab gents hi thhe. No ladies allowed.
Sadhu maharaj nichey zameen par hi aasan laga kar biraajmaan hue thhe.
We honge meri hi umar ke,
ya phir ek do saal mujse chhote hi honge..may be 25-26years
kaafi gorey chitte,
badan hara bhara.
Koi muscles nahi thhe, magar body-fats bilkul kam.
sar par koi baal nahi.
aur maathe par bada sa tilak, unki personality ko kaafi impressive banata tha..
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Mai duur se hi, haath jod kar unke darshan kar rha tha..
Tab Neighbour-Aunty ke husband, ke jiska yeh ghar tha, woh muje halka sa dhakka dete hue boley- 'aise nahi.. paanv chhuney me sharm aati hai kya..? jaao aagey ja kar theek se pranaam karo..'
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Wel, mai aagey gaya,
aur ab mai aur sadhuji bilkul aanme saamne thhe,
sirf 6 foot ke duuri thhi, dono ke beech mein..
Ab ham dono ki nazar mili..
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Maine dekha ke Sadhu ji ki aankho mein, sirf ek-do second ke liye, ek chamkaar hua.
unki eyebrows kuchh upar uthi,
muuh aadha khula..
aur fir..
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fir, jald hi sab theek ho gya, pahle ke jaisa normal.
aankho mein, ab koi expression nahi thi..
muh bandh hua
and just like before, ek halki si muskaan unke chehre par kaayam ho gai.
aisi muskaan, jo ke unki personality ko aur strong kar deti thi..
ek ajeeb sa anand milta hoga logo ko unkey iis khubsurat aur divya mukh-mandal ko dekh kar..
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Mai nazdeek gaya,
unke paanv chhue
Meri nazrein nichey jhuki hui thhi..
Swamiji ne mere sar par apna haath rakha.
Kuch der rakhe rahe..aur fir utha liya.
(unho ne mere baalo ko chhua ke nahi..I'm not sure nor do I remember.)
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Maine upar dekha..
Unki aankhey bandh thi..
Mai khada hua.
pichey hatta
aur fir uunse thoda duur, baaki mardo ke saath ja kar khada ho gaya..
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ek aur bhi swamiji aaye hue thhe
aur uun sab ka koi religious-ritual chal rha tha, woh chalta rha..bhajans etc.
Mai 5mins thehar kar waha se bahar nikal gaya..
Aur apne ghar chala aaya..
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lekin ab mai normal nahi tha.
mera mann kuchh disturbed thha.
Kaafi confused tha, mai.
mere mann mein kai-ek sawal uuth khadey hue thhe..
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aaj se 8 saal pehle ki baat hogi. I must be about 20years at that time.
Roz Borivali se Churchgate jata tha.
Dadar Station aatey hi train ki bheed kaafi kam ho jaati thi.
Aur us'se aage Bombay Central aatey aatey toh standing passengers ekdam kam ho jaate thhe. Jo bhi hotey, woh sab sitting wale hi baaki rehte.
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Toh uus din, mai bahar bheed mein khada tha.
Aur Dadar-Station par jab bheed kam hui, toh meri nazar Mansukh se mili.
Aur dono ki aankho ne, ek hi pal mein kaafi baatein kar li.
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Now..now..
gays ki aankein kaafi kuch bol deti hai..
magar woh sab, sirf ek dusra gay banda hi samaj sakta hai..
Thanx to our gaydar..!
Jitna aapka gaydar powerful, utna aap speedliy samaj jaato ho.
Aur ham dono ke gaydar, lagta hai kaafi powerful thhe..
Kyo ke thodi bahut bheed honey ke bawajuud,
Dadar se Mumbai-Central aatey aatey, Mahasukh dusre end se mere end tak sarak ke aa chuka tha..
Aur mujse satt ke khada ho gaya..
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Bheed kam honey ki wajah se, jyada kuch ho nahi pa rha tha,
magar fir bhi..
thodi bahut tasalli toh, dono ne kar li thi..
usne mere lund ko do-char baar sehla liya tha
aur maine bhi, uski gaand par apna haath ghuma liya tha..
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Uskey baad toh baaki ke 3 station, Grant-Road, Charni-Road, aur Marine-Lines, par toh bheed ekdam kam hoti chali
aur ham dono ka chipak ke khada rehna mushkil hota chala..
toh ham ab alag ho gaye..
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Churghgate station aaya, aur ham dono ko utarna tha, kyo ke woh last station tha.
Station ke bahar nikalte nikalte, ham dono ne ek dusre ke naam jaan liye thhe.
Aur fon-nmbr bhi exchange kar liye..
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Mansukh was around 18years that time..
ekdam gora aur masuum.
Badan mein kaafi gosht bhara hua
aur mulayam..Jism par kaafi baal thhe..
Bas yeh body-hair hi usko manly look dete thhe
warna uska chehra toh ekdam bachkaana thha.
Height mujse 3-4 inch kam hi hogi, round about 5.5 or 5.6ft
and this is what i like about my sex-partner..
meri height ke, ya merese unche ladke, muje thoda sa turn-off kar dete hai
but this boy had a perfect figure..
Uski ki jewellary ki shop thhi, jiske pichhe hi unka workshop bhi tha..
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May be after a week or so, Mansukh ka fon aaya.
Uske workers aadha din chhutti lekar jaane wale thhe.
Toh mujey apni shop par bulaya.
Mai gaya toh woh shop ke Main-Entrance par hi khada tha.
Sham ka waqt tha..round about 7pm.
Dukan mein ek aur ladka tha.. koi 24-25 saal ka.
shayad uska worker ya relative tha.
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Mansukh ko akela nahi pa kar, mai thoda sa diappoint ho gya.
Muje dekhte hi, usne muje side ki galli se pichhey ki aur aaney ka ishara kiya.
Patli andheri galli se hotey hue mai pichhey gaya,
toh woh waha aa kar khada ho chuka tha.
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Usne muje andar liya. Aur darwaza bandh kar liya.
Andar jaate hi woh mujse lipat gaya.
itne khubsurat ladke ko meri baaho mein pa kar, mai toh apne nazeeb ko maan hi nahi sakta tha.
Mai kaafi khush aur excited ho gya tha.
Jitna zor tha, woh sab lagakar maine usey ek deep, very deep kiss ki.
Hamari kiss kaafi lambe samay tak chal sakti thi,
magar woh fauran alag ho gya
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Maine aas-paas dekha.
Yeh uski workshop thi.
Workshop aur dukan ke beech, bas ek diwaar hi thi
aur aane jaane ke liye ek darwaaza.
Mansukh ne waha ja kar, woh darwaza andar se band kar liya.
Maine bahar wale ladke ke baare mein pucha.
Usne kaha ke woh uska gaanv-wala tha, aur dukan mein kaam kr rha tha.
Woh andar workshop mein study kar rha hai -aisa usne pehle sei hi uus ladke ko bataya tha.
Uskey daddy aaj jaldi ghar chale gye thhe.
Toh koi jyada problm nahi thi..
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After a deep intimate kiss,
I pushed his head downward, making him to kneel down before me.
Woh samaz gaya ke mai us'sey oral-sex karwana chahta hu.
Usne meri zip khol di
aur mere underwear ke upars e hi apna kaam shuru kar diya.
Mai uske baalo mein haath ghumane laga.
Sama rangeen hota chala..
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Kuch der baad usne mera lund bahar nikala
aur usey chusne laga..
shayad kuch jyada aata nahi tha usey..
toh baar baar, maare ghutan ke, woh ruuk jata tha..
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bas 4-5mins ke baad woh khada ho gya
aur kehne laga- 'we must hurry up, 7.30 ko shop bandh karne ka time ho jayega.
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Thoda mai confused ho gya..
usey mera chusna nahi hai, aur jaldi khatm bhi karna hai.
Toh wo kya karna chahta hai..
kahin mujse toh chuswana nahi chaah raha..?
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aise chikne ladke ki gaand agar mil jaaye, toh maza aa jaaye,
mai dil hi dil mein yehi chah rha tha, ke woh raazi ho jaaye.
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Maine usey pichhe paltaya, toh woh palat gaya..
Wow..!
Mai usey pichey se lipat gaya..
aur uski chest ko sehlane laga..
fir uske pant ke buttons khol kar utaar diya..
aur fir uski underwear ke elastic ko nichey khich liya..
