.
.
toh mai keh rha tha..
meri khushi aur meri masti kahaan hai..?
.
woh toh abhi mere saamne khadi hai, Ishaak ke ruup mein.
mere boy-frnd ke ruup mein..
lekin woh mera, ek porn-star ka boy-frnd kyu banega?
.
.
waise.., tum ko kya lagta hai?
ke sab porn-star ko boy-friend hota hai..?
aur woh apni baaki ki zindgi kisi farm-house mein murga-murgi paalne mein aaram se bitate hai..?
arey yaar...
aisi bahut kam cheezein hoti hai, jo ke ek porn-star apni khubsurati dhalne ke baad kar sakta hai..
.
Agar tum ek actor ho..
toh tum 'character-artist' bann sakte ho.
magar ek porn-star aisa kuchh nahi bann sakta.
Woh to ek gobar ka dheeg bann kar reh jata hai
jisme koi ghusna nahi chahega.
.
Log tumhe dekh kar chilla uthenge -
"baap re..! yeh kitna mota ho gaya hai, pehle to kitna masuum, kitna CUTE lagta tha.
Saala, isne apne aap ko aisa ban'ne hi kyo diya?"
.
.
Ek porn-career ki zindgi 5 saal ki hoti hai, zyada se zyada..
chalo 7 saal, agar tum jabardasti tikey raho iis line mein toh,
jaise ke mai kar raha hu..
.
lekin,
mai woh dard bhi toh feel kar rha hu, jab mai kisi bar mein 'strip-show' karne jata hu.
arey..Koi maai-ka-laal nahi aata hai, woh show dekhne ko.
Tum do-chaar baar aur try maaro, aur fir akhir haar kar retire ho jana padta hai, bina kisi lover ke.
.
Kyo, bina lover ke?
kyu ke tum ko tolerate karne ka dard, tumse jyada tumhare lover ko hota rehta hai.
usey hardam tumhara chehra internet par dekhna padta hai.
woh mastana chahera, jo ke 5-10 saal pahle hua karta tha tumhara.
Woh sweet chehra aur woh mastana jism..
jo ke hazaaro log, kabhi chhuna chahte thhe
usey feel karna chahte thhe..
.
Pornstar ka boy friend hona, yeh apne aap mein ek nark ki peeda hoti hai..
tumhare boy-friend ke chehre ki har shikan chilla chilla kar yehi kehti hoti hai -
"mai issey kitna chahta tha, jab yeh jawan aur handsome tha..par ab dekho issey..kaisa ho gya hai yeh"
.
Lekin log dikhave ko kyu itna importance dete hai..?
kyo ke, woh dete hai yaar..
Leave it..
.
Gay-world mein looks ko itna importance dena hi woh baat hai,
jo ke ham sab ko bhediya bana deti hai.
aisa be-raham badmaash, jise ordinary straight bandey nafrat karte hai..
Ham log apne sapne sach nahi karna jaante..
bas kisi burey sapne mein hi hardam jina jaante hai..
.
Ham dono, mai aur Ishaak ek baar Hustaball gaye thhe,
tab waha ek MLA ke ladke se apne lund chuswaye thhe
.
Ham log ne 500-500 doller liye thhe, ussey
aur saare paise drugs par uuda diye thhe.
Uus ladke ne apne ATM se kuch aur paise nikale thhe
aur fir woh hamare saath Barbados aaya thha
yaha hamare dost Josh ne, apne khambe ke jaise tagde lund se, uus ladke ko khub choda tha,
fir uskey chartered jet plane mein ham waapas Hustaball aaye
Ishaak ke saath ki meri life, muje yaad aa rahi hai..
woh MLA ka ladka, jaise ke hamara khilona bann chuka tha..
ham dono ne uski gaand itni baar maari thi,
ke maano woh hamare life ka koi permanent furniture hi bann gaya tha..
jiski hamare liye koi jyada importance hi nahi thi.
.
Manhattan mein uska pent-house tha, jo ke mai aur Ishaak dono istemaal kar rahe the.
Subah ko sotey thhe satin ki sheet par..
dopahar mein yoga karte thhe
shaam ko halke fulke drugs
aur saari raat chudaai.
Itni saari Luxary basi hai ham-dono ki yaado mein, jisko aap log imagine tak nahi kar paate.
Aur aaj..?
aaj toh shukr hai khuda ka, ke mai kisi jhopde mein nahi raheta..
.
.
Jhopde mein toh muje tab bhi nahi jaana pada jab meri ma ne jab muje chhor diya tha..
haan, agar Pedro chahta toh aisa ho jaata.