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Ab meri nazar ke saamne jo khubsurat nazara tha, woh meri life-long memory bann gya..
itna khusurat pichhwada..!
ji karta tha, bas dekhta hi rahu..
ekdam gorey gorey do gubbare..
koi shikan nahi padi thi uunpar..
totally plain and smooth surface..
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Mai uuspar haath ferne laga..
aur ferta hi raha..
dono gubbaro ke beech mein narm mulayam gehre laal rang ka uska woh jaan-leva chhed...!
uus chhed ko sehlana muje saatve aasmaan ki sair ke jaise lagta tha..
kuchh der tak mai usey sehlate raha..
apni finger se usey kuredne ki halki si kosish karta rha..
mere dil mein vasna ki aandhi aa chuki thi..
mai madhosh hota chala..
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tab..usne apni gaand pichey dhakeli
aur muje jaldi karne ko fir yaad dilaya..
Maine apne cock-head uske chhed par rakha..
condom ka istemaal ka toh sawaal hi nahi tha,
kyo ke tab uska koi culture nahi tha
ya fir kaafi kam jaankari thi ham sabko..
umar bhi toh dono ki koi jyada nahi thhi.
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Mere ek hi zordaar dhakkey ne uske muuh se cheekh nikalwa di..
'slowly yaar.. kya kr rha hai..' usne jhalla kar kaha..
'sorry..' keh kar maine apne aap par kaabu pa liya..
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ladka chahe oral sex mein kachcha tha,
magar anal-sex ka kaafi experienced lagta tha..
bas do-chhar dhakko ke baad, woh meri size se accustomed ho gya
aur behtarin response dene laga..
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'enjoying..?' maine puchha.
'yeah.. carry on..but hurry up..' usne green signal diya.
aur mai apni taqat azmane laga..
dhakko ki raftaar badha di maine..
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bas..
within 10mins, i acheived a fantastic climax..
ham dono fully satisfied thhe..
uskey chehre par ek khubsurat muskaan aa gayi, maano ke sex-partner ki apni choice se woh khush tha.
ham dono ki yeh sex-date ekdam successful rahi..
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ham dono ne kapde pehan liye,
aur pichle darwaaze se mai bahar nikal aaya..
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Mansukh meri performance se kaafi impressed tha..
kyo ke fir woh muje, mauka milte hi har 10-15 din mein, apni shop par sex-session ke liye bulane laga.
Yeh kariban 6months tak chala hoga..
during which maine usey 12-15 times fuck kiya hoga.
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Fir achanak uske fon aaney bandh ho gaye..
Uske paas cell-fon toh tha nahi..
usne muje apni shop ka hi fon-nmbr diya tha.
Magr mai fon karne se darta tha, ke pata nahi kaun receive karega aur kya puchega..
6-7 mahine beet gaye..Mansukh ka koi news nahi tha.
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aur..
achanak ek din uska fon aaya..
usney dusre din muje apni shop par bulaya..about 12pm noon.
mai us'sey milne ko betaab ho chuka
aur apna sab schedule re-suffle kar ke usko milne chala gaya.
mujse milte hi, woh fauran muje apne ghar le gaya..
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uska ghar koi jyada duur nahi tha..
ghar par uske, koi nahi tha..
I was so happy with the privacy we got..
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usne muje kaha ke uske parents gaanv gaye hai.. aur uske uncle aur cousin shop attend kar rahe hai..aur ghar par shaam ko 7baje ke baad hi aayenge toh upto 6pm, we can safely enjoy.
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Hamne sex kiya..
khuub sex kiya..
I fucked him thrice during those 6 hours..
I fucked him in various styles, different positions, and at several places like bathroom, hall bedroom..even gallary..
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aur jo hisaab se woh muje response de rha tha.. I was astonished..
achraj ho rha tha muje, ke sirf 18 saal ka yeh ladka..kitne chaav se luutf utha rha hai gaand marwaane mein..
meri 3 saal ki sex life mein, muje jitne bhi ladke miley thhe, uun sab ke saath ek session mein ek baar se jyada maine climax nahi achieve ki thi..
kyo ke privacy ya mauke ki kami ki wajah se, yeh mumkin nahi hota tha.
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Toh uus din, at a stroke mein, at a stretch, 3 baar uski gaand mein maal nikalne se mai toh dhanya ho gya..
Sham ko nikalte waqt, usne muje puchha- "kal fir aaoge..?"
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aaj itna sex karne ke baad, fir dusre din sex karna..
thoda surprising lagta tha..
maine kaha- "abhi ek week hai, haath mein.. do-teen din baad aa jaunga."
toh woh bola- "kal 12 baje aa jaao, please, tumse kuch serious baat bhi karni hai.."
maine koi arguement nahi ki..
mera bhi dil bhi kaafi ho rha tha, us'se fir se sex karne ko..
yaar, woh umar hi aisi thi..
3times climax acheive karna koi mushkil nahi tha..
kai ek baar mood ban'ne par, din mein 3 baar muuth marna, mere liye koi extra-ordinary baat nahi thi..
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dusre din mai fir uske ghar gaya..
hamne fir chudaai ki..
har position mein..
kisi bhi style ki fucking mein, woh muje kuchh bhi karne ko mana nahi kar rha tha..
mai apni marzi ke mutabik uska istemaal karta tha
aur woh meri harkat ko dil se enjoy kar rha tha..
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2 round khamt hue
aur baad mein, jab ham bed par leite thhe
tab woh baat maine chhed hi di..
"what's that matter, which u were talking yesterday..?"
"yeah.. mai soch rha tha ke kab aur kaise batau tum ko.."
"anything serious..? koi accident ya death..? tumhare parents gaanv kyo gye hai..? -maine uska haath apne haath mein lete hue puchha
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"woh..baat aisi hai ke jald hi, mai 'diksha' le raha hu.."
"matlab..?"
"matlab Sanyaas.. mai sanyaas le rha hu.."
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mere haath, jo uske haath ko sehla rha tha, woh ruuk gaya..
mai uski aankho mein aankey daal kar dekhne laga..
uski aankhe muje dekhti rahi..chupchaap
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"kaisi baat kar rha hai tu yaar..? you gone crazy or what..?" -kuch der baad maine re-act kiya.
"no, I am serious.."
"kahaa se aise betuke khayaal aate hai tere dimaag mein, yaar"
"kai mahino se mere zahen mein yeh sab chal rha hai..ya kai saalo se.."
"toh bhuul ja ab woh sab.. kuch achcha soch yaar.."
"yeh achchi baat hi hai, aisi baat har koi nahi sochta. aur sochta bhi hai to har koi serious thought nahi deta usey.."
"yehi toh mai keh rha hu..dont give a serious thought to it.."
"every thing is decided..sab fix ho chuuka hai.."
"fix..matlab..? apne mummy-daddy se bhi baat ki hai kya..?"
"yes.."
"o fuck.., jara unki feelings ke baare mein socha hota.. kitne armaan honge tere liye..teri shaadi ko lekar..tere bachche honge..dada-daadi ban'ne ke unke sab sapne..kuch toh khayal karna tha unka. tu toh.."
"unhoney permission de di hai.." -Mansukh ne meri baat ko kaat diya.
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"what..? permission de di..?" -mere liye yeh ek zordar shock tha..
kaise re-act karu kuch samaz mein nahi aa rha tha..
"yeah.. in fact unko toh khushi hai, ke maine aakhir yeh decision le hi liya..bahut mahino se mai confused tha, ke mai kya karu. aur yeh baat woh jaante thhe."
"aise kaise permission de di yaar..? unka beta unko chhor kar ja rha hai, aur unko koi taqleef nahi hui..?"
"yeh koi buuri baat toh nahi ho rahi.. infact, mere nanaji ne bhi diksha li hai..mere mama ke ek ladke ne bhi li hai..meri bua (fuufi) bhi saadhvi hai.."
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bada ajeeb lag rha tha muje yeh ladka, uske parents, uskey ghar ka mahaul..
sab kuch unbeleivable tha mere liye..
koi suicide karne baat kr rha hai, aur baaki log usey support karey toh kaisa feel hota hai..?
bas waisa hi kuch muje feel ho rha tha.
iis ladke ki soch par muje taras aa rha tha..
i was feeling pity for him..
itna hatta-katta sunder sa nau-jawan ladka..
kya nahi uske paas..!
sehat.. khubsurati..
baap ki jami-jamaai dukaan,
iis mumbai shaher mein ek bada sa well-furnished ghar,
pyar krnewale ma-baap
family, friends..