Magar woh baap tha mera,
mere sautela baap,
mera sagga lover.
.
bhale hamesha woh mera 'top' bana raha..
magar usne nahi chaha ke uske alawa mai kisi aur ka 'bottom' banu..
muje uuski woh mentality samaz mein nahi aa rahi..
arey bottom ban'na mein kya buraai hai..?
paise toh dono bhi kamaate hai iis line mein..top ho ya bottom.
balke kai ek baar toh bottom ko jyada paise milte hai..kisi ek gay-flim mein.
even uuskey naam par toh dvd bhi bikti hai..
dvd cover par foto bhi usiki hoti hai..
ab
brent corrigan ko hi dekh lijiye..
uskey saath, fuck-scene mein chaahe kitna bhi mast aur macho type top la kar chhor do
magr log toh uusi mastane bottom-boy Brent ko hi dekhte hai..
yeh ladka Brent chaar chaar leather stud ke beech mein bhi apne aap ko aise chamkata hai..
maano purey scene ka sutra-dhaar woh khud hi hai..
uun sabhi tops ke itne mast tagde lund hotey hai,
magar public ki nazar toh Brent ke lund par hi tiki rehti hai..
jo ke gaand marwaate waqt bhi, ekdam tann kar khada hi rehta hai
uus khubsurat ladke ki double-penetration bhi karo,
fir bhi woh apni erection gumata nahi hai..
aisa lagta hai ke puri enjoyment toh iis ladke ko mil rahi hai..
woh tops kya khaak enjoy kar rhe hai..
woh to bechaare bas mehnat hi kar rhe hai..dhakke maar maar kar apne aap ko bas thaka hi rhe hai..
aur mazaa toh saari yeh ladka Brent hi le rha hai..
.
Aur dusre end par..aise bhi bottoms dekhne ko milenge jo kisi rape scene ko bhi achcha saabit kar denge..
Real life mein, actually jab kisi innocent ladke ka koi jab rape karta hai..
tab agar uus action ko shoot kar liya jaay
toh woh badnasib ladka bhi actually rape hote waqt, utna nahi tadapta hoga,
jitna ke yeh 'bottom' porn-star tadapta hua dikhta hai..
Uska badsurat chehra, dard ki shikan se aur bhi badsurat bann jaata hai..
Porn-clip dekhnewaali public ke lund khada honey ke bajaay,
ladke ki taraf sympathy mein aakar ro dete honge..
aur yehi chaahte honge ke kab yeh miserable fuck-scene pura ho jaaye..
aur kab iis ladke ka dukh dard khatm ho jaaye..
hahaha...
Anyway,
toh mai keh rha tha..
ke bhale Pedro hamesha mera 'top' bana raha..
magar usne nahi chaha ke uske alawa mai kisi aur ka 'bottom' banu..
.
usne mere jism ko aisa nikhar diya..
aur yeh dhyaan rakkha ke mera badan ek mard ki tarah parwaan chadhe..
gym mein phisical exercise karwaate waqt, woh hardam meri supervision karta rehta tha,
yeh dekhne ke liye, ke mai koi kasar na chhor du..
2 saal tak mere jism ko sanwaar ne mein woh itna guutt gaya tha,
ke usey yeh khyal na rha
ke waha ki portuguese language, ya even english language par mere bilkuul achcha control nai hai..
India mein meri padhaai to waise bhi koi jyada nai ho paai thi..
aur mera waha Brazil mein toh rehna hi illegal tha..toh padhaai ki toh baat hi nahi sochi thi.
meri ma ne bhi apni citizenship paane ke liye jitni mehnat ki thi,
us'sey aadhi bhi fikr mere liye nahi ki thi..
.
khair pehle toh jab Pedro ne muje apni tarah film-actor banana chaha,
toh tab usey pata chala ke language ki jaankaari kitni jaruri hoti hai..
aakhir mai jab 19 saal ka hua tab usne muje porn films mein kaam dilwana chaha.
.
usne meri marzi puchhi iis baare mein..
toh maine haan toh keh di,
magar ek shart par, ke woh gay porn hi honi chahiye.
mai kisi aurat ke saath sex nahi karna chahta tha kyo ke aurate muje pasand hi nahi thi..
shayad iis liye.. kyo ke meri ma bhi ek aurat thi,
mai mard pasand karta tha, kyo ke mard muje achche lagte thhe..
simple reason, kyo ke Pedro bhi ek mard tha..
.
jab maine yeh baatein Pedro ko bataai toh sentimental ho gaya..
muje apni baaho mein bhar kar bola ke mai galat soch raha hu.
sex karte waqt kisi aurat ke saath pyaar nahi karna padta,
and similarly, sex karnewala har mard, jaruri nahi ke tumse pyaar karta ho.
.
Mere Ishaak ki baat toh ekdam hi alag hai..
Woh pyaar toh karta hai mujse shaayad,
magar..
mere saath sex nahi karta..
.
Waise maine bhi meri puri career mein, jitne mardo ke saath maine sex kiya hai,
unmey se kisi ke saath pyaar nahi kiya..
Ishaak ko chhor kar.
.
Kareeban 600 bando ko maine istemaal kiya hai..
aur uun sab ko achcha lagta tha istemaal hona..
gaaliya khana,
thappad khana,
muh par thukwana,
aur aisa sab kuchh woh pasand karte thhe,
jis'se ke unko aisa feel ho, ke woh ek kamzor aur passive banda hai.
Bahar ki duniya mein woh chahe kitna bhi powerful ho
magar hamare saamne to hardam woh ghutno ke bal hi rehna pasand karte the.
.
Ham sab bhi, bahar se jaise dikhte hai, waise nahi hai..
sach to aur bhi ganda hota hai..
hai na..?
.
Mai uske ghar ki sidi par kuch kadam upar chadha.
usey kiss karne ke liye.
Ishaak..mera Ishaak..
muje kam-se-kam utna to do..
ek kiss.. ek hug..kabhi kabhi toh diya karo..
muj par rahem kar..mere dost..
.
magar woh duur hi khada raha..
"This is so fucking embarrassing, buddy. Mai tuje fon par nahi bata sakta tha.."
"What ? What is that..? " maine puchha
"yeh jo ek 'client' hai..uusi ka sab lafda hai.."
"U mean, here ? tere ghar mein? kya hua ? mutthi se chodte waqt kya uski gaand mein teri diamond-ring reh gayi kya?
"No man.. ussey bhi jyada serious baat hai"
"kaun hai woh?" -maine worried tone mein puchha.
"Oh.. here, come on, have a beer.." -usney casual tone mein muje beer offer kari.
mai hairaan reh gaya.. yeh banda itna fikarmand hotey hue bhi kitna casual ho sakta hai.... (contd..)
.
=====================================
.
toh mai keh rha tha..
meri khushi aur meri masti kahaan hai..?
.
woh toh abhi mere saamne khadi hai, Ishaak ke ruup mein.
mere boy-frnd ke ruup mein..
lekin woh mera, ek porn-star ka boy-frnd kyu banega?
.
.
waise.., tum ko kya lagta hai?
ke sab porn-star ko boy-friend hota hai..?
aur woh apni baaki ki zindgi kisi farm-house mein murga-murgi paalne mein aaram se bitate hai..?
arey yaar...
aisi bahut kam cheezein hoti hai, jo ke ek porn-star apni khubsurati dhalne ke baad kar sakta hai..
.
Agar tum ek actor ho..
toh tum 'character-artist' bann sakte ho.
magar ek porn-star aisa kuchh nahi bann sakta.
Woh to ek gobar ka dheeg bann kar reh jata hai
jisme koi ghusna nahi chahega.
.
Log tumhe dekh kar chilla uthenge -
"baap re..! yeh kitna mota ho gaya hai, pehle to kitna masuum, kitna CUTE lagta tha.
Saala, isne apne aap ko aisa ban'ne hi kyo diya?"
.
.
Ek porn-career ki zindgi 5 saal ki hoti hai, zyada se zyada..
chalo 7 saal, agar tum jabardasti tikey raho iis line mein toh,
jaise ke mai kar raha hu..
.
lekin,
mai woh dard bhi toh feel kar rha hu, jab mai kisi bar mein 'strip-show' karne jata hu.
arey..Koi maai-ka-laal nahi aata hai, woh show dekhne ko.
Tum do-chaar baar aur try maaro, aur fir akhir haar kar retire ho jana padta hai, bina kisi lover ke.
.
Kyo, bina lover ke?
kyu ke tum ko tolerate karne ka dard, tumse jyada tumhare lover ko hota rehta hai.
usey hardam tumhara chehra internet par dekhna padta hai.
woh mastana chahera, jo ke 5-10 saal pahle hua karta tha tumhara.
Woh sweet chehra aur woh mastana jism..
jo ke hazaaro log, kabhi chhuna chahte thhe
usey feel karna chahte thhe..
.