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bada hokar shaadi karke achchi zindagi basar kar sakta hai..
magr pata nahi iis nadaan ke dimaag mein yeh kya ghuus gya hai..
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mai udaas hota chala..
agar iiske ma-baap ne permission na di hoti, toh definitely mai uunki side lekar, iis nadan ladke ka brain-wash karne ki koshish karta..
magar jab ma-baap raazi hai itna bada kadam uthane ke liye, toh meri toh kuch banti hi nahi..
toh..
maine apne hathiyaar daal diye..
mai usko ek tak dekhta raha
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hamdono ne uskey baad koi jyada baat nahi ki
logo ke aise re-action ka shayad woh aadi ho chuka hoga..
toh usne muje disturb karna nai chaha...
bas chuup chaap hi rha, aur muje waqt deta rha, yeh jhatka bardasht karne ke liye..
pichhle din hamne 3round kiye thhe, sex ke
uus din 2 round hue thhe aur tisre round ka mera irada bhi thha,
magar woh toh, usne yeh bomb foda, us'sey pehle ki baat thi..
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ab toh mere mood ka satyanaash nikal chuuka tha..
maine chaai piney ki ichcha jaahir ki..
usne apne haatho se chaai banayi..
aur muje pilaai
maine cigarette jalaayi, aur chaai pitey pitey usey dekhta rha..
woh nazrein juka kar baitha rha..
koi kuch bol nahi rha tha..
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fir..
mai waha se chalta bana..
aur apne ghar pahuch gya.
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pichhle din toh 3 round ke bawajood bhi, aur dusre din sex honewala hai yeh jante hue bhi, raat ko bistar mein leite leite, uuski khubsurat jawani ko yaad karke maine muuth maari thi..
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magar aaj toh sirf 2round hue thhe,
fir bhi raat ko mera koi mood nahi bana, muuth marne ka..
aaj bhi, woh qayamat dhaanewala badan yaad aa rha tha..
magar uska asar kuch nahi ho rha tha..
situation to aisi thi, ke agar koi muje kahe ke -Ashit, yeh Mansukh apna irada badal dega. lekin ek sart par. aur woh yeh, ke tu uske saath puuri life mein kabhi bhi sex mat karna..
toh, tabhi meri mental condition aisi thi, ke mai woh shart bhji maan'ne ko, aur usey chhor dene ko taiyaar tha..
kitna disturbed aur udaas ho gya tha mai..
muje us'se kuch nahi chaiye tha..bas yehi ke woh iis sansaar mein rahey aur khush hokar, duniya ka har sukh usey naseeb ho..
itne mahine, maine us'sey sirf pure-sex hi kiya tha..
kabhi emotionally attached nhi hua tha..
magr ab muje lagne laga, ke mai us'sey pyaar karne laga hu..
usey kho kar, mai adhura hi bann kar reh jaunga..
woh ladka toh muje pyaar karta nahi..
woh toh shayad apne parents ko bhi pyaar nahi karta,
tabhi toh uun ko permanently chhor kar jaane ko taiyar hua hai..
lekin fir bhi..
muje uske upar, all of a sudden, ekdam hi pyaar umad aaya.
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maine raato-raat tay kiya, ke mai usey itna pyar dunga, ke mera pyaar paa kar woh yeh sab nautanki chhor de..
mai jaanta tha, ke this is not possible..
fir bhi usey mai woh sab dena chahta tha, jis'se mere saath waali mulakaat uske liye ek yaadgaar bann ke reh jaaye.
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Teesre din, mai uske ghar gya..
Ab tak maine kuch kuchh recover kar liya tha..
toh mai fir uske saath sex karne ka mood bana paya.
ek baar fir, maine uski gaand khuub jamm kar maari..
uske chehre par satisfaction ki laqeer saaf dikh rhi thhi,
aur mai bhi yehi dekhna chahta tha.
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maine usey apni gode mein bithaya
aur uski gardan par apna muh ghumane laga
usey meri nazdeeki ka ehsaas dilane laga..
dusre haath se mai uska lund sehla rha tha, jo ke khuub tann kar khada tha..
pichhle do dino mein, mai uski muuth maar maar kar uska maal jadwata tha..
aur aaj bhi yehi kar rha tha.
par aaj maine usey kuch der ke baad khada kiya..
mai bistar par peeth ke bal leit gaya
aur apne paanv utha kar, usey meri maarne ka ishara kiya..
woh surprised ho kar muje dekhne laga..
hamari relationship mein aisa kabhi bhi nahi hua tha..
na maine kabhi bhi uska chusa tha, aur na hi kabhi us'se marwaai thi..
by the way, usne toh kabhi koi demand bhi nahi ki thi..
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aisa nahi ke maine kabhi apni marwaai nahi thi..
meri sex life ki shuruaat, as-a-bottom hi hui thi..
mai tabhi kaafi chhota tha..kuch 14-15 saal ka..
aur muje iis gay-sex mein introduce karnewala banda hoga, koi 25-26 ka..
aur uske baad 2-3 aur bando ne mujse sex kiya, woh bhi yehi umar ke thhe..
kehne ka matlab, woh itne sab umar mein bade thhe, ke mai unko mana nahi kar sakta thha..
kuul mila kar 3 saalo mein maine 25-30 baar marwaai hogi..
magar kabhi bhi mai aisa karne mein khush nahi tha.
I never liked being a bottm, but still I remained a bottom bcoz i cud not dare to deny them
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But after a few years, when i was about 17-18 and had completed my schooling, mere dost sab badal gaye thhe..
naye dost, aur circle, aur mahoul...sab badal gaya..
ladkiyo ki baat, film-heroine ke figure ki discussion, sab khulle-aam, frequently hone laga tha..
tabhi maine socha, ke ab bahut ho gya..ab mai ye sab nahi karne dunga kisi ko..
mai ladkiyo wala kaam nahi karunga..
And i stopped bottoming.
.
lekin, meri gay-sex ki chahat kam nahi hui..
But now, i got attracted to younger guys..umar mein mujse chhote, ya to fir height mein mujse short..
college ke liye, meri train mein travelling shuru ho gayi thi..
toh train aur station ke public-toilet mein meri nazar, aise ladko ko dhundne lagi..
uus waqt internet ya social-sites ki absence mein, ladko ko aise hi search kiya jata tha..
Internet kaafi costly hua karta tha..toh personal-use ke liye usey afford nahi kar pata tha.
Anyway, somehow i used to find such younger boys
and i manged to become a top..
.
uske baad, mai hamesha top hi bann kar reh gya..
aisa badlaav, sab ki zindagi mein aata hai ya nahi, i dont know,
but yeah, maine apni sexual-orientation badal di..
mai aisa kar saka kyo ke muje lagta hai, ke mai kabhi bottom tha hi nahi..
this could be the only reason for my switching over from being bottom to top.
.
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Magr aaj mai fiir raazi ho gya, bottom ban'ne ko..
muje iis ladke ko woh sab dena hai jo mai de sakta hu..
shayad isi'se tempt ho kar woh apna irada badal de.
ek naakam kosish ki maine, out of frustration..
.
maine usey apne upar chadhaya..
usne koi interest nahi dikhaya.
Magar maine usey ek baar try karne ko kaha..
'lekin kya jarurat hai..?' -usne pucha..
'bas ek baar, mere liye itna karo..' -maine kuch request-tone mein kaha.
.
usne try kiya
aur success bhi hua andar entry maarne ko..
it was quite a pain for me..
lekin maine tolerate kiya,
itna toh muje karna hi tha agar usey iis cheez mein involve karke rakhna ho toh..
fir,
maine usey dhakko ki raftaar badha kar luutf uthane ko kaha..
usney zor laga kar dhakke dene shuru kiye
magar jyada der tak woh nahi kar saka..
i don't know why..
kuch der baad, usney apna bahar nikal liya..bina maal jaade hi..
I asked him the reason, but he didn't say anything..
sirf mujse lipat kar sota rha..
at last, maine uski muuth maar di...
uus din mai fir 3 round sex ke kar paya..
teeno baar maine uske khubsurat badan mein apna prem-ras bhar diya..
.
this sex-sessions carried on for three more days..
usney diye hue iis gehre sadme se, har dusre din mai jyada se jyada recover hota gya..
aur saath saath roz mai jyada se jyada tuut'ta bhi gya yeh soch kar ke hamare meeting-period ka ek din aur kam ho gya hai..
ek taraf mai strong hota gya, toh dusri taraf aur jyada udaas bhi hota gaya.
.
Woh last din aaya jab uske parents aane waale thhe.
tab agli raat ko maine ek letter likha..
20 saal ka mai ek ladka..
kaafi immatured tha..kya likhu kuch samaz nahi pa rha tha..
toh kaafi waqt liya maine sirf ek page ka letter likhne mein.
maine likha tha ke-
mai us'sey bahut pyar karta hu..aur usey kabhi yeh nahi sochna chahiye, ke woh ek ladki ki tarah hi hai..woh bhi ek mard hi hai..aur ek mard ki tarah, woh bhi sex kar sakta hai..usne muje penetrate kiya tha, woh iis baat ka proof hai..toh agar, aise kuch darr se, woh shaadi karna avoid kar rha hai, aur agar sanyaas yehi reason se le rha hai, ke usey shaadi na karni padey, toh mai usey full co-operation dene ko taiyaar hu..woh mujse mere husband ki tarah, tab tak sex kar sakta hai, jab tak usey full confidence na aa jaaye.. Maine room ke andar, akele mein ladkiyo waale kapde pahn'ne ki bhi taiyaari dikhayi.
.
(aaj bhi muje jab yaad aata hai, toh i'm quite surprised with my this offer..ke kisi ki devotion mein koi kuch bhi karne ko kaise ready ho jaata hai..)
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Aur aage likha tha ke agar actually usey ladkiya pasand nahi hai aur sirf mujse hi sex karna achcha lagta hai, toh mai uske saath puuri life bitane ko taiyaar hu..fir ham dono mein se jo bhi, jab chahe husband ya wife ka rol kar sakta hai, aur hamari life khub haseen tarike se beet sakti hai..
maine uusey yaha tak yakeen dilaya ke mai uus par koi burden bann ke nahi rahunga..mai apna kharch khud nikaal lunga, bcoz i have already started working a part time job.
Aur is'mein se agar usey kuch bhi manzoor nahi hai, toh bhi muje us'se koi complain nahi hogi..bas meri ek hi request hai ke agar woh iis sansaar mein, as a family-person bann kar rahe aur duniya ki woh sab khushiya aur luxary enjoy kare, jo ke usey itni easily available hai, jitni kisi bhi common ladke ko, even muje bhi, nahi hai..
.
.
well,
dusre din hamari last meeting ke baad maine usey yeh letter diya
aur mere jaane ke baad padhne ko kaha..
after that, i think his parents returned back,
and we stopped meeting, and he didn't even call me..
.
jaise jaise din bit'te gaye,
mera yakeen badhta gya ke mere letter ka uus par koi impact nahi hua hai..
lekin mere dil mein, fir bhi ek ummid thi,
kyo ke mai sachche dil se ishwar se prarthna karta raha tha, ke Mansukh apna decision change kar de
aur mera bhagwaan yeh khuub janta tha, ke iis prayers mein, mera koi bhi swaarth nahi tha..
maine chaahi thi, toh sirf uski khushiyaan, his happiness..that's all
aur isiliye..
muje meri prayers par pura yakeen tha,
aur iisi yakeen par, mai din guzaarta rha.
.
magar dosto, sab ki dua kubul toh nahi hoti na..!
shayad meri prayers mein kuch kami rahi hogi..
ya fir mera bhagwaan mujse koi jyada khush nahi tha..
kyo ke uskey baad, Mansukh ka koi fon nahi aaya
aur aaya bhi, toh bas ek baar, kuch 2 mahino ke baad.
woh muje apni 'sanyaas-ceremony' mein mujhe invite karna chahta..
magar maine mana kar diya, jane ko..
and that was it..
.
uske baad uska kabhi bhi koi fon nahi aaya.
aur na hi koi uski khabar aayee.
.
muje kabhi kabhi uski yaad toh aati hi rahi
magar mai jaanta tha, ke uske religion waale sanyaasi purey india mein, har jagah ghumte hi rehte hai..
kisi ek jagah mein woh max to max 8-10 din hi reh sakte hai,
aur woh bhi unke religion ke mandir mein hi..aur kahi nahi..
apni city mein jab woh aaye, toh bhi gharwaale unhe sirf mandir mein hi ja kar mil sakte hai..lekin bataur ek sanyaasi ki tarah hi, full respect ke saath..na ke ek bete ya ek bhai ki tarah..
blood relations toh jaise khatm hi ho jaate hai..
agar bachta hai, toh sirf ek relation, aur woh hai ek saadhu aur ek sansaari ka..
both of them at the opposite ends.
unki clothing, unka khana-pina, rehan-sahan ek dam simple magar kaafi strict hota hai..
even what they eat is totally tasteless, or rather mixture of all tastes..
.
ab iitni sab information ke baad, maine uski aur se koi bhi ummid nahi rakhi thi
aaj 2012 mein, uus baat ko 8 saal biit gaye..
mai apni life mein involve hota gaya..
usey bhulta chala gaya..
.
Mansukh ko kabhi bhi, maine apna address nahi bataya tha ke mai kaha rehta hu..
koi jarurat hi nahi padi thi.
.
magar aaj, after 8years, suddenly ek ittefaaq se hamari mulaaqat ho gayi..
I'm damn sure, he must have recognized me..
kyo ke uskey appearance mein aaye hue kaafi badlaao ke bavajuud, mai usey pehchaan paya tha..
toh fir mera appearance toh waisa hi hai jaisa 8saal pehle tha..sirf umar ka halka sa asar hua hai, that's all
aur uski aankho mein maine woh pahchaan ki chamkaar bhi dekhi thi..chaahe ek ya do pal ke liye hi sahi..
magar usne apne aap ko control kr liya, fauran.
.
Mai ghar aaya toh mai fir disturbed ho chuuka tha..
mai sochta rha, ke agar usne sanyaas lene ka itna pakka faisla kar hi liya thha toh fir usney muje apne saath sex karne ko kyo invite kiya..
normally aise period mein, jab ke kisi ke haath mein sirf kuch hi din baaki ho toh,
woh apne aap ko, apni aane waali life-style ke dhaanche mein dhaalne ki koshish mein lag jata hai..
magar mansukh ko jab aisa mauka mila, toh usne uus mauke ka bharpur faaida uthaya..
kya hoga uske dimaag mein uus waqt..?
shayad woh apne aap ko jitna ho sake utna jyada satisfy kar lena chahta tha..so that, aage chal kar koi bhi ichcha adhuri na reh jaaye..
whatever..
jaisi jiski philosophy..
.
magar aaj us'se milne ke ek mahine ke baad bhi, mere mann mein kai ek sawaal khade hai..
woh apni sex-drive ko itni aasani se kaise daba paya hoga..
kya usko kisi bhi cheez ka koi sauk ya jarurat nhi mehsus hoti hogi..?
woh apni will-power ko itni strong kaise bana paya hoga..
aur sab se important baat yeh, ke usey kya jarurat padi thi aisa kadua decision lene ki..?
.
Meri pichli zindagi ki yaadein, fir se laut aayi hai..jo ke muje kaafi disturb kar rhi hai..
but i'm sure, ke kuch hi din tak mai aisa disturbed rahunga..
aur fir wapas, mai apni routine life mein juut jaunga..
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.
.
=======================
iis 2 sex-dates mein se pehli date ne muje maleria ka shikar bana diya tha..
aur muje 15-20 din ke liye bed-rest lena pada.
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mere bed-rest ke akhri daur mein. mai ek TV-star ke saath sex krne gya tha, jo ke meri dusri sex-date thi.
Aur dono ki dono, totally bekaar thi.
uus ghatna ke baad wala, yeh ek aur kissa hai, jisne mere mann mein kai ek sawaal khade kar diye, aur kkafi confused kr ke rakh diya.
.
.
Due to malaria Office se maine 3 weeks ki sick-leave le li thi.
Aur din bhar ghar mein hi rehta tha.
Last ke 4-5 din se, mai kaafi theek tha, magar sirf safe-side ke liye, ghar par raha tha.
.
Tabhi ek din afternoon mein, mere ghar ke aaspaas chehal pahal dekhi, which was not normal at that hour.
Normally afternoon mein 3-4 baje, puri colony mein sannata sa rehta hai.