Pornstar ka boy friend hona, yeh apne aap mein ek nark ki peeda hoti hai..
tumhare boy-friend ke chehre ki har shikan chilla chilla kar yehi kehti hoti hai -
"mai issey kitna chahta tha, jab yeh jawan aur handsome tha..par ab dekho issey..kaisa ho gya hai yeh"
.
Lekin log dikhave ko kyu itna importance dete hai..?
kyo ke, woh dete hai yaar..
Leave it..
.
Gay-world mein looks ko itna importance dena hi woh baat hai,
jo ke ham sab ko bhediya bana deti hai.
aisa be-raham badmaash, jise ordinary straight bandey nafrat karte hai..
Ham log apne sapne sach nahi karna jaante..
bas kisi burey sapne mein hi hardam jina jaante hai..
.
Ham dono, mai aur Ishaak ek baar Hustaball gaye thhe,
tab waha ek MLA ke ladke se apne lund chuswaye thhe
.
Ham log ne 500-500 doller liye thhe, ussey
aur saare paise drugs par uuda diye thhe.
Uus ladke ne apne ATM se kuch aur paise nikale thhe
aur fir woh hamare saath Barbados aaya thha
yaha hamare dost Josh ne, apne khambe ke jaise tagde lund se, uus ladke ko khub choda tha,
fir uskey chartered jet plane mein ham waapas Hustaball aaye
Ishaak ke saath ki meri life, muje yaad aa rahi hai..
woh MLA ka ladka, jaise ke hamara khilona bann chuka tha..
ham dono ne uski gaand itni baar maari thi,
ke maano woh hamare life ka koi permanent furniture hi bann gaya tha..
jiski hamare liye koi jyada importance hi nahi thi.
.
Manhattan mein uska pent-house tha, jo ke mai aur Ishaak dono istemaal kar rahe the.
Subah ko sotey thhe satin ki sheet par..
dopahar mein yoga karte thhe
shaam ko halke fulke drugs
aur saari raat chudaai.
Itni saari Luxary basi hai ham-dono ki yaado mein, jisko aap log imagine tak nahi kar paate.
Aur aaj..?
aaj toh shukr hai khuda ka, ke mai kisi jhopde mein nahi raheta..
.
.
Jhopde mein toh muje tab bhi nahi jaana pada jab meri ma ne jab muje chhor diya tha..
haan, agar Pedro chahta toh aisa ho jaata.
Magar woh baap tha mera,
mere sautela baap,
mera sagga lover.
.
bhale hamesha woh mera 'top' bana raha..
magar usne nahi chaha ke uske alawa mai kisi aur ka 'bottom' banu..
muje uuski woh mentality samaz mein nahi aa rahi..
arey bottom ban'na mein kya buraai hai..?
paise toh dono bhi kamaate hai iis line mein..top ho ya bottom.
balke kai ek baar toh bottom ko jyada paise milte hai..kisi ek gay-flim mein.
even uuskey naam par toh dvd bhi bikti hai..
dvd cover par foto bhi usiki hoti hai..
ab
brent corrigan ko hi dekh lijiye..
uskey saath, fuck-scene mein chaahe kitna bhi mast aur macho type top la kar chhor do
magr log toh uusi mastane bottom-boy Brent ko hi dekhte hai..
yeh ladka Brent chaar chaar leather stud ke beech mein bhi apne aap ko aise chamkata hai..
maano purey scene ka sutra-dhaar woh khud hi hai..
uun sabhi tops ke itne mast tagde lund hotey hai,
magar public ki nazar toh Brent ke lund par hi tiki rehti hai..
jo ke gaand marwaate waqt bhi, ekdam tann kar khada hi rehta hai
uus khubsurat ladke ki double-penetration bhi karo,
fir bhi woh apni erection gumata nahi hai..
aisa lagta hai ke puri enjoyment toh iis ladke ko mil rahi hai..
woh tops kya khaak enjoy kar rhe hai..
woh to bechaare bas mehnat hi kar rhe hai..dhakke maar maar kar apne aap ko bas thaka hi rhe hai..
aur mazaa toh saari yeh ladka Brent hi le rha hai..
.
Aur dusre end par..aise bhi bottoms dekhne ko milenge jo kisi rape scene ko bhi achcha saabit kar denge..
Real life mein, actually jab kisi innocent ladke ka koi jab rape karta hai..
tab agar uus action ko shoot kar liya jaay
toh woh badnasib ladka bhi actually rape hote waqt, utna nahi tadapta hoga,
jitna ke yeh 'bottom' porn-star tadapta hua dikhta hai..