Magar uus din, logo ka aana-jaana kuch jyada hi tha,
toh maine bahar ja kar kisi se pucha, aur pata chala, ke mere neighbour ke ghar mein koi Swami xxxxxxxji aaye hue hai.
Waise mai iin cheezo mein jyada interested nahi hu.
Magar meri padauswali aunty ne kaha ke, -andar aa jaao, tum bimaar ho, toh Swami ji ke ashirwaad se tum jaldi theek ho jaoge.
Ab, waise toh maine kaafi recover kar liya tha, bimaari se,
toh definitely, by the next week, mere fully recover ho jaane ke 100% chances thhe.
Aur aisi koi badey problem waali bimaari toh thi nahi, ke jo medicines se theek na ho paati ho, aur muje dawa ke badle saadhu-santo ki duua ki jarurat padey.
.
But I could not refuse the neighbour-aunty.
And to give due respect to here religious feelings, I went inside.
.
Andar jo bhi thhe, sab gents hi thhe. No ladies allowed.
Sadhu maharaj nichey zameen par hi aasan laga kar biraajmaan hue thhe.
We honge meri hi umar ke,
ya phir ek do saal mujse chhote hi honge..may be 25-26years
kaafi gorey chitte,
badan hara bhara.
Koi muscles nahi thhe, magar body-fats bilkul kam.
sar par koi baal nahi.
aur maathe par bada sa tilak, unki personality ko kaafi impressive banata tha..
.
Mai duur se hi, haath jod kar unke darshan kar rha tha..
Tab Neighbour-Aunty ke husband, ke jiska yeh ghar tha, woh muje halka sa dhakka dete hue boley- 'aise nahi.. paanv chhuney me sharm aati hai kya..? jaao aagey ja kar theek se pranaam karo..'
.
Wel, mai aagey gaya,
aur ab mai aur sadhuji bilkul aanme saamne thhe,
sirf 6 foot ke duuri thhi, dono ke beech mein..
Ab ham dono ki nazar mili..
.
Maine dekha ke Sadhu ji ki aankho mein, sirf ek-do second ke liye, ek chamkaar hua.
unki eyebrows kuchh upar uthi,
muuh aadha khula..
aur fir..
.
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fir, jald hi sab theek ho gya, pahle ke jaisa normal.
aankho mein, ab koi expression nahi thi..
muh bandh hua
and just like before, ek halki si muskaan unke chehre par kaayam ho gai.
aisi muskaan, jo ke unki personality ko aur strong kar deti thi..
ek ajeeb sa anand milta hoga logo ko unkey iis khubsurat aur divya mukh-mandal ko dekh kar..
.
Mai nazdeek gaya,
unke paanv chhue
Meri nazrein nichey jhuki hui thhi..
Swamiji ne mere sar par apna haath rakha.
Kuch der rakhe rahe..aur fir utha liya.
(unho ne mere baalo ko chhua ke nahi..I'm not sure nor do I remember.)
.
Maine upar dekha..
Unki aankhey bandh thi..
Mai khada hua.
pichey hatta
aur fir uunse thoda duur, baaki mardo ke saath ja kar khada ho gaya..
.
ek aur bhi swamiji aaye hue thhe
aur uun sab ka koi religious-ritual chal rha tha, woh chalta rha..bhajans etc.
Mai 5mins thehar kar waha se bahar nikal gaya..
Aur apne ghar chala aaya..
.
lekin ab mai normal nahi tha.
mera mann kuchh disturbed thha.
Kaafi confused tha, mai.
mere mann mein kai-ek sawal uuth khadey hue thhe..
.
.
.
.
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aaj se 8 saal pehle ki baat hogi. I must be about 20years at that time.
Roz Borivali se Churchgate jata tha.
Dadar Station aatey hi train ki bheed kaafi kam ho jaati thi.
Aur us'se aage Bombay Central aatey aatey toh standing passengers ekdam kam ho jaate thhe. Jo bhi hotey, woh sab sitting wale hi baaki rehte.
.
Toh uus din, mai bahar bheed mein khada tha.
Aur Dadar-Station par jab bheed kam hui, toh meri nazar Mansukh se mili.
Aur dono ki aankho ne, ek hi pal mein kaafi baatein kar li.
.
Now..now..
gays ki aankein kaafi kuch bol deti hai..
magar woh sab, sirf ek dusra gay banda hi samaj sakta hai..
Thanx to our gaydar..!
Jitna aapka gaydar powerful, utna aap speedliy samaj jaato ho.
Aur ham dono ke gaydar, lagta hai kaafi powerful thhe..
Kyo ke thodi bahut bheed honey ke bawajuud,
Dadar se Mumbai-Central aatey aatey, Mahasukh dusre end se mere end tak sarak ke aa chuka tha..
Aur mujse satt ke khada ho gaya..
.
Bheed kam honey ki wajah se, jyada kuch ho nahi pa rha tha,
magar fir bhi..
thodi bahut tasalli toh, dono ne kar li thi..
usne mere lund ko do-char baar sehla liya tha
aur maine bhi, uski gaand par apna haath ghuma liya tha..
.
Uskey baad toh baaki ke 3 station, Grant-Road, Charni-Road, aur Marine-Lines, par toh bheed ekdam kam hoti chali
aur ham dono ka chipak ke khada rehna mushkil hota chala..
toh ham ab alag ho gaye..
.
Churghgate station aaya, aur ham dono ko utarna tha, kyo ke woh last station tha.
Station ke bahar nikalte nikalte, ham dono ne ek dusre ke naam jaan liye thhe.
Aur fon-nmbr bhi exchange kar liye..
.
Mansukh was around 18years that time..
ekdam gora aur masuum.
Badan mein kaafi gosht bhara hua
aur mulayam..Jism par kaafi baal thhe..
Bas yeh body-hair hi usko manly look dete thhe
warna uska chehra toh ekdam bachkaana thha.
Height mujse 3-4 inch kam hi hogi, round about 5.5 or 5.6ft
and this is what i like about my sex-partner..
meri height ke, ya merese unche ladke, muje thoda sa turn-off kar dete hai
but this boy had a perfect figure..
Uski ki jewellary ki shop thhi, jiske pichhe hi unka workshop bhi tha..
.
May be after a week or so, Mansukh ka fon aaya.
Uske workers aadha din chhutti lekar jaane wale thhe.
Toh mujey apni shop par bulaya.
Mai gaya toh woh shop ke Main-Entrance par hi khada tha.
Sham ka waqt tha..round about 7pm.
Dukan mein ek aur ladka tha.. koi 24-25 saal ka.
shayad uska worker ya relative tha.
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Mansukh ko akela nahi pa kar, mai thoda sa diappoint ho gya.
Muje dekhte hi, usne muje side ki galli se pichhey ki aur aaney ka ishara kiya.
Patli andheri galli se hotey hue mai pichhey gaya,
toh woh waha aa kar khada ho chuka tha.
.
Usne muje andar liya. Aur darwaza bandh kar liya.
Andar jaate hi woh mujse lipat gaya.
itne khubsurat ladke ko meri baaho mein pa kar, mai toh apne nazeeb ko maan hi nahi sakta tha.
Mai kaafi khush aur excited ho gya tha.
Jitna zor tha, woh sab lagakar maine usey ek deep, very deep kiss ki.
Hamari kiss kaafi lambe samay tak chal sakti thi,
magar woh fauran alag ho gya
.
Maine aas-paas dekha.
Yeh uski workshop thi.
Workshop aur dukan ke beech, bas ek diwaar hi thi
aur aane jaane ke liye ek darwaaza.
Mansukh ne waha ja kar, woh darwaza andar se band kar liya.
Maine bahar wale ladke ke baare mein pucha.
Usne kaha ke woh uska gaanv-wala tha, aur dukan mein kaam kr rha tha.
Woh andar workshop mein study kar rha hai -aisa usne pehle sei hi uus ladke ko bataya tha.
Uskey daddy aaj jaldi ghar chale gye thhe.
Toh koi jyada problm nahi thi..
.
After a deep intimate kiss,
I pushed his head downward, making him to kneel down before me.
Woh samaz gaya ke mai us'sey oral-sex karwana chahta hu.
Usne meri zip khol di
aur mere underwear ke upars e hi apna kaam shuru kar diya.
Mai uske baalo mein haath ghumane laga.
Sama rangeen hota chala..
.
Kuch der baad usne mera lund bahar nikala
aur usey chusne laga..
shayad kuch jyada aata nahi tha usey..
toh baar baar, maare ghutan ke, woh ruuk jata tha..
.
bas 4-5mins ke baad woh khada ho gya
aur kehne laga- 'we must hurry up, 7.30 ko shop bandh karne ka time ho jayega.
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Thoda mai confused ho gya..
usey mera chusna nahi hai, aur jaldi khatm bhi karna hai.
Toh wo kya karna chahta hai..
kahin mujse toh chuswana nahi chaah raha..?
.
aise chikne ladke ki gaand agar mil jaaye, toh maza aa jaaye,
mai dil hi dil mein yehi chah rha tha, ke woh raazi ho jaaye.
.
Maine usey pichhe paltaya, toh woh palat gaya..
Wow..!
Mai usey pichey se lipat gaya..
aur uski chest ko sehlane laga..
fir uske pant ke buttons khol kar utaar diya..
aur fir uski underwear ke elastic ko nichey khich liya..
.
Ab meri nazar ke saamne jo khubsurat nazara tha, woh meri life-long memory bann gya..
itna khusurat pichhwada..!
ji karta tha, bas dekhta hi rahu..
ekdam gorey gorey do gubbare..
koi shikan nahi padi thi uunpar..
totally plain and smooth surface..
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Mai uuspar haath ferne laga..
aur ferta hi raha..
dono gubbaro ke beech mein narm mulayam gehre laal rang ka uska woh jaan-leva chhed...!
uus chhed ko sehlana muje saatve aasmaan ki sair ke jaise lagta tha..
kuchh der tak mai usey sehlate raha..
apni finger se usey kuredne ki halki si kosish karta rha..
mere dil mein vasna ki aandhi aa chuki thi..
mai madhosh hota chala..
.
tab..usne apni gaand pichey dhakeli
aur muje jaldi karne ko fir yaad dilaya..
Maine apne cock-head uske chhed par rakha..
condom ka istemaal ka toh sawaal hi nahi tha,
kyo ke tab uska koi culture nahi tha
ya fir kaafi kam jaankari thi ham sabko..
umar bhi toh dono ki koi jyada nahi thhi.
.
Mere ek hi zordaar dhakkey ne uske muuh se cheekh nikalwa di..
'slowly yaar.. kya kr rha hai..' usne jhalla kar kaha..
'sorry..' keh kar maine apne aap par kaabu pa liya..
.
ladka chahe oral sex mein kachcha tha,
magar anal-sex ka kaafi experienced lagta tha..
bas do-chhar dhakko ke baad, woh meri size se accustomed ho gya
aur behtarin response dene laga..
.
'enjoying..?' maine puchha.
'yeah.. carry on..but hurry up..' usne green signal diya.
aur mai apni taqat azmane laga..
dhakko ki raftaar badha di maine..
.
bas..
within 10mins, i acheived a fantastic climax..
ham dono fully satisfied thhe..
uskey chehre par ek khubsurat muskaan aa gayi, maano ke sex-partner ki apni choice se woh khush tha.
ham dono ki yeh sex-date ekdam successful rahi..
.
ham dono ne kapde pehan liye,
aur pichle darwaaze se mai bahar nikal aaya..
.
.
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Mansukh meri performance se kaafi impressed tha..
kyo ke fir woh muje, mauka milte hi har 10-15 din mein, apni shop par sex-session ke liye bulane laga.
Yeh kariban 6months tak chala hoga..
during which maine usey 12-15 times fuck kiya hoga.
.
Fir achanak uske fon aaney bandh ho gaye..
Uske paas cell-fon toh tha nahi..
usne muje apni shop ka hi fon-nmbr diya tha.
Magr mai fon karne se darta tha, ke pata nahi kaun receive karega aur kya puchega..
6-7 mahine beet gaye..Mansukh ka koi news nahi tha.
.
aur..
achanak ek din uska fon aaya..
usney dusre din muje apni shop par bulaya..about 12pm noon.
mai us'sey milne ko betaab ho chuka
aur apna sab schedule re-suffle kar ke usko milne chala gaya.
mujse milte hi, woh fauran muje apne ghar le gaya..
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uska ghar koi jyada duur nahi tha..
ghar par uske, koi nahi tha..
I was so happy with the privacy we got..
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usne muje kaha ke uske parents gaanv gaye hai.. aur uske uncle aur cousin shop attend kar rahe hai..aur ghar par shaam ko 7baje ke baad hi aayenge toh upto 6pm, we can safely enjoy.
.
Hamne sex kiya..
khuub sex kiya..
I fucked him thrice during those 6 hours..
I fucked him in various styles, different positions, and at several places like bathroom, hall bedroom..even gallary..
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aur jo hisaab se woh muje response de rha tha.. I was astonished..
achraj ho rha tha muje, ke sirf 18 saal ka yeh ladka..kitne chaav se luutf utha rha hai gaand marwaane mein..
meri 3 saal ki sex life mein, muje jitne bhi ladke miley thhe, uun sab ke saath ek session mein ek baar se jyada maine climax nahi achieve ki thi..
kyo ke privacy ya mauke ki kami ki wajah se, yeh mumkin nahi hota tha.
.
Toh uus din, at a stroke mein, at a stretch, 3 baar uski gaand mein maal nikalne se mai toh dhanya ho gya..
Sham ko nikalte waqt, usne muje puchha- "kal fir aaoge..?"
.
aaj itna sex karne ke baad, fir dusre din sex karna..
thoda surprising lagta tha..
maine kaha- "abhi ek week hai, haath mein.. do-teen din baad aa jaunga."
toh woh bola- "kal 12 baje aa jaao, please, tumse kuch serious baat bhi karni hai.."
maine koi arguement nahi ki..
mera bhi dil bhi kaafi ho rha tha, us'se fir se sex karne ko..
yaar, woh umar hi aisi thi..
3times climax acheive karna koi mushkil nahi tha..
kai ek baar mood ban'ne par, din mein 3 baar muuth marna, mere liye koi extra-ordinary baat nahi thi..
.
dusre din mai fir uske ghar gaya..
hamne fir chudaai ki..
har position mein..
kisi bhi style ki fucking mein, woh muje kuchh bhi karne ko mana nahi kar rha tha..
mai apni marzi ke mutabik uska istemaal karta tha
aur woh meri harkat ko dil se enjoy kar rha tha..
.
2 round khamt hue
aur baad mein, jab ham bed par leite thhe
tab woh baat maine chhed hi di..
"what's that matter, which u were talking yesterday..?"
"yeah.. mai soch rha tha ke kab aur kaise batau tum ko.."
"anything serious..? koi accident ya death..? tumhare parents gaanv kyo gye hai..? -maine uska haath apne haath mein lete hue puchha
.
"woh..baat aisi hai ke jald hi, mai 'diksha' le raha hu.."
"matlab..?"
"matlab Sanyaas.. mai sanyaas le rha hu.."
.
mere haath, jo uske haath ko sehla rha tha, woh ruuk gaya..
mai uski aankho mein aankey daal kar dekhne laga..
uski aankhe muje dekhti rahi..chupchaap
.
"kaisi baat kar rha hai tu yaar..? you gone crazy or what..?" -kuch der baad maine re-act kiya.
"no, I am serious.."
"kahaa se aise betuke khayaal aate hai tere dimaag mein, yaar"
"kai mahino se mere zahen mein yeh sab chal rha hai..ya kai saalo se.."
"toh bhuul ja ab woh sab.. kuch achcha soch yaar.."
"yeh achchi baat hi hai, aisi baat har koi nahi sochta. aur sochta bhi hai to har koi serious thought nahi deta usey.."
"yehi toh mai keh rha hu..dont give a serious thought to it.."
"every thing is decided..sab fix ho chuuka hai.."
"fix..matlab..? apne mummy-daddy se bhi baat ki hai kya..?"
"yes.."
"o fuck.., jara unki feelings ke baare mein socha hota.. kitne armaan honge tere liye..teri shaadi ko lekar..tere bachche honge..dada-daadi ban'ne ke unke sab sapne..kuch toh khayal karna tha unka. tu toh.."
"unhoney permission de di hai.." -Mansukh ne meri baat ko kaat diya.
.
"what..? permission de di..?" -mere liye yeh ek zordar shock tha..
kaise re-act karu kuch samaz mein nahi aa rha tha..
"yeah.. in fact unko toh khushi hai, ke maine aakhir yeh decision le hi liya..bahut mahino se mai confused tha, ke mai kya karu. aur yeh baat woh jaante thhe."