Uska badsurat chehra, dard ki shikan se aur bhi badsurat bann jaata hai..
Porn-clip dekhnewaali public ke lund khada honey ke bajaay,
ladke ki taraf sympathy mein aakar ro dete honge..
aur yehi chaahte honge ke kab yeh miserable fuck-scene pura ho jaaye..
aur kab iis ladke ka dukh dard khatm ho jaaye..
hahaha...
Anyway,
toh mai keh rha tha..
ke bhale Pedro hamesha mera 'top' bana raha..
magar usne nahi chaha ke uske alawa mai kisi aur ka 'bottom' banu..
.
aur yeh dhyaan rakkha ke mera badan ek mard ki tarah parwaan chadhe..
gym mein phisical exercise karwaate waqt, woh hardam meri supervision karta rehta tha,
yeh dekhne ke liye, ke mai koi kasar na chhor du..
2 saal tak mere jism ko sanwaar ne mein woh itna guutt gaya tha,
ke usey yeh khyal na rha
ke waha ki portuguese language, ya even english language par mere bilkuul achcha control nai hai..
India mein meri padhaai to waise bhi koi jyada nai ho paai thi..
aur mera waha Brazil mein toh rehna hi illegal tha..toh padhaai ki toh baat hi nahi sochi thi.
meri ma ne bhi apni citizenship paane ke liye jitni mehnat ki thi,
us'sey aadhi bhi fikr mere liye nahi ki thi..
.
khair pehle toh jab Pedro ne muje apni tarah film-actor banana chaha,
toh tab usey pata chala ke language ki jaankaari kitni jaruri hoti hai..
aakhir mai jab 19 saal ka hua tab usne muje porn films mein kaam dilwana chaha.
.
usne meri marzi puchhi iis baare mein..
toh maine haan toh keh di,
magar ek shart par, ke woh gay porn hi honi chahiye.
mai kisi aurat ke saath sex nahi karna chahta tha kyo ke aurate muje pasand hi nahi thi..
shayad iis liye.. kyo ke meri ma bhi ek aurat thi,
mai mard pasand karta tha, kyo ke mard muje achche lagte thhe..
simple reason, kyo ke Pedro bhi ek mard tha..
.
jab maine yeh baatein Pedro ko bataai toh sentimental ho gaya..
muje apni baaho mein bhar kar bola ke mai galat soch raha hu.
sex karte waqt kisi aurat ke saath pyaar nahi karna padta,
and similarly, sex karnewala har mard, jaruri nahi ke tumse pyaar karta ho.
.
Mere Ishaak ki baat toh ekdam hi alag hai..
Woh pyaar toh karta hai mujse shaayad,
magar..
mere saath sex nahi karta..
.
Waise maine bhi meri puri career mein, jitne mardo ke saath maine sex kiya hai,
unmey se kisi ke saath pyaar nahi kiya..
Ishaak ko chhor kar.
.
Kareeban 600 bando ko maine istemaal kiya hai..
aur uun sab ko achcha lagta tha istemaal hona..
gaaliya khana,
thappad khana,
muh par thukwana,
aur aisa sab kuchh woh pasand karte thhe,
jis'se ke unko aisa feel ho, ke woh ek kamzor aur passive banda hai.
Bahar ki duniya mein woh chahe kitna bhi powerful ho
magar hamare saamne to hardam woh ghutno ke bal hi rehna pasand karte the.
.
Ham sab bhi, bahar se jaise dikhte hai, waise nahi hai..
sach to aur bhi ganda hota hai..
hai na..?
.
Mai uske ghar ki sidi par kuch kadam upar chadha.
usey kiss karne ke liye.
Ishaak..mera Ishaak..
muje kam-se-kam utna to do..
ek kiss.. ek hug..kabhi kabhi toh diya karo..
muj par rahem kar..mere dost..
.
magar woh duur hi khada raha..
"This is so fucking embarrassing, buddy. Mai tuje fon par nahi bata sakta tha.."
"What ? What is that..? " maine puchha
"yeh jo ek 'client' hai..uusi ka sab lafda hai.."
"U mean, here ? tere ghar mein? kya hua ? mutthi se chodte waqt kya uski gaand mein teri diamond-ring reh gayi kya?
"No man.. ussey bhi jyada serious baat hai"
"kaun hai woh?" -maine worried tone mein puchha.
"Oh.. here, come on, have a beer.." -usney casual tone mein muje beer offer kari.
mai hairaan reh gaya.. yeh banda itna fikarmand hotey hue bhi kitna casual ho sakta hai.... (contd..)
.
=====================================
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