"aise kaise permission de di yaar..? unka beta unko chhor kar ja rha hai, aur unko koi taqleef nahi hui..?"
"yeh koi buuri baat toh nahi ho rahi.. infact, mere nanaji ne bhi diksha li hai..mere mama ke ek ladke ne bhi li hai..meri bua (fuufi) bhi saadhvi hai.."
.
.
bada ajeeb lag rha tha muje yeh ladka, uske parents, uskey ghar ka mahaul..
sab kuch unbeleivable tha mere liye..
koi suicide karne baat kr rha hai, aur baaki log usey support karey toh kaisa feel hota hai..?
bas waisa hi kuch muje feel ho rha tha.
iis ladke ki soch par muje taras aa rha tha..
i was feeling pity for him..
itna hatta-katta sunder sa nau-jawan ladka..
kya nahi uske paas..!
sehat.. khubsurati..
baap ki jami-jamaai dukaan,
iis mumbai shaher mein ek bada sa well-furnished ghar,
pyar krnewale ma-baap
family, friends..
.
bada hokar shaadi karke achchi zindagi basar kar sakta hai..
magr pata nahi iis nadaan ke dimaag mein yeh kya ghuus gya hai..
.
mai udaas hota chala..
agar iiske ma-baap ne permission na di hoti, toh definitely mai uunki side lekar, iis nadan ladke ka brain-wash karne ki koshish karta..
magar jab ma-baap raazi hai itna bada kadam uthane ke liye, toh meri toh kuch banti hi nahi..
toh..
maine apne hathiyaar daal diye..
mai usko ek tak dekhta raha
.
hamdono ne uskey baad koi jyada baat nahi ki
logo ke aise re-action ka shayad woh aadi ho chuka hoga..
toh usne muje disturb karna nai chaha...
bas chuup chaap hi rha, aur muje waqt deta rha, yeh jhatka bardasht karne ke liye..
pichhle din hamne 3round kiye thhe, sex ke
uus din 2 round hue thhe aur tisre round ka mera irada bhi thha,
magar woh toh, usne yeh bomb foda, us'sey pehle ki baat thi..
.
ab toh mere mood ka satyanaash nikal chuuka tha..
maine chaai piney ki ichcha jaahir ki..
usne apne haatho se chaai banayi..
aur muje pilaai
maine cigarette jalaayi, aur chaai pitey pitey usey dekhta rha..
woh nazrein juka kar baitha rha..
koi kuch bol nahi rha tha..
.
fir..
mai waha se chalta bana..
aur apne ghar pahuch gya.
.
pichhle din toh 3 round ke bawajood bhi, aur dusre din sex honewala hai yeh jante hue bhi, raat ko bistar mein leite leite, uuski khubsurat jawani ko yaad karke maine muuth maari thi..
.
magar aaj toh sirf 2round hue thhe,
fir bhi raat ko mera koi mood nahi bana, muuth marne ka..
aaj bhi, woh qayamat dhaanewala badan yaad aa rha tha..
magar uska asar kuch nahi ho rha tha..
situation to aisi thi, ke agar koi muje kahe ke -Ashit, yeh Mansukh apna irada badal dega. lekin ek sart par. aur woh yeh, ke tu uske saath puuri life mein kabhi bhi sex mat karna..
toh, tabhi meri mental condition aisi thi, ke mai woh shart bhji maan'ne ko, aur usey chhor dene ko taiyaar tha..
kitna disturbed aur udaas ho gya tha mai..
muje us'se kuch nahi chaiye tha..bas yehi ke woh iis sansaar mein rahey aur khush hokar, duniya ka har sukh usey naseeb ho..
itne mahine, maine us'sey sirf pure-sex hi kiya tha..
kabhi emotionally attached nhi hua tha..
magr ab muje lagne laga, ke mai us'sey pyaar karne laga hu..
usey kho kar, mai adhura hi bann kar reh jaunga..
woh ladka toh muje pyaar karta nahi..
woh toh shayad apne parents ko bhi pyaar nahi karta,
tabhi toh uun ko permanently chhor kar jaane ko taiyar hua hai..
lekin fir bhi..
muje uske upar, all of a sudden, ekdam hi pyaar umad aaya.
.
.
maine raato-raat tay kiya, ke mai usey itna pyar dunga, ke mera pyaar paa kar woh yeh sab nautanki chhor de..
mai jaanta tha, ke this is not possible..
fir bhi usey mai woh sab dena chahta tha, jis'se mere saath waali mulakaat uske liye ek yaadgaar bann ke reh jaaye.
.
Teesre din, mai uske ghar gya..
Ab tak maine kuch kuchh recover kar liya tha..
toh mai fir uske saath sex karne ka mood bana paya.
ek baar fir, maine uski gaand khuub jamm kar maari..
uske chehre par satisfaction ki laqeer saaf dikh rhi thhi,
aur mai bhi yehi dekhna chahta tha.
.
maine usey apni gode mein bithaya
aur uski gardan par apna muh ghumane laga
usey meri nazdeeki ka ehsaas dilane laga..
dusre haath se mai uska lund sehla rha tha, jo ke khuub tann kar khada tha..
pichhle do dino mein, mai uski muuth maar maar kar uska maal jadwata tha..
aur aaj bhi yehi kar rha tha.
par aaj maine usey kuch der ke baad khada kiya..
mai bistar par peeth ke bal leit gaya
aur apne paanv utha kar, usey meri maarne ka ishara kiya..
woh surprised ho kar muje dekhne laga..
hamari relationship mein aisa kabhi bhi nahi hua tha..
na maine kabhi bhi uska chusa tha, aur na hi kabhi us'se marwaai thi..
by the way, usne toh kabhi koi demand bhi nahi ki thi..
.
aisa nahi ke maine kabhi apni marwaai nahi thi..
meri sex life ki shuruaat, as-a-bottom hi hui thi..
mai tabhi kaafi chhota tha..kuch 14-15 saal ka..
aur muje iis gay-sex mein introduce karnewala banda hoga, koi 25-26 ka..
aur uske baad 2-3 aur bando ne mujse sex kiya, woh bhi yehi umar ke thhe..
kehne ka matlab, woh itne sab umar mein bade thhe, ke mai unko mana nahi kar sakta thha..
kuul mila kar 3 saalo mein maine 25-30 baar marwaai hogi..
magar kabhi bhi mai aisa karne mein khush nahi tha.
I never liked being a bottm, but still I remained a bottom bcoz i cud not dare to deny them
.
But after a few years, when i was about 17-18 and had completed my schooling, mere dost sab badal gaye thhe..
naye dost, aur circle, aur mahoul...sab badal gaya..
ladkiyo ki baat, film-heroine ke figure ki discussion, sab khulle-aam, frequently hone laga tha..
tabhi maine socha, ke ab bahut ho gya..ab mai ye sab nahi karne dunga kisi ko..
mai ladkiyo wala kaam nahi karunga..
And i stopped bottoming.
.
lekin, meri gay-sex ki chahat kam nahi hui..
But now, i got attracted to younger guys..umar mein mujse chhote, ya to fir height mein mujse short..
college ke liye, meri train mein travelling shuru ho gayi thi..
toh train aur station ke public-toilet mein meri nazar, aise ladko ko dhundne lagi..
uus waqt internet ya social-sites ki absence mein, ladko ko aise hi search kiya jata tha..
Internet kaafi costly hua karta tha..toh personal-use ke liye usey afford nahi kar pata tha.
Anyway, somehow i used to find such younger boys
and i manged to become a top..
.
uske baad, mai hamesha top hi bann kar reh gya..
aisa badlaav, sab ki zindagi mein aata hai ya nahi, i dont know,
but yeah, maine apni sexual-orientation badal di..
mai aisa kar saka kyo ke muje lagta hai, ke mai kabhi bottom tha hi nahi..
this could be the only reason for my switching over from being bottom to top.
.
.
Magr aaj mai fiir raazi ho gya, bottom ban'ne ko..
muje iis ladke ko woh sab dena hai jo mai de sakta hu..
shayad isi'se tempt ho kar woh apna irada badal de.
ek naakam kosish ki maine, out of frustration..
.
maine usey apne upar chadhaya..
usne koi interest nahi dikhaya.
Magar maine usey ek baar try karne ko kaha..
'lekin kya jarurat hai..?' -usne pucha..
'bas ek baar, mere liye itna karo..' -maine kuch request-tone mein kaha.
.
usne try kiya
aur success bhi hua andar entry maarne ko..
it was quite a pain for me..
lekin maine tolerate kiya,
itna toh muje karna hi tha agar usey iis cheez mein involve karke rakhna ho toh..
fir,
maine usey dhakko ki raftaar badha kar luutf uthane ko kaha..
usney zor laga kar dhakke dene shuru kiye
magar jyada der tak woh nahi kar saka..
i don't know why..
kuch der baad, usney apna bahar nikal liya..bina maal jaade hi..
I asked him the reason, but he didn't say anything..
sirf mujse lipat kar sota rha..
at last, maine uski muuth maar di...
uus din mai fir 3 round sex ke kar paya..
teeno baar maine uske khubsurat badan mein apna prem-ras bhar diya..
.
this sex-sessions carried on for three more days..
usney diye hue iis gehre sadme se, har dusre din mai jyada se jyada recover hota gya..
aur saath saath roz mai jyada se jyada tuut'ta bhi gya yeh soch kar ke hamare meeting-period ka ek din aur kam ho gya hai..
ek taraf mai strong hota gya, toh dusri taraf aur jyada udaas bhi hota gaya.
.
Woh last din aaya jab uske parents aane waale thhe.
tab agli raat ko maine ek letter likha..
20 saal ka mai ek ladka..
kaafi immatured tha..kya likhu kuch samaz nahi pa rha tha..
toh kaafi waqt liya maine sirf ek page ka letter likhne mein.
maine likha tha ke-
mai us'sey bahut pyar karta hu..aur usey kabhi yeh nahi sochna chahiye, ke woh ek ladki ki tarah hi hai..woh bhi ek mard hi hai..aur ek mard ki tarah, woh bhi sex kar sakta hai..usne muje penetrate kiya tha, woh iis baat ka proof hai..toh agar, aise kuch darr se, woh shaadi karna avoid kar rha hai, aur agar sanyaas yehi reason se le rha hai, ke usey shaadi na karni padey, toh mai usey full co-operation dene ko taiyaar hu..woh mujse mere husband ki tarah, tab tak sex kar sakta hai, jab tak usey full confidence na aa jaaye.. Maine room ke andar, akele mein ladkiyo waale kapde pahn'ne ki bhi taiyaari dikhayi.
.
(aaj bhi muje jab yaad aata hai, toh i'm quite surprised with my this offer..ke kisi ki devotion mein koi kuch bhi karne ko kaise ready ho jaata hai..)
.
Aur aage likha tha ke agar actually usey ladkiya pasand nahi hai aur sirf mujse hi sex karna achcha lagta hai, toh mai uske saath puuri life bitane ko taiyaar hu..fir ham dono mein se jo bhi, jab chahe husband ya wife ka rol kar sakta hai, aur hamari life khub haseen tarike se beet sakti hai..
maine uusey yaha tak yakeen dilaya ke mai uus par koi burden bann ke nahi rahunga..mai apna kharch khud nikaal lunga, bcoz i have already started working a part time job.
Aur is'mein se agar usey kuch bhi manzoor nahi hai, toh bhi muje us'se koi complain nahi hogi..bas meri ek hi request hai ke agar woh iis sansaar mein, as a family-person bann kar rahe aur duniya ki woh sab khushiya aur luxary enjoy kare, jo ke usey itni easily available hai, jitni kisi bhi common ladke ko, even muje bhi, nahi hai..
.
.
well,
dusre din hamari last meeting ke baad maine usey yeh letter diya
aur mere jaane ke baad padhne ko kaha..
after that, i think his parents returned back,
and we stopped meeting, and he didn't even call me..
.
jaise jaise din bit'te gaye,
mera yakeen badhta gya ke mere letter ka uus par koi impact nahi hua hai..
lekin mere dil mein, fir bhi ek ummid thi,
kyo ke mai sachche dil se ishwar se prarthna karta raha tha, ke Mansukh apna decision change kar de
aur mera bhagwaan yeh khuub janta tha, ke iis prayers mein, mera koi bhi swaarth nahi tha..
maine chaahi thi, toh sirf uski khushiyaan, his happiness..that's all
aur isiliye..
muje meri prayers par pura yakeen tha,
aur iisi yakeen par, mai din guzaarta rha.
.
magar dosto, sab ki dua kubul toh nahi hoti na..!
shayad meri prayers mein kuch kami rahi hogi..
ya fir mera bhagwaan mujse koi jyada khush nahi tha..
kyo ke uskey baad, Mansukh ka koi fon nahi aaya
aur aaya bhi, toh bas ek baar, kuch 2 mahino ke baad.
woh muje apni 'sanyaas-ceremony' mein mujhe invite karna chahta..
magar maine mana kar diya, jane ko..
and that was it..
.
uske baad uska kabhi bhi koi fon nahi aaya.
aur na hi koi uski khabar aayee.
.
muje kabhi kabhi uski yaad toh aati hi rahi
magar mai jaanta tha, ke uske religion waale sanyaasi purey india mein, har jagah ghumte hi rehte hai..
kisi ek jagah mein woh max to max 8-10 din hi reh sakte hai,
aur woh bhi unke religion ke mandir mein hi..aur kahi nahi..
apni city mein jab woh aaye, toh bhi gharwaale unhe sirf mandir mein hi ja kar mil sakte hai..lekin bataur ek sanyaasi ki tarah hi, full respect ke saath..na ke ek bete ya ek bhai ki tarah..
blood relations toh jaise khatm hi ho jaate hai..
agar bachta hai, toh sirf ek relation, aur woh hai ek saadhu aur ek sansaari ka..
both of them at the opposite ends.
unki clothing, unka khana-pina, rehan-sahan ek dam simple magar kaafi strict hota hai..
even what they eat is totally tasteless, or rather mixture of all tastes..
.
ab iitni sab information ke baad, maine uski aur se koi bhi ummid nahi rakhi thi
aaj 2012 mein, uus baat ko 8 saal biit gaye..
mai apni life mein involve hota gaya..
usey bhulta chala gaya..
.
Mansukh ko kabhi bhi, maine apna address nahi bataya tha ke mai kaha rehta hu..
koi jarurat hi nahi padi thi.
.
magar aaj, after 8years, suddenly ek ittefaaq se hamari mulaaqat ho gayi..
I'm damn sure, he must have recognized me..
kyo ke uskey appearance mein aaye hue kaafi badlaao ke bavajuud, mai usey pehchaan paya tha..
toh fir mera appearance toh waisa hi hai jaisa 8saal pehle tha..sirf umar ka halka sa asar hua hai, that's all
aur uski aankho mein maine woh pahchaan ki chamkaar bhi dekhi thi..chaahe ek ya do pal ke liye hi sahi..
magar usne apne aap ko control kr liya, fauran.
.
Mai ghar aaya toh mai fir disturbed ho chuuka tha..
mai sochta rha, ke agar usne sanyaas lene ka itna pakka faisla kar hi liya thha toh fir usney muje apne saath sex karne ko kyo invite kiya..
normally aise period mein, jab ke kisi ke haath mein sirf kuch hi din baaki ho toh,
woh apne aap ko, apni aane waali life-style ke dhaanche mein dhaalne ki koshish mein lag jata hai..
magar mansukh ko jab aisa mauka mila, toh usne uus mauke ka bharpur faaida uthaya..
kya hoga uske dimaag mein uus waqt..?
shayad woh apne aap ko jitna ho sake utna jyada satisfy kar lena chahta tha..so that, aage chal kar koi bhi ichcha adhuri na reh jaaye..
whatever..
jaisi jiski philosophy..
.
magar aaj us'se milne ke ek mahine ke baad bhi, mere mann mein kai ek sawaal khade hai..
woh apni sex-drive ko itni aasani se kaise daba paya hoga..
kya usko kisi bhi cheez ka koi sauk ya jarurat nhi mehsus hoti hogi..?
woh apni will-power ko itni strong kaise bana paya hoga..
aur sab se important baat yeh, ke usey kya jarurat padi thi aisa kadua decision lene ki..?
.
Meri pichli zindagi ki yaadein, fir se laut aayi hai..jo ke muje kaafi disturb kar rhi hai..
but i'm sure, ke kuch hi din tak mai aisa disturbed rahunga..
aur fir wapas, mai apni routine life mein juut jaunga..
.
.
.
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